Monday, 31 December 2012

Day 83: Fear of the past repeating itself within my partnership


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to immediately react with fear, anger, frustration, violence and hatred, whenever I hear my partner's message sound from his phone and/or his ex's ring tone, and fear that the message is from his ex, who is trying to manipulate him into straying away from me. I realise and understand that this is due to memories of past experiences, where my partner acted in a way that I did not perceive as best for all/me, within which I experienced being neglected and left out and felt inferior and negative. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to remember past occurrences with my partner, whenever I hear his ex's ringtone and message tone, and expect the worst, and for past experiences to repeat themselves, and within this blame my partner for me making myself feel bad based on hearing these sounds, instead of remaining here in breath and directing myself according to what is here.


When and as I hear my partner's message tone and/or his ex's ringtone from his phone, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I have built up a reaction mechanism in my mind based on memories of past experiences, and whenever I hear the ringtones, I become afraid of those past experiences repeating themselves, within which I do not regard what is here, but allow myself to be directed by fears. Therefore when I hear the ringtones, I do not allow myself to go into fear and anger and react with violence within my body, but I remain here in breath and direct myself according to what is here.


I commit myself to through writing and self-forgiveness stop and remove any and all reactions towards ringtones that I hear from my partner's phone, because I realise and understand that I have built up those reactions from fears based on memories of past events, where my partner would communicate through his phone and act in a way that I perceived as not best for me and as harmful for me, and now I am being directed by this fear of the past repeating itself, instead of me directing me in breath according to what is here.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold on to memories of past experiences with my partner of him acting in a way that I perceived as bad for myself, and within this build up constructs of hatred, anger, resentment and frustration towards him and his ex, and allow these memories and feelings to fester within me, and explode in violent reactions, whenever I access them in my mind when I hear ringtones from my partner's phone and when a memory about past experiences gets triggered within me in any other way, instead of realising and understanding that within this I am enslaving myself to my own mind's mechanisms and fears that I have allowed to exist within me.


When and as I see myself accessing memories of past experiences with my partner that I perceive and define as bad, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am giving into a fear mechanism, where I fear that the past will repeat itself, within which I will try to make myself feel superior to compensate for past feelings of inferiority and helplesness, and will try to with anger as superiority prevent past experiences from repeating themselves, thus I will try to scare my partner into not behaving the way that he used to behave in the past, so that I would not have to go through the emotional turmoil that I have saved in my memory bank for futuresurvival within our relationship. I also realise and understand that by making my partner afraid of me with anger, I am driving him further away from me and disabling myself and him from effectively communicating about the point that we're experiencing, therefore I release the trigger point of my reaction and the memories that support it with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath towards what is best for our agreement.


I commit myself to through writing and self-forgiveness identify and remove all memories and mind constructs and reactions, which I have build up in my mind about past experiences with my partner, because I realise and understand that as long as I allow our past to influence and direct our current experience, I am not directing myself in breath as an expression of Life, of myself Here, but as a fear system of survival.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry at my partner for giving into his ex's manipulations and promisses of safety, despite me warning him about what is going to happen, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel superior for having beein right, and I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be angry at him because I perceived that he didn't take me into account and neglected my well-being, when he was pursuing his illusion of safety with his ex, and within this I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to feel bitter about him not wanting to listen to me at that time.


When and as I see myself becoming angry at my partner for the way that he behaved towards me in the past, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am participating within a mind timeline construct, within which I will re-live the bad feelings that I have allowed myself to feel and become part of me in the past, when my partner behaved in a way that i perceived to be bad for me, and I will try to compensate for those bad feelings with making myself appear superior and more than with anger towards him, and will try to make him feel bad about his past behaviour towards me, so that he wouldn't repeat his behaviour from the past, thus I am creating and participating within an energetic polarity construct of my mind, within which I will generate energy through friction as judgement of my partner and consequentially myself, as I identify myself with the relationship with my partner and feel good or bad according to my perception of his behaviour, and thus I feed my mind as ego and allow the energies to flow between polarities, not realising and understanding that those energies are being created from the very substance of my body. Therefore I release the trigger point of my anger towards my partner for our past experiences together with self-forgiveness and direct myself towards what is best for our agreement in breath, here.


I commit myself to through writing and self-forgiveness and self-corrective application in breath stop and remove all reactions and feelings of anger towards my partner for his past behaviour, because I realise and understand that by acting from within memories of the past, I am not allowing our expression to flow freely Here in Breath, and I am stifling and suppressing our progress with Process by making us both unable to talk and discuss the point that we are facing.

Sunday, 30 December 2012

Day 82: "I want my partner to feel good around me"



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into desperation, whenever I see/perceive that my partner is not willing to write himself out, but is writing about points that he had already seemingly walked, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry and disappointed with my partner, whenever this happens, instead of realising and understanding that I am fearing that past experiences are going to repeat themselves, because I perceive my partner to be unwilling to face himself in absolute self-honesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into dismay, resentment, frustration and anger, whenever I see/perceive that my partner is giving into emotions and is not wanting to face himself with self-forgiveness, because I am afraid that the outflow of that will be that he will be looking for other people and neglect process and that past events are going to repeat themselves.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel negative, inferior and less than, whenever I see/perceive that my partner is reminiscing his past experiences and is feeling sorry for having lost them, instead of realising and understanding that I am validating myself according to how my partner is making himself feel in my vicinity.

When and as I see myself becoming affected by my partner's moods, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am participating within a mind polarity construct, where I will feel more than, better, superior and positive, when I perceive that my partner is having fun with me, and will feel negative, less than, inferior, when I see/perceive that my partner is bad mooded around me, and will take it as a personal failure, if he is bad mooded. Therefore I release the polarity point with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath towards what is best for us.

