Day 62: "You don't care for me if you don't do as I say"

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of separating myself from my partner because of my fear that he might succumb to other women's manipulations, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior and less than when and as I see/perceive that my partner doesn't want to come with me in order to keep my mind appeased, instead of realising and understanding that I am participating in a mind pattern of relationships, where I will feel superior and more than, when my partner is willing to come with me and show me that he is not interested in other women, and I will feel inferior and less than and threatened, when and as my partner is not wiling to give me the reasurance that he is not interested in other women.

When and as I see myself wanting my partner to be with me all the time, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am participating in a mind construct, where I feel threatened, and I want to have control over my partner's whereabouts so that he wouldn't succumb to other women's manipulations, therefore I release the point with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.

I commit myself to through writing and self-forgiveness stop and remove all emotional dependency on my partner.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior and less than, whenever I see/perceive that my partner is not willing to prove himself to me, instead of realising and understanding that I am participating in a mind construct, where on the flip side I will feeel superior and more than, when I perceive that my partner is willing to commit to me and prove to me that he is commited.

When and as I see myself feeling inferior around my partner, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that this is me feeling insecure because I  am not getting the validation from my partner that my mind needs in order to feel superior, more than and positive around him, therefore I release the point with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.

Competing with other women

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare to other women in terms of looks and being attractive to my partner, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compete with other women in terms of looks and being attractive to my partner, instead of realising and understanding that I am participating within a polarity construct, where I will feel more than and superior and positive, if I see and perceive that my partner is valuing me more than other women, and will feel less than and inferior and negative, when/as I see/perceive that my partner is not willing to give me the validation that he is valuing me more than other women, not realising and understanding that I am with this separating myself within myself through feeling inferior and needing my partner's validation as 'good enough' and 'attractive enough' with which I am causing friction within myself to generate energy for my mind to survive as ego.

When and as I see myself wanting validation from my partner as 'good enough'/'attractive enough', I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that by participating withing these thoughts, I am separating myself from myself and powering my mind to exist as ego, therefore I release the trigger point with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.

I commit myself to through writing and self-forgiveness stop and remove all need for validation from my partner, because I realise and understand that I am me, I do not need other people to validate me, because that is an ego point of separation and not self-direction in equality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear of my partner being manipulated by other people into not being with me to exist within and as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as the fear of my partner being persuaded and talked into not being with me by other people, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as the fear of my partner leaving me for another woman, not realising and understanding that with this fear I am separating myself from myself by juding my partner as unable to resist other women's manipulations, thus I am generating energy form y mind to survive as ego.

When and as I see myself not trusting my partner to be able to resist other women's manipulations and succumbing to them, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am participating within a polarity construct, where I feel insecure and threatened by other women's appearance and attractiveness, when my partner is not willing to do as I say, and will feel superior and more than and positive and secure, whenever my partner is willing to do as I say, therefore I release the point of not trusting my partner which is a point of not trusting myself, and I direct myself in breath.

I commit myself to through self-forgiveness and writing and self-corrective application stop and remove all distrust towards my partner from within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive and define myself as seen by my partner as inferior to thin women in terms of looks and attractiveness, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to get validation from my partner that this is not true, not realising and understanding that I have created this perception/belief myself, and am now asking my partner to prove me wrong, which is a polarity construct of the mind, within which I will feel positive, morethan and superior, whenever I get validation from my partner that I am pretty, and will feel negative, less than and inferior, whenever I perceive that my partner is not validating me as pretty.

When and as I see myself needing/wanting/desiring for my partner to validate me as pretty, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am participating within a polarity construct with which I power my mind through other people's validation and feeling inferior and superior, therefore I release the trigger point of wanting validation with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire for my partner to prove to me that he cares about me by coming with me wherever I want him to come and by doing things that I want him to do, instead of realising and understanding that with this I am participating in a mind construct, within which I generate power form y mind as ego through feeling inferior, when my partner does not comply with my demands, and feeling superior, when he does comply with my demands.

When and as I see myself wanting proof from my partner that he cares about me, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that with this I am limiting myself and powering my mind as ego, therefore I release the point with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.

I commit myself to throug writing and self-forgiveness stop and remove all need/want/desire form myself for proof from my partner that he cares about me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel superior and more than and positive, whenever I see/perceive that my partner is dependent on me and needs me, and feel  inferior and less than and negative, whenever I see/perceive that my parnter is not interested in me and that he doesn't need me, instead of realising and understanding that I am participating within a mind polarity construct, with which I am through creating separation as friction within myself powering my mind as ego.

