Day 100: Perceptions about the State

When I was little, I was worried about having to get an education and a job, and I was worried that I might fail, and I was kinda hoping that if I fail, the state will take care of me. In my childhood naivety I was hoping that I am living in a system that takes care of all. As I grew up, I slowly but surely learned and realised that this is not the case.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that the institution of state is made to take care of each individual in this world, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that everyone should be faithful and loyal to their state in terms of civil obedience, paying taxes and obeying the law, instead of realising and understanding that within these perceptions and definitions, I am abdicating my self-responsibility for my survival and living and taking care of myself onto a made up entity, the state, which does not serve the interest that is best for all, but only serves the interest of the few people at it's top. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be disillusioned and disappointed, when I found out that the state is not an entity that takes care of everyone's dignified survival and life, and would therefore start hating the institution of the state, not realising and understanding that these emotional responses will not better or fix the situation that I have realised, but will only perpetuate the current fuckup that all of humanity together have accepted and allowed to exist in our lives.

When and as I see myself becoming frustrated in conversations and thoughts about the world system and states and how they neglect actual human lives, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that frustration and anger will only contribute to perpetuating the current system fuckup, because instead of directing myself towards changing the system, I am abdicating that responsibility in the form of emotional reactions and a feeling of helplessness and being overwhelmed. Therefore I release the trigger point with self-forgiveness and direct myself toward becoming a self-willed individual that will stand and help implement a system that will unconditionally support what is best for All Life.

I commit myself to through writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application stop and remove from within myself all perceptions, ideas, beliefs and fears that are related to the current world system and states and their political arrangements, because I realise and understand that all those concepts are only limiting me from seeing what is really here, and directing things towards changing the system into one that supports what is best for All Life.