I commit myself to stopping and removing all feelings/validations of myself that are conditioned by how my partner is feeling, because I realise and understand that everyone generates their own feelings within themselves and blaming myself for the way that another feels and blaming another for the way that i feel is part of the abdication of self-responsibility of the mind, which I do not allow and accept within myself anymore.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire for my partner to feel good around me, instead of realising and understanding that this fear is stemming from me being afraid that my partner would rather hang with other people if he doesn't feel good around me, not realising and understanding that I am within this supporting the "feel good" polarity construct of the mind, within which one doesn't have to face oneself, because one feels good.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to force my partner to do process so that I wouldn't have to be afraid of him leaving me for chasing his good feelings, instead of writing myself and my fears out and realising that I can only influence myself into not feeling afraid of him leaving and remaining stable no matter what happens between us.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into fear, whenever I see/perceive that my partner is bad mooded and be afraid of him wanting to look for good energy experiences, and be afraid that he would be leaving and coming together with other people behind my back to fill his good energies, instead of realising and understanding that I am projecting something that exists within me, therefore I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the thoughts of me wanting/needing/desiring to fill my good energies with other people and be prepared to lie to my partner and do things that would make me feel good behind his back.

Friday, 28 December 2012

Day 81: Fearing that my partner's ex is trying to separate us again



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into fear, based on memories of past experiences, whenever I see/perceive that my partner's ex is wanting to talk to him in private, because I'm afraid of her wanting to persuade him again into not being with me and being with her instead, instead of realising and understanding that I am allowing my fear as memories of past experiences to direct me, where I am afraid of re-living the emotional turmoil that I have experienced when this happened in the past, and am not directing myself here in breath.

When and as I see myself going into fear of loosing my partner to his ex, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am being directed by fear of my partner repeating the pattern that he has played out in the past with his ex, and leaving me again for her, within which I would feel negative, beaten, powerless, inferior and less than, therefore I release the trigger point of the fear with self-forgiveness and do not allow my fears to direct me, but I direct myself in breath towards what is best for all.

I commit myself to through writing and self-corrective application stop and remove all fears of my partner being taken over by his ex again, because I realise and understand that when I am being directed by this fear, I am actually fearing 'loosing face' in front of other people due to my perception that I have made the wrong decision, when I decided to give my partner another chance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of 'loosing face' in eyes of other people, if my partner was to leave me for his ex again, instead of realising and understanding that I am participating within a polarity construct of my mind, where I will feel superior and more than, when I perceive that other people see me to be in partnership with my partner, and I will feel less than and inferior, when I perceive that other people perceive me to not be in partnership with my partner and have 'lost' my partner to his ex again, not realising and understanding that I am feeling defeated and inferior from within, and allowing myself to be influenced by whether I am in a partnership or not.

When and as I see myself becoming afraid of 'loosing face' in the eyes of others in terms of me being in a relationship with my partner or not, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am participating within a mind polarity construct of validating myself according to my perception of other people's perceptions of me, therefore I release the trigger point of the fear with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath towards what is best for all.

I commit myself to through writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application stop and remove all fears and perceptions of how other people perceive me in terms of being in a relationship/agreement with my partner, because I realise and understand that I am compromising myself within this, and my expression is not being directed by me, but by my fears.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive my partner as a weaker person than his ex and someone who could easily succumb to her manipulations, instead of realising and understanding that these definitions are based in memories of past experiences, where instead of seeing my partner as he is now, I am fearing that he is still the way he used to be, not realising and understanding that by allowing this fear to direct me, I am compromising myself and my interaction with my partner.

When and as I see myself perceiving my partner as unable to stand up to his ex's manipulations of cuteness and sadness, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am participating within a mind memory construct, and am not acknowledging what is here, therefore I release the trigger point of the perception with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath according to what is here towards what is best for all.

I commit myself to through writing and self-forgiveness and self-corrective application stop and remove all perceptions of my partner based in memories, because I realise and understand that he is walking the same process of change that I am walking, and is not the same person that he used to be in the past, and by allowing my memories of past experiences to direct and influence my perception of my partner, I am compromising myself and our agreement and communication.

Thursday, 27 December 2012

Day 80: Banking Apostols



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/define bank employees as superior to me because they handle money and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior to bank employees and define/perceive them as gods that handle the life essence as money in this world and have power and influence over me because of that, because I perceive and define them as people that have my life, my well-being and my survival as money at the palm of their hand, instead of realising and understanding that bank employees are people equal to myself, and that they hold absolutely no power over me, I am only giving my power away to them by giving in to such thoughts of them being superior to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that bank employees hold power over me because they handle my money, instead of realising and understanding that by participating within such thoughts, I have given my power away to them within my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive bank employees as people with more responsibility, because they handle money, which I have defined as the life essence that makes everything move in this world and an absolute necessity for survival, instead of realising and understanding that I have within my mind made money my god and the bank employees the messengers of god, not realising and understanding that within this I have absolutely disregarded the physical reality of Life and that Life does not need money to survive and live.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that I have to be respectful towards bank managers, because they can at any moment fuck with me by not giving me my money to survive, instead of realising and understanding that I have generated this beLIEf within myself about bank employees and managers and within this I have directly given my power away to them and made this part of my perceptual reality, where i will feel and act inferior and less than the bank employees and fear being at their disposal and their whims, which I will want to compensate with exerting superiority towards them on a personal level and outsmart them and outwit them with my intellect.

When and as I see myself feeling and perceiving myself as unequal to the bank managers and employees, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I have created this feeling and perception within myself, because I have defined them as more than me because they handle money - the god of all gods, the means of survival within this world - therefore I release the feelings and thoughts with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath and equality.

