I forgive
myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to constantly and continuously,
when meeting new men whom I see/perceive to be interested in me sexually, take
interest in them from that sexual/relationship perspective, and check out their
looks, social status and income status, and speculate about those things and
come to conclusions in my mind about them just from looking at their picture,
instead of realising and understanding that I am following a preprogrammed mind
design, where I will equate men, whose pictures are in line with what I have in
my mind accepted to be a picture of a "successful" man in terms of
survival in this world (money and social status), with success, and label them
as possible/potential partners, not realising and understanding that within
this I am abdicating my self-responsibility within my wish/desire to have a
partner whom I perceive would be giving me "stability" - thus
survival in this system - by being what I perceive to be a "successful
male".
When and as
I see myself being/becoming interested in men from the perspective of having
them as potential partners, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that
I am searching for stability and success and dignified survival and safety in
another by means of sexual and emotional manipulation, instead of working
towards giving those things to myself. Therefore I release the trigger point
with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath and regard men as equal human
beings and not potential partners, where I would judge and label and grade
them.
I commit
myself to stopping looking at men as potential partners, because I realise and
understand that by doing that I am only looking for ways to in a partnership hide
from myself and my own absolute self-responsibility and self-sustainability.
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