When and as I see myself feeling superior when I perceive that my partner needs me and feeling inferior when I perceive that my partner doesn't need me, I stop and I breathe. I realise that this is a relationship construct of the mind, with which I am powering myself to exist as ego, therefore I release the trigger point with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.

I commit myself to through writing and self-forgiveness stop and remove all points of wanting to perceive my partner to be needing me, because I realise and understand that by participating within such constructs, I am causing separation within myself to power myself as ego, and creating separation between myself and my partner and stiffling our communication.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel insulted and inferior, whenever I perceive that my partner doesn't want to do as I say, not realising and understanding that I am playing a power game, where I want to win over my partner in order to feel wanted, superior and more than, with which I am creating separation betwen us and disabling our open and honest comunication.

When and as I see myself feeling insulted by my partner not wanting to comply with my demans, I stop and I breathe.  I realise and understand that with this I am playing a power game and participating within a relationship construct of the mind, within which I will on the flip side feel superior and wanted and cherished, when my partner is willing to comply with my demands, therefore I release the trigger point with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.

I commit myself to through writing and self-forgiveness stop and remove all validation of myself through my partner's actions and statements.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that my partner doesn't care for me, when he doesn't do as I say, and that he does care for me when he does do as I say, not realising and understanding that with this I am playing into a polarity construct of the mind with which I generate friction for my mind to exist as ego.

When and as I see myself thinking that my partner doesn't care for me, if he doesn't do as I say, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that within this I am perpetuating the energy power play of the mind, therefore I release the trigger point with self-forgiveness, and I direct myself in breath.

I commit myself to through writing and self-forgiveness stop and remove any and all points of wanting to be able to get validation from my partner that he cares for me, because I realise and understand that I am trying to care for myself through proving to myself that he cares for me, instead of allowing myself to care for myself directly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to have an agreement with my partner from the starting point of wanting to get back at the women that I perceive have taken him away from me, instead of realising and understanding that with this I am participating within a polarity construct of the mind, where I want to compensate for my past feelings of inferiority towards them by feeling superior to them now that I have apparently 'won' and my partner wants to be with me more than with them.

When and as I see myself feeling powerful and like a winner over other women, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that with this I am powering myself to exist as ego, therefore I release the point of feeling superior to them with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.

I commit myself to through writing and self-forgiveness release all points of feeling like a winner or a looser, because I realise and understand that with this power play I am only causing separation within myself and between people in my world, thus rendering us unable to communicate effectively and cooperate.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to get validation from my partner and see/perceive that he wants to be with me in order to feel superior within myself about it, instead of realising and understanding that I am participating within a polarity construct, where I will on the flip side feel negative and inferior, whenever I perceive that my partner doesn't care about being with me or not, thus generating power for my mind to exist as ego.

When and as I see myself wanting to get validation and assurance from my partner that he wants to be with me, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am limiting myself through wanting validation from my partner as being good enough for him to want to be with me,  therefore I release the trigger point with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.

I commit myself to stopping and removing my need for validation through perceiving that my partner wants to be with me, because I realise and understand that with this I am only supporting myself to survive as ego of feeling superior and inferior in relation to my partner.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to work towards separating my partner/friends from people that I perceive as 'not good' for them, instead of realising and understanding that within this I make myself superior to others by making myself 'a valid judge' of whether some people are good enough for other people, thus powering my mind as ego through this superiority.

When and as I see myself judging other people as good or not good for other people, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that within participating in this construct, I am making myself superior to others, thus creating separation as friction within myself and my outer world and causing inequality, therefore I release the thought construct of judging people as good or not good to others with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.

I commit myself to stopping and removing all judgements towards other people's relationships from within me, because I realise and understand that with this application I am only causing separation within myself as superiority and creating separation within my world and myself and those people, thus making them inferior to myself and causing inequality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make myself feel superior and more than within judging other people's relationships and perceiving myself as a valid authority to judge whether other people's relationships are good or not, instead of realising and understanding that within this I am causing friction/separation within myself and my outer world and enabling my mind to keep existing as ego.

When and as I see myself judging other people's relationships, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am participating within a mind polarity construct, where I will make myself feel superior and more than when I put myself in the position of being a valid judge to judge other people's relationships, and will try to play out that superiority by talking to other people about their relationships and give my opinion about them, and I will feel superior, when I perceive that those people are agreeing with me, and will feel inferior and less than, when they do not agree with me, therefore I release the construct with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.