I commit myself to through writing and self-forgiveness and self-corrective application stop and remove any and all perceptions that I have towards bank employees and managers, and perceive them as equal human beings, because I realise and understand that all of my perceptions and definitions of people who work in the bank are coming from my symbol-based thought patterns that I have built up towards money as the means of survival and living within this world.

Wednesday, 26 December 2012

Day 79: Judging myself through my perceptions of my partner's perceptions of me






I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to feel appreciated and more than and positive through my partner wanting to cuddle with me on his own, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior, less than and negative, when I perceive that my partner doesn't want to cuddle with me on his own.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire for my partner to show me appreciation by wanting to cuddle with me on his own, instead of realising and understanding that I am validating myself with my partner's feelings towards me, not realising and understanding that I am participating within a mind polarity construct, where I will feel positive, more than and superior, when I perceive that my partner likes, loves and appreciates me by wanting to cuddle with me, talk to me and spend time with me, and will feel negative, less than and inferior, when I perceive that my partner doesn't like, love and appreciate me, because he doesn't want to cuddle with me, talk to me and spend time with me.

When and as I see myself wanting to validate myself through my perception of my partner's feelings for me, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am simply participating within an energetic mind construct, within which I will create energy for my mind to survive as ego through separating myself within myself through judging and validating myself negatively through my partner's response to me, therefore I will release the trigger point of wanting to validate myself through my partner's feelings/responses towards me and i will direct myself towards writing out and clearing my starting point.

I commit myself to stop validating and valuing myself through my perceptions of my partner's feelings towards me and his responses towards me, because I realise and understand that I am within this making my partner responsible for the way I experience myself, within which I am abdicating my self-responsibility.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that my weight is a consequence of a system, and therefore I cannot loose it no matter what I do, instead of realising and understanding that I am compromising myself with this belief and giving into hopelessness and powerlesness to do anything about it, and rendering myself unwilling to even try to assist and support my body to come to an optimal weight in which I would be able to move and run normally and without strain.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become angry, spiteful, resentful, annoyed and frustrated, whenever I hear people talking what I perceive to be shit about fat people and immediately go into a defensive stance of fat people that they are victims of a system, not realising and understanding that I'm actually protecting and defending myself and victimising myself within this, thus rendering myself unable to do anything about my body's weight.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to mourn and cry over my body's constitution and act towards other people in a way to show that it is not fair that I am overweight, instead of realising and understanding that I am doing so, because I have not completely accepted myself the way I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react with anger and frustration and sadness, whenever I look at myself in the mirror, or whenever I am touching my body, and think/believe/perceive that the fat I am touching should not be there, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give into fantasies of how it would be, if I didn't have so much excess weight, instead of realising and understanding that I am participating within a mind polarity construct, where I am separating myself from myself through judging and comparing my physical appearance and my body's weight, and I will feel less than, inferior and negative, when I think about my weight, I will go into a state of victimising myself, when I think about my weight, and I will want to loose weight in order to stop feeling that way, with which I will compromise my body by utilising it's physical substance in order to generate these thoughts, and I will further harm it by forcing it to loose weight in order for me to stop generating these thoughts within myself, instead of dealing with the thoughts directly through and with self-forgiveness.

When and as I see myself becoming frustrated or feeling any kind of energetic reaction to the way my body looks and feels, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am compromising myself by participating within a mind polarity construct of comparison and competition regarding looks with myself and other people, therefore I release the trigger point and origin of the thoughts with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that I will not be able to loose weight until I write out my relationships with my father and men entirely, instead of realising and understanding that I am limiting myself and making myself unable to care for my body now through these beliefs and thoughts, and I am abdicating my responsibility towards it to some event in the future, where I believe that the weight loss is going to happen miraculously after writing myself out without me having to do anything about it.

I commit myself to through self-forgiveness and self-corrective application stop and remove any and all thought patterns that I have about my weight, because I realise and understand that by having thoughts/beliefs/perceptions - I am powering my mind to exist as ego and I am making my weight to be a part of my personality, instead of directing myself in breath here in the physical.

I commit myself to assist and support my body to the fullest in discovering and learning what it is that my body needs for it to function optimally and remove all self-judgement about it with self-forgiveness, because I realise and understand that I have been abusing my body throughout my lifetime within trying to get it and mould it into a shape that I perceive other people would like, instead of assisting and supporting it for it to assist and support me and become a living expression of myself in this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of my lips becoming old and dried out, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive my lips to be supple and nice and be afraid of loosing that suppleness and niceness, instead of realising and understanding that I am participating within a mind beauty polarity construct, where I will compare my lips to those of other girls/people, and will feel inferior to girls that I perceive to have nicer lips than me, and will feel superior to girls that I perceive that I have nicer lips than them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that my process will be sped up by me changing cells and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to shed cells as quickly as possible in order for me to get new cells that will be less "corrupt" than the old cells, not realising and understanding that this will not help or assist me in any way, if I do not do process all the time and write out the constructs continuously, as the constructs that I have not written out will simply repeat themselves in my newly formed cells.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes is harming my skin and drying it out, making it look old and dry and wrinkled, instead of realising that I am participating within a mind polarity construct, where I will feel negative and less than and inferior, when I perceive my skin to be older than that of other women, and will want/need/desire to have younger looking skin, and will want to feel positive, more than and superior to other women by having younger looking skin, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to stop my ageing process through Process and make myself look young forever, and I also forgive myself for connecting and equating drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes to the process of skin-ageing, and thinking/believing/perceiving that it is the main cause of my skin ageing thus always having this in the back of my mind, when I drink coffee and smoke cigarettes.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect and equate peeing and pooing to loosing weight, which I connected when I was weighing myself and when my mom told me that I have to weigh myself after pooing, because then the scale would give a more realistic figure, not realising and understanding that within this I have started to identify and equate myself with a number that I saw on the scale, making it the primary cause of the way that I would feel, thus creating a mind polarity construct, in which I would feel negative, less than and inferior, whenever the number on the scale would be more than 50-55 kilograms, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to have 50-55 kilograms, which I have defined and perceived to be my ideal weight.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become happy and start feeling positive and hopeful that I will loose weight, whenever I feel that I am going to pee and poo, because I have connected in my mind that this will mean that the number on the scale will be lower and that my weight will be lower, instead of realising and understanding that I am participating within a completely illogical mind pattern in which I identify myself with the number on the scale, absolutely disregarding the fact that the smaller number on the scale after pooing has nothing to do with me having lost actual fat weight.

