Tuesday, 17 July 2012

Day 17: Sex manipulation in relationships = indirect whoring


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to persuade my partner/men into having sex with me, so that I could get validation from him/them as being good at sex and with that bind him/them to myself, because of my belief that men always think about sex, are obsessessed with sex, and therefore my way to safety and comfort in the future in a partnership with them is through sex.

I realise that I cannot and may not use and utilize manipulation with sex to be able to abdicate my absolute self-responsibility.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to persuade myself and others that "I love sex" and "I am good at sex" and present myself as a character that likes sex in order to make men interested in me, without realising that I am doing so in order to secure a safety and comfort zone with them in the future, so that I would not have to face myself and take absolute responsibility for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek comfort and safety in the future by using and utilizing sex and talking about sex with men.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to have sex with men in order to be able to emotionally bind them to myself and not have to take absolute self-responsibility for my life and survival in this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use/utilize sex as a means of survival in this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that I have to use/utilise sex in this world in order to secure and ensure my survival in this world system, instead of taking full responsibility for ensuring my survival in the system on my own and not being afraid of doing that.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use/utilite sex in order to manipulate men into liking me and making them want to be responsible for me, so that I wouldn't have to be responsible for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that a man should take care of me/a woman, and support me/her financially and emotionally as long as I/she provides him with sex.

I realise that manipulation with sex in order to not have to face myself in absolute self-responsibility is a fuckup, therefore I stop the manipulation of men with sex in order to secure my safety and survival in the future, and remain here in breath and direct myself with common sense towards what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that sex is a physical act, much like any sport and activity, and is separated from other physical acts only through my definitions of it's specialness that I have picked up from those that have gone before me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to talk about sex in conversations in order to make myself superior and more than men, because I want to embarrass them and overpower them, because I know that they are ashamed of "honesty" about sex, and women who talk about sex openly are perceived as strong women.

I commit myself to stop manipulating myself and others with sex in order to not have to face myself in absolute self-responsibility.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that sex is actually a means of securing money/survival for myself (im the future), when all the nice and pretty definitions of it have been removed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use and utilize sex in order to make men feel responsible for me, because I was too lazy to get a job in the past and take care of myself in full self-responsibility.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be ashamed of having used sex to secure my (financial) survival in this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise how sex is indirectly through emotions and feelings connected to survival and money, which is needed in this world to be able to survive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that we are all indirect whores, because we manipulate with sex in relationships in order to secure and ensure our own survival and comfort in the future.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive whoring/prostituting as a shameful act, when in fact all humans are whores/prostitutes - directly for money or indirectly through manipulating with emotions and feelings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive being a prostitute for money to be worse than being a manipulator with sex in a partnership, instead of realising how the two acts are the same, because the inner emotional system of the human is equal to the outer monetary system of humanity - and they're both caving in, equal and one.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be ashamed of myself for manipulating my partners/men into having sex with me, so that I could get their money, with which I could buy my own survival in this world, instead of standing within and as absolute self-responsibility.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be ashamed of having accepted/taken money from my partners/men, whom I've seduced/manipulated into having sex with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to form emotional end feelingy sexual relationships with men, so that we could pay the rent together and I wouldn't have to face myself alone in absolute self-responsibility.

2 comments:

  1. Awsome!! Exactly what we were waiting for: Hilda the Linguist in full blogging action!

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  2. Now that's a kick in the but post I thoroughly enjoyed reading. Cool Hilda!

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