I commit myself to through self-forgiveness and self-corrective application stop and remove all points of judging other people's relationships, because I realise and understand that within this application I am only powering my own mind to exist as ego and am causing inequality in my world.

Day 61: Anger towards my partner

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid that other girls/x will try to seduce my partner by having sex with him, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the thought pattern of having sex with men just in order to get their attention and have control over them to exist within me.

When and as I see myself going into fear that x/another girl will try to manipulate my partner into not being with me, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that whatever I am fearing is a projection of a thought pattern that I accept and allow within myself, therefore I release it with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.

I commit myself to stop and remove from myself any and all fears of loosing my partner to other women and causes as thought patterns that I project as those fears with self-forgiveness and self-corrective application.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be/become angry at my partner when/as I see/perceive that he is not commited to our agreement, instead of realising and understanding that with this application I am making myself superior to my partner to compensate for the inferiority as being insulted and taking it personally that he is not commited.

When and as I see myself becoming angry at my partner for not being commited to our agreement, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that this is a polarity construct of my mind, within which I validate myself with  my partner's behaviour and thoughts and actions, and will feel superior and more than when I see/perceive that he is commited to our agreement, and will feel inferior and less than, insulted and not worthy and not cherished and not respected, when I see/perceive that he is not commited to our agreement, with which I create separation within myself as resistance for the creation of friction to generate energy for my mind to survive as ego, therefore I release the construct with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.

I commit myself to stopping and removing any and all points of anger towards my partner, because I realise and understand that with anger I am making myself superior and more than him, with which I create separation within myself to power my mind as ego and between myself and my partner, creating friction and dissonance, which makes us unable to communicate and cooperate.

Day 60: Fear of vlogging/exposing myself

Yesterday and the day before there were demons on the streets of Slovenia's two biggest cities. I'm visiting with my partner in the second biggest city. I was out of milk, so my partner and I went to get some, and on our way to the shop, we had to avoid the demonstrators. There was a police helicopter circling above our heads, and in my throat I could feel the mace that the police used, to break up the emotional hordes of people. I felt like I was in the movie Blade Runner, like I was in a negative sci-fi story, where the oppressed majority is ruled by rarely seen elites that hide in their safe mansions high above the cities. When I was little, I thought that this was fiction, only to grow up into the horrible reality of it all. I successfully avoided this by aenesthetising myself with entertainment and drugs for the longest time, but now I have woken up into a reality that I realise I co-create with my avoidance of it, and it's a bit scary altogether.

As we were walking down the street, we heard people yelling and screaming at the policemen, who are also people, just like everybody else, protecting and defending the rulers for a measly paycheck that is just enough to cover their surviving expenses. They do it in fear of loosing their jobs and ending up without that measly support for survival. Just like everybody else. I had a slight feeling of fear - how to approach all of this? How to make people understand that demonstrations are useless? I -know- how to do this - through blogging and vlogging, but I suddenly had a feeling of 'I'm too small, this is too big'. I am committed to the implementation of the Equal Money System completely and fully, but as I draw timelines into the future, I can only see people fighting me and resisting me due to their egoes - a clear sign that I am fighting and resisting myself still with my own ego. I realise that some day I'll have to become political, I just don't see that happening yet, because so many people are still sleeping and dreaming their american dream of money and safety. I feel alone (inferiority). There is also the problem of me perceiving myself in my mind as some sort of leader, some sort of common sense guru (superiority), because I see that other people are way too limited to realise that demonstrations do not work, and I'm a little scared of the task and not feeling quite up to it (inferiority).

I've been prepraing to make a vlog in my own language about why demons on streets do not work for two weeks now, but I've managed to keep myself occupied with my partner and my own little personal world, and I'm a bit angry at myself and ashamed of myself as well.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that I am too small to take on a subject as big as implementing the EMS, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/define standing for and implementing the EMS as a big and arduous task, instead of realising and understanding that as I change the system within myself, I stand as an example and need to show that standing with vlogging and blogging as much as I can to shorten this process as much as possible.

When and as I see myself doubting myself about being able to convey common sense through my blogging and vlogging, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that with these thoughts I am only sabotaging myself and my application, therefore I release the doubts with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.