When and as I see myself wanting to identify or find out the number of kilograms that I weigh, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am participating within a mind polarity construct that I have built up many years ago through my perceptions/beliefs about the ideal weight of a woman, and will be compromising myself and my body in order to reach that ideal, instead of supporting and assisting my body to make it feel as optimal as possible without worrying about the way it looks or how much it weighs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that thinner bodies are prettier bodies, and define/perceive my own body as not pretty because it is not as thin as those of other girls, instead of realising and understanding that I am participating within a mind polarity construct, in which I will compare my own body to other girls's bodies and feel inferior and less than, when I perceive it to be fatter than those of other girls, and will feel superior and more than, when i perceive it to be less fat than those of other girls.

When and as I see myself comparing my body to those of other girls, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am with this comparison compromising myself by making myself feel a certain way within the comparison, and I am not remaining here as my physical, therefore I release the point of comparison with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.

I commit myself to through self-forgiveness and self-corrective application stop and remove all points of comparison with other girls bodies and faces in terms of looks, because I realise and understand that by having comparing thoughts, I am compromising myself by participating within a polarity comparison construct, thus powering my mind to exist as ego.

Saturday, 22 December 2012

Day 78: The problem with Education

I had trouble with arithmetic. I guess I just got bored with it. I was good at my multiplication tables and long division but I had trouble concentrating on the problems. My teachers and my fellow students carried me along, giving me extra help when I faltered. When I got in the 10th grade and decided to become an engineer and start building rockets, math became much easier for me.
I think it was because I had a reason to learn it. -Homer Hickam, Propulsion Engineer, Spacecraft Design Engineer, Retired Writer



The person I quoted grew up in a small mining town. It was expected of him to become a miner, and he absolutely abhorred that idea. (Who wouldn't? But, fascinatingly enough, his father was passionate about mining, that's why he expected of his son to become a miner as well. Everything that we do in this world is someone's passion, really, hence the progress that we witness today.)
When they launched the Sputnik, the first artificial satellite, he became incredibly fascinated with rockets, and started building his own with some friends. From the quote it is obvious that he never liked math, like so many of us, because before building rockets he never had to really apply it, and was learning it just because it was required of him.

In this system math is crammed down our throats. Not only simple math, but advanced math that most of us that don't work in the field of science will never need. We are learning it simply for the sake of learning it and getting graded, because someone decided that those are the basics, when they're not. Most of us will never need the complex theorems and equations that we learn about in high school, yet, for some reason, we need to pass those as well, just in case we'd choose a calling that requires them, although most of us don't. The quoted person started enjoying math only after he realised that he has to calculate the trajectories and speed and other variables in order to make his rockets work. He was passionate about something, and therefore it wasn't hard for him to learn additional skills that would enhance his application within the field that he was passionate about.

All education should be like this. First we'd have to figure out what we're passionate about, what it is that makes us tick and catches our interest in this world, what it is that we have a knack for. The rest comes naturally.

I remember having a passion like this. I knew everything there was to know about drum and bass music, and if that was an accepted scholar field, I'd be the leading expert in my country, along with so many other friends that shared my passion. I even learned complex sound design methods in order to better understand the artists that I loved listening to. But since this is not an accepted scholar field, I kind of gave up on that passion.

At some point in my life I was equally as passionate about natural biochemical processes of this world, and I tried studying microbiology, but I failed to follow the curriculum of the grading system I caught myself into. Grading should not exist, because it makes us compete, and that becomes the centre of our focus, instead of actually learning about the subject.

That is why I stand as One Vote for an Equal Money System, in which competition and comparison between people will not exist. People will be allowed to find their passion and follow it, be it gardening or rocket science, and there will be no differences in status between the two.

If you understand and agree with what I'm saying, visit http://equalmoney.org/wiki/Education and read up on what the Equal Money System is offering in terms of Education, which is freedom to explore the world and one's own place in it - without survival being a factor. Share the information with others, so that we can stop surviving and start living to our fullest potentials.

Thursday, 20 December 2012

Day 77: High Society



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react with hatred, anger, superiority, indignation and be patronising towards people whom I perceive to be in a higher social class than myself, instead of realising that I am with these reactions trying to compensate for the feelings of inferiority and helplessness that I am feeling towards them, not realising and understanding that with this I am participating within a mind polarityconstruct, where I generate energy for my mind to exist as ego.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to criticise people, whom I perceive to be in a higher social class than myself, and look for fault in them which I could talk shit about, instead of realising that I am compensating with superiority as anger for the feeling of inferiority that I generate within myself around them, because I have defined them to be more powerful than me, not realising and understanding that I have willingly given my power away to my own perception of them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to prove myself as more educated, knowledgeable and classy than people whom I perceive to be of a higher social class than myself, instead of realising that I am with this compensating for my feelings of inferiority that I generate within myself around them, because I envy them their money and perceived power, not realising and understanding that I am participating within a mind polarity construct, where I will try to make myself appear superior to others (whom I perceive to be of a higher social class than me) as a person who is well-behaved, well-mannered, educated in arts and philosophy and science, and will seek out their validation on these points, and will feel superior and more than, when I perceive that I have succeeded, and will feel inferior and less than, when I perceive that I have failed in this mission.

