Thursday, 17 January 2013

Day 93: Time is Money



A few days ago I was working all day long. In the short breaks that I took, I read up on the blogs, and at some point I went to the toilet and realised that this was the only activity I did for myself and myself only. I hadn't done anything that I find enjoyable all day long. It was all work and no play.
I found myself thinking about how the prices of living went up, while I still work for the same amount of money as three years ago. I thought about how people with families have to struggle in order to put food on the table for their children, and how some of them work two or three jobs. I realised that time is in fact money, and at this point we are running out of time in order to ensure the necessary amount of money for our families to survive. Salaries remain the same and/or are dropping, but the prices are going up. At this rate we'll all be struggling to survive in no time. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like a slave to the system, and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the system by perceiving myself as a slave of the system, instead of realising and understanding that I am creating the system within my mind, in part by allowing myself to feel like a slave to the system and feel inferior to the system.
Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compensate for my feelings of inferiority to and powerlessness against the system with superiority as anger at the system, instead of realising and understanding that by doing so, I am only participating in the opposite polarity of the same coin of the system and feeding energy to my mind as ego.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the system within my anger towards it, instead of realising that within this I am abdicating my responsibility by thinking that it is something outside of myself, instead of realising and understanding that I, together with all of humanity, am the creator of the system, and the fact that I was not aware of how I'm doing it, doesn't make it any less so.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry at myself for allowing myself to co-create and participate within such an abusive system as we have on the planet today, instead of realising and understanding that with being angry with myself, I am only wasting time and timelooping and preventing myself from actually changing the system within myself into one that always considers what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to simply accept the world system of money to be as it is with my fears and wants/needs of security, instead of realising that this is exactly the way that the world system is built up - from within each and every single human being - feeling and thinking the exact same thoughts that I think and feel.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to point fingers and blame other people for upholding the abusive system that we live in, instead of realising that I myself in their position would probably do the same due to the automated nature of the system, thus I am essentially blaming myself, instead of stopping the blame and changing myself in order to stand as an example of change and as an example of a different system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear and doubt that people will never change and will never want to hear about implementing a new system, because they're too busy with their lives and areaddicted to their personalities, instead of realising and understanding that I am sabotaging myself with such thoughts, because I'm projecting a part of myself that doesn't want to stand up and walk the necessary walk that needs to be done in order to change the system.

When and as I see myself thinking and perceiving that people will never want to change, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am projecting a part of myself, which wants to give up on itself in abdication of self-responsibility and in self-interest, therefore I remove the trigger point and origin of such thoughts, and I direct myself in breath towards what is best for all.

I commit myself to stopping and removing all self-sabotaging thoughts because of which I allow myself to skip days of blogging, and all wishes/wants/needs/desires for self-indulgence and justifications that I deserve them, because I realise and understand that by allowing such constructs within myself, I am sabotaging myself and giving myself permission to loop and not stand up.

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