I commit myself to blogging and vlogging about all the anomalies of human existence that I see, and within this I commit myself to keep blogging my journey to life as much as I can, because I realise and understand that for my world and the world to change, I must change and stand as an example of that change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior to large groups of people and go into fear of their judgement, when and as I take a stance that is best for all, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that no one will want to listen, because I judge people as beings who are not interested in change, only in pointing out problems and being emotional about it.

When and as I see myself fearing people's judgements towards my standing for what is best for all, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that no one has ever judged me, I have only ever judged myself, therefore I release the point of self-judgement with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.

I commit myself to stopping and removing all self-judgement from myself through writing and self-forgiveness, because I realise and understand that with judgement I am separating myself from myself and all that is here, and am creating friction to generate energy for my mind to survive as ego.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that people might not understand my vlogging, and withing this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate myself with this fear into not making vlogs about what I see, instead of realising and understanding that with this fear I am limiting and compromising not only myself but all people, because I am neglecting my commitment to life to shorten the unnecessary suffering on this planet and am instead entertaining myself with sex, my partner and other people.

When and as I see myself going into fear of vlogging, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that my mind is set up in such a way to keep this currect capitalistic system of slavery going, therefore I release the point of fear with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that people might judge my appearance in my vlogs and within that miss the whole point of what was said, instead of realising and understanding that with such thoughts I am participating within my mind's polarity constructs, where I judge my appearance as inadequate and feel inferior due to it, and then want to compensate for it by getting affirmations from men that I am good looking through playing into the flirting game, and wasting my time, and the polarity construct where I want to feel good/positive/more than when I make a vlog that has a lot of views, and am feeling inferior/negative/less than, when I make a vlog that is not so popular.

I commit myself to stop and remove all thought patterns within myself that I use to manipulate myself into not blogging and vlogging the hell out of this world and spreading common sense, because I realise and understand that if I do not stand up for my world, I cannot expect anyone else to do it.

Day 59: Removing Fear of my partner being manipulated into not being with me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire for my ex partner to be always readily available for me (although I have given up on them and left them) in case I perceive that I cannot get a new partner, and within that emotionally and materially manipulate them into being dependent on me, instead of realising and understanding that within this I am abusing my ex partner and am making myself feel positive/good/superior within the notion that I will always have someone to fall back to if all my other ventures go awry.

When and as I see myself wanting to emotionally and materially manipulate my ex into being dependent on me, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that this is coming from my fear of not being able to get anyone else as a partner in life, therefore I release the trigger point with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.

I commit myself to stopping and removing all manipulation of my ex partners in order to have them as a reserve point in case I fail to create new relationships with new men in my life, because I realise and understand that with this I am only limiting myself with my fears of the future and am limiting other people/my ex partner by playing them out, instead of stopping and removing them from myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of loosing my partner to his ex/other women's  manipulations, within that not trusting him, where this distrust comes from past experiences  of me perceiving that I was hurt, when this happened.

When and as I see myself going into fear of loosing my partner, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that this is the consequence of memories of past experiences that I have not yet dealt with, therefore I release the memories and trigger points with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.

I commit myself to through self-investigation and self-forgiveness stop and remove all fears of loosing my partner within myself, becuase I realise and understand that by allowing those fears to exist within me, I am compromising myself and my self-expression when I am with my partner and x and other people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that x has hurt me in the past by manipulating my partner into leaving me and deciding to be with her, instead of realising and understanding that I myself was/am generating these feelings of being hurt inside me, therefore I have no one and nothing to blame for my own feelings of 'being hurt', but need to take the responsibility to stop and remove these feelings within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that other people are responsible for me generating the feelings of me being hurt within myself, instead of realising that within this I am abdicating my responsibility for energetic reactions that I myself allow to happen inside my body, not realising and understanding that these energetic reactions are of the mind as ego, with which I power and perpetuate the separation within myself and my outer world.

When and as I see myself wanting to blame other people/x for the way I made myself feel in the past, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I generate my own feelings/emotions/reactions, and that I am the creator of my own experience, therefore I release the trigger point of blame with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.

I commit myself to stopping and removing all judgements towards others and all blaming of others for my own experience in this world, because I realise and understand that I am solely responsible for the way that I experience myself in this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold a grudge against x and my partner for the way that they behaved in the past, instead of realising that their behaviour has got nothing to do with me and has not influenced me, I have only ever influenced myself with energetic reactions of the ego to create separation and not have to take responsibility for myself, but rather blame other people for my situation and the way I experience myself within it.