When and as I see myself feeling inferior to people, whom I perceive to be of a higher social class than myself, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I have allowed and accepted myself to categorise people into 'social classes' in my head, and will try to make myself appear as one of them, or at least as one that is worthy to be around them, thus making myself inferior to them by default, instead of recognising and seeing them as equal human beings. Therefore I release the trigger point of this mind construct with self-forgiveness and I direct myself towards the outcome that is equally best for all.

I commit myself to through writing and self-forgiveness and self-corrective application stop and remove any and all classifications of people in my head, because I realise and understand that social classes do not exist in natural, physical reality, but are only a result of my mind's polarity constructs, where I will perceive people with a lot of money to be part of a higher social class than me, and will therefore feel inferior to them, which I will then try to compensate with superiority as anger and criticism, within which I will not be acknowledging them as equal human beings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel superior to people, whom I perceive to have a lot of money, but lack the information and education that I have defined to be necessary in order to be classy and accepted within what I perceive as higher societal circles, which is knowledge that I have picked up from my aunt, instead of realising and understanding that with this knowledge as superiority I am trying to compensate for the feeling of inferiority that I have allowed to exist within me towards people, whom I perceive to have more money, safety and stability than me, and whom I am jealous of because of that.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be jealous of people, whom I perceive to have more money, safety and stability than me, instead of realising and understanding that I am allowing myself to participate within this construct in my mind, and am therefore not acknowledging the actual, physical reality of those people being my equals as human beings, and will within this cause friction as separation between us simply because I will try to make myself appear superior to them, because I feel inferior to what I perceive them to be and have.

When and as I see myself wanting to beat and win over someone that I perceive to have more money than me in this world, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I have created this need within me, because I am somewhere feeling less than and inferior to those people, therefore I release the point of inferiority with self-forgiveness and direct myself within equality and acknowledging those people as equals.

I commit myself to through writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application stop and remove all my perceptions and negativity towards people whom I perceive to be rich/of a higher societal class than myself, because I realise and understand that these are just definitions that I have created and allowed to exist within my mind, not realising that by doing so, I am creating separation as friction between me and another human being.

Sunday, 16 December 2012

Day 76: Judging and blaming myself for alcohol and drug abuse




I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge and blame myself for having escaped my responsibilities by running into drug abuse, and feel inferior and less than and negative about it, which I would then compensate for with taking pride in my knowledge about drugs and drug users, and feel superior and more than and positive, not realising and understanding that I am participating within a mind polarity construct, where I am separating myself from myself through self-judgement and blame and feeling inferior, thus I am generating friction within myself for the creation of energy for my mind to exist as ego, and I am disabling myself from effectively standing up for myself within the system and stabilising myself in it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself and feel bad about myself for having drunk alcohol in the past and perpetuating the sins of those that have gone before me, and feel negative, less than and inferior about myself for having drunk alcohol, instead of realising and understanding that this is because I want to feel superior and more than and positive within being able to say that I have never drunk alcohol because I wanted to feel superior to my parents who drank alcohol, in order to compensate for the general feeling of inferiority that I had towards them all my life because they were bigger and stronger.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel more than and superior to people whom I see drinking alcohol, just because I am not in that moment drinking alcohol, and within this judge other people for drinking alcohol, and blame them for the downfall of our society, not realising and understanding that I am in fact judging myself, because I have drunk alcohol in the past and are feeling guilty and fallen for it, instead of realising and understanding that I am compensating with judging other people and feeling superior to them for my own past abuse of alcohol and the feeling of inferiority that I get when I remember that.

When and as I see myself wanting to blame other people for drinking alcohol, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that this is superiority, with which I am trying to make myself better than and more than and superior in my mind to other people, because I have seemingly stopped drinking alcohol, which I have actually stopped within the starting point of wanting to feel superior to other people, therefore I release the point of wanting to blame others for drinking alcohol and clear my starting point, and direct myself in breath within common sense towards what is best for all.

I commit myself to through writing and self-forgiveness stop and remove all points of blame towards other people, because I realise and understand that I am in fact only judging and blaming myself for my past experiences, actions and deeds, for which I feel inferior and less than, and am now trying to compensate for with making myself superior and more than within projecting the judgement and blame onto other people to balance it out for something that I have been doing in the past myself, which is what parents also do to children, when they are trying to prevent them from "repeating their mistakes" and take a superior stance towards drinking alcohol and taking drugs, which they used to do themselves.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry at myself and disappointed with myself and want to give up on myself because I was a potsmoker for so long, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive myself as a long-term potsmoker, instead of realising and understanding that within this self-judgement I am disabling myself from effectively standing up for myself in equality.

When and as I see myself blaming myself and judging myself and feeling inferior because I was a potsmoker, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that feeling inferior about my past will only cause me to want to compensate with a feeling of superiority, which I will exercise in the form of knowledge and information towards others in order to hide the fact that I am ashamed of myself for having smoked pot and inhibiting myself from standing up within myself, therefore I will release the point of judgement and blame towards myself with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath in accordance to what is best for all in the given moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience regret and feel sorry for all the time that I had lost with smoking pot and inhibiting myself with it, instead of realising and understanding that feeling sorry for my past choices, actions and words is not going to change the past and is not going to change the outflow and consequences of my past choices, but will only further inhibit me from standing up within myself and will cause me to timeloop and miss more breaths.

