Sunday, 15 July 2012

Day 16: Communication in relationships


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel bad and resentful, annoyed and angry and violent, whenever I see/perceive my partner not wanting to talk to me and be honest with me, instead of directing myself here in breath and with common sense.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into existential fear of the future, whenever I see/perceive my partner not wanting to talk to me and be honest with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of my relationship falling apart, whenever I see/perceive my partner not wantin to talk to me honestly and drifting away from me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience myself as sad and hurt and afraid, whenever I see/perceive my partner not talking to me honestly and drifting away from me, instead of remaining here in breath and directing myself with common sense.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to have a close and honest relationship with my partner, instead of realising that honesty is an energetic feeling for creating "special relationships", and is as such compromising our equality with the rest of the beings in this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel less than and inferior, whenever I see/perceive my partner drifting away from me and not being able to talk to me self-honestly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel bad about myself and take it personally and as a personal failure, whenever I see and perceive my partner drifting away from me and not being able to talk to me self-honestly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish/want/need/desire to have a special contact with my partner that I can define/perceive as close and intimate, instead of allowing myself to be close and intimate with myself in breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry with my partner, because I perceive that he doesn't want to talk to me self-honestly, instead of remaining here in breath and never taking anything my partner does personal.

When and as I see myself wanting to take things from my partner personal and blame him for something that I experience within myself - I Stop and Breathe. I do not allow myself to blame my partner for any experience that comes up inside me. Instead I investigate and release the point with self-forgiveness, and direct myself in breath with common sense towards what is best for all.

I commit myself to never again blame/judge my partner for any kind of experience that I experience within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be sad, angry, resentful and annoyed, whenever I see/perceive my partner avoiding eye-contact with me and having a defensive stance, and go into all sorts of mind projections of blame and guilt and want to guess what the hell is wrong, and want to push him to make eye contact with me and be self-honest with me without realising that I am playing a power game in that moment, instead of remaining here in breath, not taking it personally and directing myself with common sense.

I realise and understand that I cannot and may not blame my partner for not wanting to have contact with me for whatever reason. I may not push into him energetically, instead I remain here in breath and direct myself with common sense.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to find out why my partner doesn't want to have contact with me, instead of investigating my own point of why I want to have contact with my partner.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to be able to talk to my partner honestly, and perceive that it would help me more than I can help myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust my partner more than myself, whenever I am having a problem, to solve that problem.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to have a partner who would share solving my problems with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to have a partner whom I could trust with my problems, instead of realising how I am shifting my self-responsibility onto him by doing so.

I realise and understand that no one outside of me can or may solve my problems for me and instead of me, because that way I would be giving up and abdicating my own self-responsibility.

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