When and as I see myself becoming afraid of my partner and x repeating their patterns of behaviour, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that their behaviour has got nothing to do with me and cannot influence me in any way, I can only influence myself by observing their behaviour and judging it, thus creating separation within myself as friction to generate power for my mind to survive as ego, therefore I release the trigger point of blame and judgement and direct myself in breath.

I commit myself to through writing and self-forgiveness stop and remove any and all judgement and blame that I have allowed myself to have towards x/my partner/other people, because I realise and understand that I have only ever influenced myself with perceptions and beliefs and thoughts about having been wronged, as  I was not physically wronged.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in conversations with my partner use and utilise arguments about the past in order for me to get reassurance from my partner that the past will not repeat itself, thus nurturing and feeding my fear, instead of removing it with self-forgiveness and self-corrective application.

When and as I see myself wanting to bring up past experiences in conversations with my partner in order to get assurance that the past will not repeat itself, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am doing this because I have felt inferior in the past, and now I am wanting to compensate for that by feeling positive/superior within getting reassurace from my partner that the past will not repeat itself, not realising and understanding that I am participating within a polarity-timeline construct of the mind, where I have felt inferior in the past and am now wanting to feel superior/positive through getting/making another human being responsible for that by giving me the reassurance that I want, instead of dealing with the past within myself, thus I am creating friction within myself as the desire for superiority, with which I generate energy for my mind to survive as ego and am abusing my partner while at it, therefore I release the trigger point/memory with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.

I commit myself to stop bringing up past experiences in conversations with my partner, because I realise and understand that by doing so, I am participating in a polarity construct of my mind and am not allowing myself to be Here with my partner, within which I am abusing him as well and am creating separation within myself and between us as energetic ping pong, with which I power my mind as ego.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that my partner is able to repeat his past behaviour, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of my partner repeating the behaviour that he has applied in the past, instead of realising that I am with this participating within a polarity construct of the mind, where I will feel inferior and bad and less than whenever I remember what was happening in the past between us, and will feel superior, more than and good, whenever I get reassurance from him that he will not repeat his behaviour from the past, not realising and understanding that with this I am creating separation as friction for energy as food for my mind to exist as ego.

When and as I see myself wanting to blame my partner for our past experiences together and make him responsible for the way I experienced myself in the past, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I want to blame another human being for my reactions that I myself have accepted and allowed within myself, therefore I am abusing him through blaming and judging him as myself for past experiences and shifting my responsibility for my own acceptances and allowances as reactions onto him, therefore I release the trigger point of wanting to blame and judge him and direct myself in breath.

I commit myself to stopping and removing from myself any and all blame and judgement towards my partner  and x, because I realise and understand that only I am responsible for the way that I experience myself, no one else is, and that by judging and blaming other people for the way that I experience myself means that I am making them responsible for what is going on within me, although they do not have control over my physical body, I do/have that all by myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be/go into fear of people catcing me in an 'indeecent' position on territory that they define as theirs, and then judging and blaming me for my behaviour, not realising and understanding that this point is coming from within, where I perceive that if I catch people on territory that I perceive as mine doing something that I perceive as indeecent, I should be shocked and angry and mad and should go gossip about it with other people, instead of realising that what I allow within myself is aboslutely unacceptable.

When and as I see myself being afraid of other people being overprotective of their territory/things/people, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that this is a point that I have allowed within myself as being territorial, protective of 'my stuff/people' and wanting to have control over territory/things/people that I perceive as mine, so I feel shocked/insulted whenever I see someone doing something that I perceive as wrong on territory that I perceive as mine, not realising and understanding that nothing really is mine except for myself/my physical body, therefore I release the ego point of 'mine' and direct myself in breath.

I commit myself to through self-forgiveness and self-corrective application stop and remove any and all ownership points that I have towards places/things/people.

Day 58: Self-forgiveness on not trusting my partner and my friends

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid that my partner might succumb to his ex gf's/other women's/our friends manipulations when I am not around, instead of realising that this is my mind not trusting my partner and wanting to have constant control over him and what he does, thus not allowing him to stand (up) for himself but wanting to direct him from a point of superiority that I have to do it, which stems fromin fear iority, where if I don't do this, I might loose him, not realising and understanding that I am participating in a polarity relationship construct where I will feel good and superior if I perceive that I get to keep my partner, and feel bad and inferior when I perceive that I might be loosing him, thus generating friction within myself for the creation of energy for my mind to survive as ego.

