Tuesday, 9 June 2015

Day 209: Taking credit for my partner's success



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to the saying "behind every successful man there is a great woman", by feeling like responsibility for my partner's success in the system is being pushed onto me by this statement and people who are saying it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel responsible for my partner's success in the system, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel bad/negative/less than/inferior whenever I perceive that my partner is not successful in the system, and on the flip side feel good/positive/more than/superior whenever I perceive that my partner is successful in the system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to validate myself according to my perception of my partner's system success, and feel like I'm worth a lot when I perceive my partner to be successful, and feel worthless when I perceive my partner to be unsuccessful, instead of realising and understanding that I am participating within my mind's relationship construct for the sake of generating energy for my mind to survive as ego.

When and as I see myself validating myself with - or reacting to something due to validating myself with my partner's success - I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am participating in my mind as a system that connects to another system in order to survive and thrive, therefore I release the trigger point and thought pattern with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath towards what is best for all, not allowing myself to validate and be influenced in any way by the success I perceive my partner to have in the system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to  wish/want/need/desire to have a partner, who is successful in the system and rich, with which I could brag in front of people and make myself feel good about myself on account of my partner's success, not realising and understanding that I am supporting an illusion within myself by generating within myself a false sense of accomplishment, because I practically had nothing to do with my partner's success except for being his partner while he did it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to take credit for the help I might have offered/given my partner on his way to system success, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel accomplished (whenever I perceive my partner to be successful in the system) just for having been with him and helped him with tasks that lead to his success, and then own part of his success as my own in my mind, instead of realising and understanding that I am using minimal physical effort to get a big sense of satisfaction and gratification and generate a lot of positive energy in order to sustain and perpetuate my mind as ego.

When and as I see myself wanting to take credit for and make myself feel good about myself with my partner's success within the system, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am generating positive energy in my mind by feeling proud of my partner, feeling accomplished simply for being his partner, which I do not accept and allow anymore. Therefore I release the trigger point and thought pattern, I direct myself in breath and do not allow myself to validate myself with my partner in any way.

I commit myself to stopping and removing all triggers and thought patterns with which I want to validate myself with my partner's success in the system, because I realise and understand that I am only generating energy to survive and thrive as the mind and I am keeping myself enslaved with them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hope and dream and act towards getting a partner who will be successful in the system so that I wouldn't have to be putting in the effort to survive and sustain myself in the system but have a life of leisure that success brings, not realising and understanding that in this selfish pattern I am ignoring all of reality, all that is here, except myself and my own, which I realise and understand is unacceptable.