When and as I see myself regretting the time that I have lost in the past with smoking pot and regretting any other choice and action that I made in the past, I stop and I breathe. I realise that regret is part of a polarity timeline construct of the mind, where I will feel inferior and less than, when I perceive that I have been making the "wrong" decisions in my past - which I will regret, and will feel superior and more than, when I perceive that I have been making the "right" decisions in my past - which I will be proud of, and by participating within this construct I am separating myself from myself within self-judgement, thus generating friction to create energy to feed my mind and I will timeloop and loose more breaths by participating within the construct, therefore I will release the point of self-judgement about having lost time with smoking pot with self-forgiveness and direct myself to the task at hand without self-judgement.

I commit myself to through writing and self-forgiveness stop and remove all mind timeline past-future constructs from within me, because I realise and understand that by participating within such constructs, I am only inhibiting myself from effectively directing myself here and am feeding my mind as ego of memories, within which I will experience inferiority and superiority, when I replay them in my head.

Saturday, 15 December 2012

Day 75: "I care and worry about You"





I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project "care" and "worry" for other people, instead of realising and understanding that I am projecting care and worry towards other people in order for them to perceive me as a caring and worrying person, so that they would want to care and worry for me in the future, not realising and understanding that I am doing this within a mind safety/survival polarity construct, where I will want to ensure the help, care and worry of those people in the future, in case I find myself in trouble, instead of realising and understanding that this action of showing "care" and "worry" to others is actually an abdication of my self-responsibility towards a relationship that I am building up for myself through projecting "care" and "worry" towards others and thus ensuring myself their reciprocity in the future.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within projecting "care" and "worry" toward other people make myself in my mind appear to myself as superior, more than, positive and as a good person for "caring" and "worrying" about them, instead of realising that I am doing this, because I am wanting to deceive myself and hide my true starting point for projecting "care" and "worry" towards them, which is self-interest and NOT benevolence.

When and as I see myself projecting "care" and "worry" towards others, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am participating within a mind construct, within which I will want to abdicate my absolute self-responsibility onto a relationship with that person/those people by projecting "care" and "worry" in order to get care and worry from them back in the future, which is a mind timeline construct, and I will even want to hide it from myself and others by lying to myself with feeling benevolent/superior/caring within it. Therefore I will release the point of "care" and "worry" with self-forgiveness and direct myself towards what is best for all participants in the given moment.

I commit myself to through writing and self-forgiveness stop and release all fake projections of caring and worrying about others, because I have realised and understood that those projections are a result of me wanting to feel safe and secure in the future and are part of the survival construct of my mind, where I will nurture and build up relationships that I find to be beneficial to my self-interest and my mind's survival as ego, which I will want to hide behind benevolence and good-heartedness in order for me to not have to look at the ugly reality of me acting in pure self-interest.

Friday, 14 December 2012

Day 74: The age difference between partners




I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to every time I look in the mirror see/perceive the circles under my eyes as ugly and terrible, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a feeling of inferiority and being less than, because I have defined and perceived circles under the eyes to be ugly, unseemly, I have defined them as something that only old women have, therefore I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that other people will define/perceive me as 'old' and not good enough to be with my partner whom I perceive to be considerably younger than me, not realising and understanding that with all these perceptions and definitions - I am only powering my mind as ego through a polarity construct, where I will feel bad, less than and inferior to women whom I perceive to be younger and/or do not have such circles under their eyes, and will feel afraid that my partner does not like me because of the circles under my eyes, and on the flip side I will feel superior and more than women whom I perceive to be older than me and/or have bigger circles under their eyes, and I will feel better about myself in the company of such women, and even start feeling sorry for those women.

When and as I see myself worrying and thinking about the circles under my eyes, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that this is a mind polarity construct of comparison, where I will go into inferiority whenever I look at myself in the mirror and think about my partner, and I will feel bad about myself and afraid that my partner will want to leave me for a younger woman, because I think/believe/perceive that my partner considers me too old to be with him. I realise and understand that it is only me and myself that is generating those thoughts within myself and compromising myself with them, while reality might be entirely different, therefore I release the point that triggered my thoughts about the circles under my eyes, and direct myself in common sense without worrying about the way I look, because I realise and understand that worrying about the way that I look is only my mind wanting to compare and compete with other people, which I do not allow within myself anymore.

I commit myself to through writing and self-forgiveness stop and remove all points of comparison and competition with other people in terms of looks, because I realise and understand that by participating within comparison and competition, I am participating within a mind polarity thought construct, where I will be looking to in my mind win and feel superior to other people in terms of looks, and will feel inferior and less than, when I perceive that I cannot win/am loosing the beauty pageant that I am generating for myself in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that my partner and other people are judging us and perceiving us as incompatible due to our age difference, instead of realising and understanding that it is only me and myself who is judging us and perceiving us as incompatible due to our age difference, because I myself have defined and perceived people in relationships to have to have a minimal age difference between them, not realising and understanding that I am participating within a polarity construct, where I am judging and perceiving couples with small age differences between participants as appropriate, and couples with big age differences between participants as inappropriate, therefore I have defined/perceived myself to be in an inappropriate relationship due to the age difference between me and my partner.

When and as I see myself thinking and worrying about my partner or other people perceiving me and my partner to have a too big age difference between us, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I have created these perceptions and judgements within myself for myself, where I have felt superior to couples which I perceived to have a too big age difference between the participants and judged them as inappropriate, and I have felt inferior to couples which I have perceived to have a smaller age difference than the couple that I am in, therefore I release the thoughts about age differences with self-forgiveness and direct myself in common sense and I do not allow myself to participate in thoughts about the age difference between my partner and myself or how he or other people perceive it.