When and as I see myself fearing loosing my partner, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that this fear is stemming from me not wanting to be absolutely self-responsible, therefore I release the trigger point with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.

When and as I see myself directing myself according to/thinking about past experiences with my partner, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am in a past dimension of the mind, within which I allow myself to influence myself with fear of past experiences repeating themselves, therefore I release the trigger point of the thought pattern with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.

I commit myself to through writing and self-forgiveness stop and remove from myself all behaviour that is based on past experiences, because I realise and understand that I am allowing my past memories as fears to direct me instead of me directing myself in breath here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive friendship as something dangerous, because friends will want to hit me and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that it is normal for friends to hit each other and hurt me, not realising and understanding that I have been manifesting these kind of 'friendly' relationships, because I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that friends should and are allowed to hit each other, instead of realising that by accepting this within and as myself, I am perpetuating what I otherwise find to be unacceptable and wouldn't want to exist within, thus feeling inferior and in fear of my friends and friendships and perceive them as 'not safe', within which I will use and utilise caution and preemptive strikes of spitefulness towards my friends, thus abusing them because I judge them as myself as being evil and spiteful inside anyway, and simply giving in to this belief instead of standing up to it within myself.

When and as I see myself not trusting my friends/my partner, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am reacting with fear of my friends/partner hurting me, because I have allowed a world in which it is ok for friends and partners to hurt each other and work against each other due to the accepted and allowed competition between people, within which we will utilise deception and manipulation in order to win over each other, which is what makes us unable to cooperate and agree, therefore I release the point with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.

I commit myself to through writing and self-forgiveness remove and stop all patterns of comparison and competition towards and with my friends and partner, because I realise and understand that this is what makes us unable to coexist together peacefully within the principles of do no harm and do what is best for all.

Day 57: Removing the dependency on my parents/family

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive my parents, especially my father, as a point of security and safety within this world, as my protectors and caretakers, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel safe, whenever I was with my parents, no matter how drunk and fucked up they would get, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel/perceive like I lost that safety, when my father died, not realising and understanding that I was being dependent/making myself dependent on them instead of taking self-responsibility and taking care of myself.


When and as I see myself perceiving my parents/mother as a point of security and safety within this world, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that this perception is due to me not wanting to take self-responsibility, and will therefore make my mother/parents responsible for me to take care of me and protect me and nurture me in this world, therefore I release the trigger point of me wanting to have parents to take care of me (as fear from the world/myself) and direct myself in breath.


I commit myself to through writing and self-forgiveness remove all emotional/material points of dependency on my parents/mother, because I realise and understand that I cannot make anyone but myself responsible for the way I experience myself in this world, because it was me who accepted and allowed myself to experience myself the way I do, it is me that is within myself generating the experience of myself, therefore only I am responsible for correcting myself and taking care of myself.


Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide behind my parents and make them responsible for me to survive and live in this world and experience myself in a positive and nice way, and perceive that they didn't do a good job of taking care of me and protecting me, thus blaming them for the current situation that I experience myself within, instead of realising and understanding that I am participating in amind polarity construct, which prevents me from taking self-responsibility, where I will feel safe and secure when I live with my parents, and feel insecure and threatened, when I do not live with my parents, thus powering my mind as ego through creating friction within myself to generate energy for my mind.


When and as I see myself wanting my mother/parents to take care of me and blaming my parents for not taking care of me, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that only I am responsible for me, and have been for a while, since I came off age, therefore I release the trigger point of wanting to hide behind my parents and/or blame them for my situation with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.
I commit myself to through writing and self-forgiveness stop and remove any and all dependency on and blame towards my parents, because I realise and understand that that is not self-responsibility, but an energetic state of the mind, within which I abdicate my self-responsibility.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to be able to live with my mother/parents together in a family that I could run away to and hide within from the attrocities and terrible state of the world that we have all allowed together, and by doing so forsake everything and everyone else but myself, not realising and understanding that this is my mind's polarity construct of fear of not having safety and defining my family/parents as the only point of 'real safety' that I have within this world, instead of realising that within this I am giving my power away to the idea of 'the family/parents' and with this perception I am separating myself from myself and all that is here by defining and perceiving my family/parents as more important than other people.


