Day 20: Manipulating with knowledge and information

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate people in my surroundings with knowledge for my self interest, and persuade them with knowledge that came outside of myself - from a 'higher source/authority', be it spiritual or scientific - into doing things or not doing things, and act to be all excited about knowledge in order to get people to like me for being smart and educated, so that I could manipulate them into my self-interest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to convey knowledge to people, and persuade them to look at the body of knowledge that I have looked at and stored as memories in my mind,  in order to be able to manipulate them with the knowledge, win over them, overpower them and basically 'drag them to my level in order to be able to beat them with experience'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to tease people in order to get them to do something, manipulate them into doing as I say, instead of realising that I am playing an energetic game, which causes friction and inequality.

I commit myself to whenever I am in company, I stick to my breath and direct myself with common sense within it. If I cannot do that, I remove myself and write myself out.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use parts of conversations that happened in the past with a specific person when we are both in company together, as "code" to convey a point within the oblivious company's conversation, and with this create an air of secrecy between me and the specific person within the oblivious company. I realise that this is separation that I am doing, using "code" in order to manipulate another into doing as I say for my own self-interest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react with anger, dismay and resentment, when/as I see/perceive someone using code and spiteful laughing to manipulate another, when I perceive that they see a mutual point within secrecy with the other, instead of realising that I am taking it personal, which means that I have a personal agenda, which I must stop immediately and take full self-responsibility in the moment in breath and direct myself with common sense towards what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take it personally and react with anger and general superiority towards my partner, when/as I see/perceive him being manipulated by a third party into decisions that affect me, instead of realising that I am manipulating myself into a bad mood instead of remaining here in breath and directing myself with common sense.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take the behaviour and actions of other people in my world personally, and react to them with thoughts, feelings and emotions, instead of remaining here in breath, in absolute self-responsibility and directing myself with common sense.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame other people, their behaviour and actions, for the way that I experience myself, instead of taking absolute self-responsibility and directing myself with common sense in breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take the decisions of others personally, even when they do affect me, instead of remaining here in breath and directing myself and my world with common sense.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of addressing a point of manipualtion outside of myself and be afraid to stand up against it, when/as I am personally involved.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of standing up for myself and my equality within a group, instead of realising that I am compromising myself and my self-responsiblity by doing so.

I commit myself to stand up for myself, when/as I see abuse going on within my world to/towards me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of the reactions of other people, when/as I am about to call them out on their self-deception.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to call out other people on their self-deception, instead of realising that I create friction with that and am not being equal, but an accuser.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accuse other people for doing something, instead of realising that what I accuse - comes from myself, therefore I stop the point within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of other people ruining my plans, instead of realising that my plans are of the mind, not me directing myself within breath, therefore I stop planning things, and direct myself within the moment in breath.