Day 20: Me in the eyes of others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live my life according to what I perceive others expect of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow my perceptions of the opinions and perspectives of others to influence me to such an extent where I am completely diminished to a state of fulfilling opinions and perspectives that I perceive others have of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to validate myself with my perceptions of other people's views and perspectives of me in order to make myself feel superior and wanted/accepted.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel bad about myself, inferior, less than, scared, angry and confused, when/as I see/perceive that other people think badly of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel good about myself, superior, more than, proud, excited and happy, when/as I see/perceive that other people have good opinions about me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire for others to have a good opinion about me, instead of realising that I want others to like me so that they would want to help me in the future - it's my survival construct, relationships that I am forming in my head with people, so that I would not have to stand as absolute self-responsibility.

I realise and understand that when/as I want/need/desire others to like me and have a good opinion about me - it is because I am not standing as absolute self-responsibility, but am 'counting on others in the future to assist/support me'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect/want/need/desire/believe/think that other people in this world should support me and assist me, instead of realising that within that I am abdicating my absolute self-responsibility.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always look for someone who I could 'share the burden of life' with, instead of realising that Life is not a burden, when walked in Breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive living in this capitalistic system as a burden, instead of realising that I am responsible for the burden that I created for myself and this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to make people/my partner feel good about themselves in order for them to like hanging with me, so that I could count on them in the future for survival, instead of standing within absolute self-responsibility in breath and directing myself with common sense towards what is best for all.