I commit myself to through self-forgiveness and self-corrective application stop and remove all thoughts and perceptions about relationships between people based on their age, because I realise and understand that by having those thoughts, I am only participating within my mind's mechanism for the creation of energy for my mind to sustain itself, and with this I am abusing my body and allowing my body's substance to be transformed into energy for my mind.

Thursday, 13 December 2012

Day 73: "I'm an upstanding citizen"


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish want need desire to be a policeman, a detective and other kinds of law enforcing worker, because I have in my mind defined and perceived such people to be just, good and correct. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to be perceived by other people as a just, good and correct person who enforces the law, not realising and understanding that the law is set up in a way that abuses life and that I am being the abuser within my mind by wanting to be perceived as this side of the polarity mind construct, because I want to feel superior and more than other people within being defined as just, good and correct.

When and as I see myself wanting to be perceived by other people as just, correct and good at enforcing the law and rules of society, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am participating within a mind polarity construct, where I will feel superior and validated, when I perceive that other people are perceiving me as just, correct and good at enforcing and obeying the law and the rules of society, and on the flip side I will feel negative, less than, inferior and not accepted, when and as I perceive that other people are perceiving me as unjust, incorrect and not good at enforcing and obeying the law and the rules of society, therefore I release the trigger point of wanting to be perceived as more than others in terms of enforcing and obeying the law with self-forgiveness and I direct myself within the principles of what is best for All Life.

I commit myself to stop wanting/needing/desiring to be perceived by others as one that is just, good, correct and more than others in terms of enforcing and obeying the law, because I realise and understand that the law is set up in such a way to protect the system and not Life. Therefore I will release all upcoming thoughts regarding myself in relation to the law with self-forgiveness and direct myself towards and within the principles of what is best for All Life.

Wednesday, 12 December 2012

Day 72: Communication with friends



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within communication with my friends want/need/desire to make myself feel positive, more than and superior, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare and compete with my friends and want/need/desire to win in every conversation that I have with them, therefore always take an opposing stance to what they are saying, not realising and understanding that within this I am creating friction between us as separation, making us unable to effectively communicate and agree on a subject, I am stifling our cooperation and despite my best intentions to make my friends realise what I have realised, I am failing miserably by making them feel inferior with my pursuit of superiority, for which they then have to compensate with their own superiority, and so we are caught in an endless cycle of trying to prove each other to each other and bouncing together and off of each other within our little ego bubbles, and not really hearing what the other person is saying, because I am only looking for key words to which I will reply with 'my own' view and perspective of things, which is not really my own, but learned from another.

When and as I see myself desiring, wanting and needing to 'prove my point' to another, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that this want is coming from my standard search for superiority that I have allowed within myself to compensate for the constant feeling of inferiority that I have also allowed to exist within me, not realising and understanding that I am constantly and continuously participating within this polarity construct in order to generate and create energy for my mind to exist as ego of inferiority and superiority. Therefore when communicating with my friends or any other people, I keep myself in check and not allow myself to want/need/desire to prove anything to anyone, but simply allow myself to express myself in the moment and not compromise my self-expression within my search for superiority.

I commit myself to through writing and self-forgiveness stop and remove my constant search for feelings of superiority, moreness than and positivity, which are stemming from trying to compensate for my constant feelings of inferiority, lessness than and negativity, which I generate by separating myself from myself within self-judgement. I realise and understand that this is the all-encompassing mind polarity construct, within which I have caught myself in an eternal cycle of creating energy for my mind to survive as ego, for which it feeds off of my physical body and transforming my eternal physical substance of the earth into passing, short-lasting bursts of energy, constantly needing more and more energy in order to survive - until I die.


Monday, 10 December 2012

Day 71: "Beat the System"




I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to be seen and perceived by other people as an effective law enforcer, not realising and understanding that I am participating within my mind't polarity construct, where I will feel more than, positive, superior and justified, when and as I perceive myself as one that has 'done the right thing' in terms of abiding the law and/or stopping some perceived 'crime' or 'injustice' from happening, and on the flip side I will feel less than, inferior and like a criminal, when and as I perceive that I have done something that is defined/perceived in this world as 'crime' or 'injustice', where I will all over my body feel the energies of adrenaline rushes, feelings of shame, hope that I will not get caught and ultimately, if I succeed in not being uncovered as a criminal, I will feel victorious in my secret mind as one that has 'beat the system'

When and as I see myself wanting to 'beat the system', I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that by wanting to 'beat the system', I am participating within a mind polarity construct, where I will want to fight the system, because I perceive/define it as unfair and unjust and like I have a right to want to beat it, and I will feel energetically empowered and justified within myself, and on the flip side when I perceive that I will give into the system, I will feel like the system has beaten me, and I will feel inferior to the system and powerless against it, therefore I release the trigger point with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath, because I realise and understand that by wanting to beat the system, I am only empowering the system from within myself, therefore I simply stop fighting the system and embrace it so that I can release and resolve it.

I commit myself to through writing and self-forgiveness stop and remove all points of energetic friction towards the system, because I realise and understand that by creating friction towards the system, I am separating myself from the system and all that is here, and with this I am disabling myself from being able to embrace, amalgamate with and change the system, but am only powering the system, which gives the opposite result of the intended one.

Sunday, 9 December 2012

Day 70: Supporting my partner




I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become angry with my partner and become insulted, when and as I see and perceive that he is not willing to see the points that I am showing him and is resisting them, instead of realising and understanding that he is resisting them because I am angry thus superior and insulted thus inferior, which means that I am showing him points energetically from within my mind's polarity construct and not from within breath and equality.

