Wednesday, 11 July 2012

Day 13: Stopping the blame game

My left heel hurts when I step on it. I asked about this, and the answer was:

the left heel represent that you are still in your mind, blaming everyone and not taking self responsibility - not standing up within and as a point of self responsibility towards yourself and your world. (Sunette perspective)

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame other people for my situation, instead of taking absolute responsibility for myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my parents for bringing me into this world, although 'I didn't ask them to', because I am reluctant to take absolute self-responsibility.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel reluctant to take absolute self-responsibility.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish/want/need/desire to have parents and/or a partner, who would take care of me all my life, instead of realising that I need to take absolute self-responsibility for myself and my world.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my parents for not securing me with a house/place to stay in this life, and within that I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to be angry at my parents for having to pay rent in this world, because I perceive that there is no way that I could ever have a home of my own.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be frustrated and annoyed, because I have to pay rent in order to live somewhere, instead of realising that there are many more beings in this world that suffer far greater pains than me having to pay rent.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realise that I need to take absolute responsibility for myself and this world, and that playing the blame game is the opposite of that.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame and be envious of friends, who have material security in this world, and wish /want/need/desire for them to help me, so that I would not have to take absolute self-responsibility, instead of remaining here in breath and directing myself with common sense in absolute self-responsibility.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame politicians for 'not taking care of the people', and think/believe/perceive that 'it used to be so much better in socialism, because everyone had a roof over their heads', instead of realising that all people in this world, including politicians, only look after their own self-interest, and therefore would not help me anyway.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to have friends who will help me in terms of having material safety, instead of realising that I am abdicating my self-responsibility with this want, remaining here  in breath and directing myself with common sense.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my sister and brother for 'abandoning me' in terms of not wanting to live together, instead of realising that I am simply to afraid to take absolute self-responsibility and live alone.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to live with a family/friends, so that I would have a sense of safety and security.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to have a home/special place with other people, where I would feel secure and safe, instead of taking absolute self-responsibility and me taking care of me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of being alone and not having anyone who would help me carry and share 'my burden' of financial responsibility within this world.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry, resentful, annoyed, sad, bewildered, that I need to work for money to survive in this world, instead of breathing and directing myself with common sense.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that I need help and assistance from other people/my parents/siblings/relatives/partner/children in order to survive in this world.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that I cannot take care of my own survival alone in this world.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my self-responsibility for my own survival and living in this world to other people.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish/want/need/desire for a saviour in form of another human/my partner/aliens to come and save me from having to take absolute self-responsibility.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to count on having safety if/when I find a partner who will want to share a life of material/monetary responsibility.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look for a partner in order to not have to be absolutely self-responsible, but have a partner that I could run to and hide behind, whenever I perceive things to be hard and/or whenever I don't have money.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be disgusted with this world, because humans need to work 8+ hours in order to secure our own survival, which is keeping us away from actually realising ourselves.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my partner for not wanting to be responsible for me with me, instead of realising that I need to direct myself with common sense in breath.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish/want/need/desire to have a partner who would want to be responsible for me with me.

When and as I see blame towards another person coming up within me, I stop, I breathe, I do not allow myself to blame, but rather investigate and release the point with self-forgiveness, and direct myself in breath with common sense towards what is best for all.

I commit myself to stop and remove the blame game within myself and my world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame other people for abusing other other people, instead of stopping the projection and releasing the point within myself with self-forgiveness, and directing myself in breath.

----
I was meaning to write a blog, and address the fuckup that I had allowed myself a few days ago, and then didn't, because there were too many implications, and bellow is just one of them.

Participating with a group

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to be the best in class/within any group that I participate in.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to get recognition from my class/group for doing a great job.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire praises from the group that I am participating in.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to be noticed and praised by my teachers/perceived leaders of groups that I participate in.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become dependant on praise, and make it my main motivation for doing and accomplishing anything, instead of being my own starting point for doing things in this world.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that I must be best in class, because my parents told me so.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare and compete with my classmates/groupmates in order to get recognition from the teacher/leader, my friends and my parents.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek a position within my class/group, because I think/believe/perceive that I must be the best and do extra effort so that I could live up to my parent's expectations, which I have adopted as my own, of having to be the best and brightest in a group/class.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek validation from the group that I participate in/my class and the perceived leader/teacher of the group.

No comments:

Post a Comment