When and as I see myself wanting to hold on to the definitions of specialness of my family members and defining them as more important to me than other people, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that this is part od my wanting to run away from my self-responsibility and make other people (my family/parents) responsible for my life experience, therefore I release the trigger point with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.

I commit myself to through writing and self-forgiveness stop the separation of family/parents within myself and this world, because I realise and understand that the family construct is the main source of separation within this world and a reason why we as humanity are not able to consider and regard each others as equals, because we have defined/perceived our family memebers to be closer/more than/more special to us than other people.

Day 56: Removing jealousy and the emotional manipulation of my partner

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to keep/manipulate my partner into being emotionally attached to me in order for him to not turn to other girls/his ex, instead of realising that I am acting from a point of fear of loosing him and re-living the 'bad experiences' that I went through in the past, not realising that with this I am limiting both of us, I am separating myself from myself and all that is here in inferiority towards the memories of past experiences, which I am trying to prevent from happening again, thus creating friction within myself to generate power for my mind to exist as ego.

When and as I see myself wanting to emotionally manipulate my partner into being attached to me, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that with this I am compromising our standing, because I am limiting him and preventing him from standing up within himself through my own superiority as control over him, and am also limiting myself within my inferiority as fear of loosing my partner, therefore I release the trigger point of wanting to manipulate my partner into being attached to me with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.

I commit myself to through writing and self-forgiveness and self-corrective application identify and remove all points of emotional manipulation of my partner, because I realise and understand that by wanting to emotionally manipulate him, I am abdicating my self-responsibility to a relationship with him, and am not considering and regarding us in equality but in a relationship of energetic friction, within which I make myself superior as controlover my partner, and put him into an inferior position, where he is not able to stand up within himself due to my manipulation, and on the flip side I will feel inferior, when this manipulation is not turning out according to my self-interested plans.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to get back/get revenge at my partner's ex and seduce the man that she likes in order for her to feel and experience what I have felt and experienced when I perceived that she did the same to me, instead of realising that with participating within such thoughts and constructs, I am perpetuating the fuckup of doing onto another what I would not want to be done onto me, thus spiraling into an eternal maze of anger and hatred, which is essentially the cause of war in this world, not realising and understanding that I am wanting to make myself superior to her to compensate for the feelings of inferiority towards her that I have generated within myself in the past, thus I am participating in my mind's polarity construct with which I separate myself from myself and all that is here in order to generate friction for the creation of energy with which I feed my mind to survive as ego, within which I am abusing myself and other beings.

When and as I see myself wanting/wishing for revenge towards another, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am wanting revenge because I have felt inferior to that person in the past, and now I want to compensate for it with feeling superior over them by winning within a speciffic point, therefore I release the trigger point of wanting revenge with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.

I commit myself to through writing and self-forgiveness stop and remove all points of wanting revenge on another human being, because I realise and understand that this construct of wanting revenge is the very thing that perpetuates the violence in this world and is keeping people/myself occupied within the past, which does not exist anymore, it only exists as a dimension in my mind, therefore it is not real and not valid or relevant to my current situation here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire for my partner to reciprocate me with the same good feelings that I am showing him, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to experience and look forward to experiencing good feelings of love, happiness, joy, sexual arousal and intimacy with my partner, instead of realising and understanding that for me to experience the good feelings, I must also allow a negative polarity of those, which I'm setting myself up to by participating in and desiring/wishing for the good ones.

When and as I see myself wanting/needing/desiring to experience and looking forward to experiencing good feelings with/around my partner, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that by participating within the good feelings and desires for good feelings, I am participating within my mind's polarity construct, where I will make/perceive my partner responsible for me generating good feelings within myself when I am around him/talk to him and expect certain behaviour of him in order to do so, which will result in me generating the opposite polarity/bad feelings within myself when he doesn't behave the way that I'm expecting of him to generate good feelings within myself, therefore I release the point of wanting to experience good feelings with my partner, and direct myself in breath.

I commit myself to through writing and self-forgiveness remove all need/desires for good feelings around/with my partner, because I realise and understand that good feelings cannot exist without bad feelings to ballance them out and will inevitably appear within myself, if I continue generating good feelings within myself, therefore I will stop and remove these relationship constructs from within myself, as I realise that by participating in them, I am only enabling my mind to keep existing as ego and the manifestation of separation from myself and all that is here and not allowing myself to regard and consider my partner as an equal, but am using/abusing him to keep powering my ego through the relationship polarity construct