Monday, 19 November 2012

Day 55: Removing Jealousy - part four

Today I was quite disturbed, when my partner wasn't around to talk to, and I wrote out the self-forgiveness statements bellow in a moment of "great distress" and fear, so they might be a bit quirky, because I wanted to rid myself of these terrible energies asap.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react with fear of loss, fear of the unknown and fear of not having control over my partner, when/as I see/perceive that my partner doesn't want to talk to me/isn't there for me to talk to, instead of realising and understanding that I am participating within a mind polarity construct, where I will feel good, whenever I have my partner at my disposal to talk to because I will perceive that I have control over the situation and my partner, and I will feel bad/inferior/afraid of loosing control over my partner, whenever my partner is not there for me to talk to and I will go into all sorts of fear dimensions, such as my partner not wanting to talk to me, my partner being manipulated by other women into not talking to me.

When and as I see myself reacting emotionally to my partner not being at my disposal to talk to, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am reacting because I want to feel in control of my partner in order for me to feel superior and feel good within being able to talk to my partner all the time, and I will feel scared/inferior and less than, when my partner is not there to talk to, therefore I release the trigger point of my reaction with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.


I commit myself to stop any and all points of wanting to have control over my partner, because I realise and understand that I am wanting to control my partner, because I perceive that by having control over my partner, I have control over my future, therefore I will remove all such points with self-forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to manipulate men/my partner into not talking to other women, because I want to hold on to them and emotionally manipulate them into being with me/prevent them from considering other partners/ have them as a reserve point for myself in the future, instead of realising that I am doing this from the mind construct of fear of loss of my partner/reserve point for myself in the future. I realise and understand that with wanting to have a reserve point for sex and safety in the future, I am manipulating myself into abdicating my self-responsibility by going into future projections/dimensions in my mind, where I will want to ensure myself safety and comfor and sex in the future, instead of remaining here in breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become worried, whenever my partner is not around for me to talk to, and start explaining to myself in my mind what might have happened in order to comfort myself and compensate for the bad feeling that I am generating within myself when my partner is not around for me to talk to, instead of realising that within this I am fearing loosing my good feeling that I generate within myself when I talk to my partner, and fearing loosing him as a stability point for myself in the future, not realising and understanding that with this I am separating myself from myself within thinking that I need a partner to have stability in the future and generating friction to create energy for my mind to survive as ego.

When and as I see myself becoming worried whenever my partner is not readily available for me to talk to, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I will react with fear because my mind is fearing loosing control over my partner and the situation and go into all sorts of paradnoid projections such as other girls having manipulated my partner into not talking to me for the reason of themselves making themselves appear more than and superior to me, instead of realising that I am participating within the construct of competition and comparison with other women, where I will feel good/superior/more than when I preceive that my partner would rather talk to me than other women, and I will feel inferior/less than/bad when I perceive that my partner would rather talk to other women than me.

When and as I see myself feeling superior/inferior to other women that my partner participates with and talks to, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am participating within a polarity construct of my mind in order to through separating myself from myself within these feelings create friction/energy for my mind to survive as ego, therefore I release the thougths/feelings with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.


I commit myself to through writing and self-corrective application release all points of comparison and competition to other women that my partner participates with and talks to, and all points of superiority/inferiority towards them, because I realise and understand that by participating within such constructs in my mind, I am generating energy for my mind to survive as ego.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel insecure and frightened that my partner is in the process of becoming partners with another girl, whenever he is not there to talk to me, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be reluctant to talk to my partner and communicate the whole truth of myself to him, whenever I become more interested in another man than my partner.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when my partner is not around for me to talk to - in my mind make scenarios and guesses about what could have happened that my partner is not there for me to talk to, and go into fear and inferiority and feeling bad and less than, because my partner is not there for me to talk to, instead of realising and understanding that I am participating within a mind construct within which I generate fear within myself to feed my mind as ego, and I will feel relieved when my partner becomes available for me to talk to, and make myself feel like everything is ok again.


When and as I see myself generating fear within myself when my partner is not around to talk to, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am participating within a polarity construct of my mind, where I want to have control over my partner by talking to him, by which I am trying to ensure my future with him in terms of being with him and living with him and having financial support from him, and will feel inferior and less than, when I perceive that those things are in jeopardy when he is not around to talk to me, therefore I release the fear with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish for my partner to come back and as soon as possible to be available for me to talk to, so that I could feel comforted and rest assured that everything is fine again or manipulate him into acting/behaving so that I could make myself feel good and rest assured that everything is fine between us again, instead of realising that with this I am compromising myself, becuase I am making myself dependent on my partner/I am giving my power away to my perception of him in order to make myself feel good and generate good feeling within myself about us being together, not realising and understanding that within this I am participating within a polarity construct of my mind, where I feel scared of loosing my partner when he is not around for me to talk to (because when I talk to him I perceive that I have control over him and the situation and feel superior and more than), and I will feel safe and secure and assured that I will not loose my partner, whenever he is around to talk to.


When and as I see myself wishing/wanting to communicate with my partner, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that this want/desire is stemming from me wanting to have control over what my partner is doing and manipulating him into directions that I want him to go into in my self-interest, therefore I release the trigger point of the desire with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.


I commit myself to through writing and self-forgiveness release all points of wanting to have control and wanting to be able to manipulate my partner in my self-interest, because I realise and understand that by wanting to have control and wanting to be able to manipulate my partner in my self-interest, I am compromising both of us, because I am causing friction as separation within myself to generate energy for my mind to survive as ego through superiority as the perception of control over my partner, and I am causing separation between us by making myself superior to my partner within this, with which I put him into an inferior position, and am not considering and regarding him as an equal.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel safe/secure, good about myself and superior and more than, whenever I perceive that my partner is showing me that he likes me and wants to be with me, instead of realising that I am participating within a polarity construct where on the flip side I will feel bad about myself, insecure, unsafe, inferior and less than, whenever I perceive that my partner is disliking me and wants to leave me, within which I am separating myself from myself and all that is here by generating friction within myself for the creation of energy for my mind to survive as ego.


When and as I see myself feeling good in relation to my partner, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that this is me participating in my mind's relationship construct, where I will define/perceive my partner as special/more than/superior to other people to then make myself feel superior and more than for being in a partnership with him, thus separating myself from myself and all that is here in order to make myself experience more of myself as positivity and good feelings, with which I create friction within myself for the creation of energy for my mind to survive as ego, and I am not regarding my partner as an equal, but as 'special', which turns into the oposite polarity of hatred towards my partner, when he doesn't behave in ways that make me generate these good feelings within myself


I commit myself to through writing and self-corrective application stop and remove any and all feelings of both polarities towards my partner, and walk the process of birthing life from the physical with him as an equal until this is done

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