Friday, 27 December 2013

Day 180: Holding a grudge


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold a grudge towards my partner/parents/siblings/family/friends/other people, whenever I perceive that they have hurt me, instead of realising and understanding that I am participating within the victimisation construct of my mind and I am not taking absolute self-responsibility for how I experience myself in every moment. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to have revenge on the people whom I held a grudge against, instead of realising and understanding that by doing so, I am living in the past and giving in to my mind's energetic fluctuations, and am not stable here, directing myself in breath.

When and as I see myself holding a grudge against anyone and perceiving that they have hurt me or somehow wronged me, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am in that moment abdicating my self-responsibility for how I experience myself through participation within a victimisation mind construct, therefore I release the trigger point and thought pattern with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath within the realisation that I solely am responsible for how I experience myself in every moment.


I commit myself to through writing and self-forgiveness and self-corrective application stop and remove all my victimisation constructs and consequential grudges and quarrels, because I realise and understand that those are a consequence of me not taking absolute responsibility for how I experience myself in every moment, and I realise and understand that I am in fact absolutely responsible for the energetic reactions that I myself create within the bounds of my physical body.

Wednesday, 25 December 2013

Day 179: "Sharing is polite"


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react with frustration, anger, annoyance, disbelief and sadness, whenever my partner/someone else doesn't offer me any of what they are having.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that whenever someone/my partner is having something that can be shared, they automatically have to offer me some.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that I must always offer other people whatever it is that I am having.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/define offering people whatever I am having as polite.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive myself as a polite person.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel guilty whenever I do not offer someone whatever it is that I am having, when I want to have all of it for myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience a sense of loss, whenever I am having something that I like, and I see/perceive that other people want some of it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel  forced to offer other people something that I am having, and within this experience a sense of loss, whenever I want to have all of it to myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive certain items in life as my favourites and want/need/desire to have all of them to myself.
When and as I see myself wanting to have something only to myself, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am participating within my mind's construct about that thing, where I have defined it as something good, better, superior, and thus want to have it all to myself, therefore I investigate the trigger point and thought patter with writing, release it with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath within the realisation that I do not deserve or need all of whatever it is that I was wanting only for myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive people who do not offer others whatever it is that they are having as impolite and rude.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel guilty and embarrassed about not offering other people whatever it is that I am having.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive the act of sharing as a benevolent, polite and superior act, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive myself as a good person, whenever I am sharing something with other people, instead of realising and understanding that I am participating within my mind's polarity construct of perceptions that whomever shares is a good person, and whomever doesn't share is a bad person.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to share things with other people from the starting point of wanting to be perceived as a good/benevolent/nice/polite person, instead of sharing from the starting point of doing onto another what I want to be done onto myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire for other people to perceive me as a good person because I share stuff with them, not realising and understanding that I am actually buying their affection.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to buy other people's affection by sharing things with them.
When and as I see myself wanting to share something with other people within the starting point of wanting to be perceived as a good person, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am participating within my mind's energetic construct, where I define people who share as good and friendly, and therefore want to share to be perceived by others as good and friendly, so that I might enjoy the same reciprocity from them in the future, therefore I release the trigger point and thought pattern with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath and do not allow myself to buy other people's affection and friendship with sharing things.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, whenever I am sharing something with others, expect the same from them in the future, and then be disappointed, angry, frustrated, resentful and sad, whenever my expectations are not fulfilled.
When and as I see myself expecting someone to share something with me because I have shared something with them in the past, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am participating within my mind's polarity construct of wanting to have a favour returned, which means that I did the sharing in the first place in order to have it returned, and not as an expression of equality, therefore I release the trigger point and thought pattern with self-forgiveness and I direct myself in breath without expecting anyone to give me anything, because I realise and understand that I am responsible for providing for myself whatever I require.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/define the act of sharing as a favour to whomever I am sharing with, not realising and understanding that I am doing so, because I have attached a value, monetary or other value, to whatever it is that I am sharing.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel superior when I am sharing because I perceive that I have put effort and work into acquiring whatever it is that I am sharing, and therefore should be respected and thanked for sharing, and that the people whom I am sharing with should share with me in the future. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, when being thanked for sharing, feel awkward and wave the thanker away with "it's nothing", when I in fact do not feel that it is nothing, but expect the thanker to share something of theirs with me in the future.