When and as I see myself reacting energetically to my partner not seeing things the way I see them, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that the discrepancy in our perceptions and consequential conflict is a result of my skewed perception coming from a polarity construct of my mind, where I am not breathing and being here, but wanting to prove something and feel superior, and I will not achieve anything by trying to push my perception onto my partner, because I will only create separation as friction, therefore I firstly release my own energetic points about the subject with self-forgiveness and then explain to my partner how and what I have realised about the situation that he/we are in.

I commit myself to stop and remove all patterns of wanting to feel superior when I am supporting my partner, because I realise and understand that this is not support but a search for validation, which is coming from some feeling of inferiority, therefore I will investigate the polarity construct within myself before talking to my partner, and talk to him only after I have dealt with the energetic aspect of the subject within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to threaten my partner that I will leave if he doesn't agree with me, and blame him and judge him as one that is not willing to do process, whenever I perceive that he is resisting the points that I am showing him, instead of realising and understanding that I am acting energetically, and within doing so, I am only deepening the abyss between us and creating more fear within him through my superior stance and thus making communication between us virtually impossible.

When and as I see myself wanting to scare my partner into doing process by telling him that I will leave, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that by scaring my partner I am only inhibiting him more from wanting to face himself, because I am activating survival and defence within him, thus manifesting the opposite of what I intended, therefore I release my own energetic point that triggered me into wanting to scare my partner, and afterwards make sure that I approach talking to him clearly and openly without energies in breath.

I commit myself to stop and remove any and all energetic desire to support my partner, because I realise and understand that any point of supporting my partner that comes from a desire/want/need for him to understand something will only create more separation and friction between us, because it is coming from my self-interest and the point is not being clearly communicated in equality.

Saturday, 8 December 2012

Day 69: Wanting my partner's friends and family to like me



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for past indiscretions and violent behaviour towards my partner, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior and less than and guilty for having been violent towards my partner in the past, instead of realising that with this I am participating within a timeline polarity construct, within which I will feel inferior and less than when I perceive that my partner is judging me and blaming me for my past acts of violence towards him, and I will feel neutral/positive when I perceive that my partner is not judging and blaming me for my past acts of violence towards him.

When and as I see myself judging and blaming myself for my past acts of violence towards my partner, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that judging and blaming myself for my past acts of violence towards my partner is not going to correct the past, because the past does not exist anymore - I can only direct myself towards what is best for both of us in this breath. Therefore I release the trigger point of judging and blaming myself for my past acts of violence towards my partner with self-forgiveness and do not allow myself to have any kind of violent reactions towards him within myself, because I realise and understand that with them I am making myself superior, more than and bossy, thus creating friction and separation within myself and between me and my partner and not allowing myself/us to openly communicate and cooperate, but am creating fear and distrust.

I commit myself to through writing and self-corrective application stop and remove all violent thoughts from within me, because I realise and understand that with allowing violent thoughts to exist within me, I create fear, resistance and separation, instead of equality, therefore when and as I see myself having violent thoughts and feeling the energies of violent thoughts in my chest and stomach area and my muscles tightening from them, I will immediately stop, breathe, investigate and remove the thoughts and patterns with which I have allowed myself to generate violent thoughts within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react with inferiority and feel guilty and ashamed in front of my partner's friends and family, when and as I see and perceive that they are holding on to memories of my past violent acts towards my partner and are judging/blaming me for it. I realise and understand that this is due to me judging myself and generating judgement and blame towards myself within myself, and has nothing to do with how other people perceive me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to prove myself as a 'changed person' to my partner's family and friends, instead of realising that within this I am wanting to validate myself through my perception of their opinion of me, thus I am participating within a polarity mind construct, where I will feel superior and more than and positive, when I perceive that my partner's family/friends are accepting me and are not judging me for my past acts of violence towards my partner, and I will feel inferior, less than and negative, when I perceive that my partner's friends/family are judging/blaming me for my past acts of violence towards my partner, thus I am creating separation within myself by wanting to be perceived by my partner's friends and family as 'good' and feeling 'bad', when I perceive that my partner's friends/family are perceiving me as 'bad', which I will want to compensate by projecting superiority with which I will want to achieve my partner's friends/family to perceive me as good enough for me to be with my partner.

When and as I see myself wanting/needing/desiring for my partner's friends and family to perceive me as 'good enough to be with him', I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am wanting to validate myself through the eyes of my partner's friends and family, for which I will be ready to compromise my self-expression and adjust it to what I perceive my partner's friends and family would approve of and find ok, which will be a projection of superiority, false modesty, I will want to present myself as highly educated and intelligent and pretty, and I will stop myself from talking about things that I perceive they might perceive as 'negative' in order to not cause them to dislike me and not approve of me. Therefore I will immediately remove my desire/want/need to be preceived by my partner's family and friends and other people as 'good' with self-forgiveness and I will not allow myself to adjust my self-expression to what I perceive they would like to hear and see.

I commit myself to through self-forgiveness and self-corrective application stop adjusting my self-expression to what I perceive other people would like in me, because I realise and understand that by wanting other people to like me - I am compromising my self-expression and my standing for equality by not talking about 'problems', because I wouldn't want to make people feel bad by making them aware of the problems in the world in order for them to feel good in my company and like me and want to be my 'friends' and want to help me in the future in case I need their help. I realise and understand that by adjusting my self-expression to other people - I am abdicating my self-responsibility in this world and hoping that other people will be responsible for me if they like me, and I am compromising my standing for equality and diminishing my application and manifestation of equality.