Saturday, 12 January 2013

Day 90: Manipulating my partner with money


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate my partner with money and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to buy my partner's affection with money, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that if I have money, I am safe and my partner will like me, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel superior, more than, good and positive and safe about my partner not leaving me, when I perceive to have enough money, and feel inferior, less than, negative, bad and scared about my partner not liking me and leaving me, when I perceive to have too little money, instead of realising that I am participating within a mind polarity construct, within which I will make myself feel inferior and superior in connection and communication with my partner according to how much money I have, with which 
I am powering my mind as ego through judging myself as good enough/situated enough to tease my partner with money and ask him to do me favours for money, and threaten him that I will not give him money and will not take care of his survival, if he doesn't do what I say, not realising and understanding that I am overpowering another human being with money and making him feel inferior to me for me having enough money and him not having enough money.


When and as I see myself wanting to hold power over my partner with money, and wanting to manipulate him with money to do stuff that I would like him to do for me in order to show me that he cares for me, so that I would take care of him financially, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am actually buying my power over another human being, I am buying their 'love' and 'care', I am manipulating them into having feelings for me due to survival, and I am ashamed of this, when revealed to other human beings due to fear of judgement. Therefore I release the superiority point of wanting positive feedback from my partner through offering and giving him money with self-forgiveness, and release the negativity of feeling bad and ashamed, because I perceive I can only do this with money, because I want care and affection from my partner, and I direct myself in breath and acknowledge my partner as an equal human being and do not do to him what I do not want done onto myself.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that if I give money to my partner, he is obliged to be nice to me and love me, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel obliged to show care and love to my partner, whenever he gives me money, instead of realising that I am participating within a mind construct where I have defined money to be the buyer of love, but hide this from myself, because it sounds bad and unseemly.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use and utilise money and brag to my partner about how much money I have in order to invoke in him feelings for me, instead of realising and understanding that I am abusing both of us with this behaviour, because I put myself in a superior position over my partner for having money and considering and regarding him as my servant, my slave, with which I put him in an inferior position to me, and am not regarding him as an equal.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire my partner to hug me and show care for me because I have money, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to talk to my partner about money from the starting point of buying his affection for me with material things and money.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect and equate money with affection and love, and separate myself from money by defining it as a tool with which I can buy my partner's affection and care, not realising and understanding that I am participating within a mind construct of survival, where I want to make my partner tied to me and eternally dependent on me, because I perceive myself to have enough money to take care of him.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to talk to my partner about money from a starting point of making him feel obliged to give back in feelings and affections what I spend on him in terms of money, not realising and understanding that I am enforcing his survival mode within this, and I am making myself superior for perceiving that I can take care of his survival due to having enough money.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that my partner will leave me, if I do not have enough money, and that he will not want to be with me, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to ensure that my partner wants to be with me by talking about how much money I have and things that I can buy with the money that I have.


When and as I see myself wanting to ensure getting affection from my partner and wanting to ensure my power over my partner by talking to him about money, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am participating within a polarity construct, where I enslave our expressions to the amount of money that I have, and I will perceive that everything is ok and fine between us, when I perceive myself to have enough money, within which I will feel superior, more than, positive and good, and will perceive that I am in danger of loosing my partner, when I perceive myself to not have enough money, within which I will feel negative and inferior and less than and bad.


I commit myself to through writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application stop and remove all patterns of wanting to have power over my partner with money, and wanting to ensure his care and affection for me through talking to him about money and buying him things and promising to buy him things, because I realise and understand that by doing so, I am participating in and enforcing the slavery system of survival and codependency, within which I make myself superior to my partner, when I have more money than him, and put him in an inferior position to myself for having less money than me.


I commit myself to through breathing and self-corrective application stop all participation in constructs of survival with money in terms of buying my partner's affection for me, because I realise and understand that I am not allowing equality between us by making him afraid of loosing me, if he doesn't do my bidding, which is self-interest, with which I power my mind as ego.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to threaten my partner that I will leave him, and within this tacitly imply that I will take my money with me, and leave him without any means of survival, with which I want to scare him into caring for me and showing me affection, instead of realising and understanding that I am abusing the both of us by doing so, because I am participating within a mind polarity construct, where I give myself permission to command my partner and demand things from my partner and control him by threatening him that I will leave, if he doesn't do what I ask of him in my self-interest, with which I make myself superior and more than, and feel positive and good about myself, and I am putting him in an inferior position to act in fear of me leaving him.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel ashamed of myself for wanting to control my partner's behaviour with money, and feel inferior and less than in my perception that I have no other qualities except for money, for which my partner would actually care for me.


When and as I see myself wanting to influence my partner with money into doing what I want him to do in my self-interest, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that with doing so, I am perpetuating the global system of money enslavement on an individual level, therefore I release the point of wanting to influence my partner with money, and I direct myself in breath towards what is best for all.


I commit myself to stopping and removing my desires for influence over other people with money, because I realise and understand that by wanting to influence other people with money, I am participating in and perpetuating the abuse and enslavement of control through money, with which I am directly responsible for the suffering and hardship that is caused by money in this world.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive and define money to be a tool and means of exercising control and influence over other people, and accept that as 'normal', instead of realising that it is a tool and means of enforcing inequality between people, a means of not allowing ourselves to express ourselves freely, but always express ourselves in dependency on money and within that limiting ourselves and not allowing ourselves to live by participating within this system of survival.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate money, whenever I do not have enough of it, and love money, whenever I perceive that I have enough of it to ensure my own survival, instead of realising and understanding that by participating within these thought constructs, I am separating myself from money by making it the primary factor for my survival and living.


When and as I see myself having emotional reactions towards money, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that these reactions are part of the preprogrammed design of survival that I have accepted and allowed to exist within me, therefore I release the trigger points and constructs with self-forgiveness and Live according to what is best for All.


I commit myself to stopping and removing all emotional perceptual reactions and patterns towards money that I accepted and allowed to exist within me, because I realise and understand that by allowing these constructs to exist within me, I am allowing myself to be enslaved by money and feel powerless, when I perceive myself to not have enough money, and feel powerful, when I perceive myself to have enough money.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect and equate money with power, and within this separate myself from money by giving it the definition of power, instead of realising and understanding that I am participating within a mind polarity construct, where I will feel superior, more than, good, positive and safe, when I perceive myself to have enough money, and will feel less than, insferior, bad and negative and unsafe, when I perceive that I do not have enough money, and will participate in fears of not having enough money in the future and loosing my means of survival and power in this system, not realising and understanding that I am participating within a perceptual mind construct, within which I generate energy for my mind to exist as ego, when I worry and think about money, which is how I abuse myself and others through giving money the utmost importance in this life.


When and as I see myself giving importance to money in my thoughts, words and actions, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am participating within a mind construct of survival, within which I will separate myself from all that is here, and will ignore and be oblivious to everything else but my own survival. Therefore I release the thoughts about money with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath towards what is best for all without considering and regarding money as the most important factor.

I commit myself to through self-investigative writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application, stop and remove all of my perceptions, definitions, beliefs and other mind constructs about money, because I realise and understand that by participating in them, I am perpetuating and furthering my own enslavement to money and survival, as well as that of other people.

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