Monday, 14 January 2013

Day 92: Wanting my partner to treat me as special and more than others



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel unapreciated, inferior, less than and negative, when and as I see and perceive my partner regarding and being more attentive towards other people than me. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire for my partner to always regard me first, and with this show his care for me, instead of realising and understanding that I am participating within a relationship polarity construct, within which I want my partner to always consider me first, when aroudn other people, in order for me to feel superior, more than, positive and good, like I am more important to him than other people, and on the flip side, I will feel neagtive, less than, bad and inferior, whenever I perceive that this is not the case.


When and as I see myself wanting to perceive that I am more important to my partner than other people, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am participating within a mind polarity construct, within which I want to make myself superior to other people, and am with this disregarding equality, therefore I release the trigger point and direct myself in breath towards what is best for all in awareness that wanting to be special to my partner is a mind fuckup, with which I separate myself from all that is here and generating power for my mind as ego.


I commit myself to through writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application stop and remove all desires for special treatment from my partner, because I realise and understand that special treatment implies inequality and leads to separation.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react with jealousy, anger, disappointment, resentment and frustration, whenever I see and perceive my partner being more attentive towards other people, instead of realising and understanding that I am validating myself according to his actions, and am comparing myself to those people, and I will perceive myself as inferior, when I perceive him to be nicer to other people than me, which I then compensate with superiority as anger and frustration, not realising and understanding that I am participating within a mind polarity construct, within which I generate energy for my mind as ego.


When and as I see myself having emotional reactions to my partner's actions and behaviour towards other people and perceive them to be different than towards me, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am making my partner responsible for the way I am experiencing myself, which is silly, because I generate my own energetic reactions within myself, therefore I release the trigger point of the reaction with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.


I commit myself to stopping and removing all of my perceptions, where I make my partner responsible for the way I experience myself, because I realise and understand that by participating wihtin a relationship of such interaction with my partner, where I want him to make me feel good by putting me above all other people, I am abdicating my absolute self-responsibility, and neglecting and disregarding my self-honest expression in breath.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to need constant validation from my partner in terms of being more special to him than other people, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look for and search out situations that would point to the opposite, within which I would find a reason to create conflict between us and create resistance within myself to power my mind as ego through that conflict, instead of realising and understanding that I am participating within a mind polarity construct, where I will feel superior, more than and positive, when I perceive that my partner regards me as special and more than others, and will feel negative, less than and inferior, when I perceive that my partner doesn't regard me as special and more than others, not realising and understanding that by participating within all this bullshit I am abdicating my self-responsibility by making my partner responsible for how I experience myself through my own perceptions of his behaviour, and am neglecting and negating equality and creating separation as friction to power my mind as ego.


When and as I see myself wanting to validate myself as more than through perceiving myself as being more special to my partner through his behaviour, and wishing him to behave in a way so that I could perceive this, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am participating within a relationship construct, within which I will abdicate my own self-responsibility and expect my partner to make me feel more than, superior positive and good, and will lash out at him, when I generate inferiority within myself according to my perception of his behaviour around other people, therefore I release the trigger point with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath in equality without making my self-experience dependant on my partner's behaviour, actions and words.

I commit myself to stop being dependent on my partner for the creation and generating good feelings within myself about myself, because I realise and understand that this is not self-responsibility in equality, it is in fact separation created in friction, with which I only power my mind as ego.

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