Sunday, 12 May 2013
Day 153: "Trust" and "intimacy" in relationships
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to have trust within my relationships, to want/need/desire to have a partner that I could 'trust', instead of realising and understanding that the 'trust' that I am seeking is a systematized manifestation of separation, where I will want my partner to keep my secrets, opinions and beliefs which I define myself with within and as the mind, not realising and understanding that within this desire for 'trust' I am actually compromising myself, my partner, and separating myself and both of us from all that is here by wanting to keep secrets that 'bind' us together. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive trust as an action of intimacy, within which I can 'trust' my partner with knowledge and information of myself as mind as definitions and perceptions with which I define myself, instead of realising and understanding that I am manifesting quite the opposite of the intended by separating myself into more dimensions of self-definition that I want to hide from certain people, and share with others, not realising and understanding that with this I am creating even more separation within myself and my outer world.
When and as I see myself wanting to share knowledge and information with another as/within 'trust', perceiving it to be an act of intimacy, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am in that moment searching for my self-intimacy through another/externalised point, thus moving even farther away from myself than I already was. I realise and understand that the word intimacy means Into me I see, therefore I release the trigger point of looking for intimacy outside of myself with self-forgiveness and direct myself in self-responsibility and self-intimacy towards what is best for me in a given situation within the context of what is best for all.
I commit myself to stopping and removing the energetic definitions and perceptions of trust as intimacy from
myself, because I realise and understand that by searching for trust and intimacy in another, I am looking for myself, but moving further away from myself by participating within 'trust' and 'intimacy' with another instead of myself.