Friday, 4 January 2013

Day 86: Being valued and considered within a partnership




I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel disrespected, inferior and less than, whenever I see/perceive that my partner is not following and adhering to the conditions that I have set for our agreement. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react with anger, disappointment, resentment and frustration, whenever I see and perceive that my partner would rather hang with other people than face himself in self-honesty as to why he wants to hang with other people. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to validate myself according to my perception of how my partner perceives me, instead of realising and understanding that I am compromising myself by making myself dependant on my partner's behaviour and adjusting my behaviour to my partner's behaviour towards me.

I realise and understand that by validating myself through my perception of my partner's perception of me, I am compromising myself by participating within my mind's polar relationship patterns, where I will feel more than and superior when I perceive that my partner is considering me within his behaviour, and will feel less than and inferior, when I perceive that my parter is not taking me into consideration within his behaviour, therefore I will release the point of validation with self-forgiveness and direct myself without influencing myself with my perceptions of my partner's consideration of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to feel like I am being considered by my partner, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect and equate being considered with being respected and valued instead of realising and understanding that I am wanting to consider myself through being considered by my partner, instead of cutting out the middle man and considering myself as myself and not needing to be considered by anyone else.

I realise and understand that the desire to be considered by other people/my partner is part of a polar construct of my mind, where I will judge/perceive myself as inferior, when I perceive that other people do not consider me, and will feel superior and more than, when I perceive that other people are considering me and valuing me, therefore I release the desire for being considered by others with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breathwithout this need for consideration, through which I could validate myself, because I realise and understand that with this I am generating energy for my mind to survive as ego.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire my partner to show me affection and show a desire to be in a relationship with me, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior and less than, whenever I see and perceive that my partner is having resistances towards being seen to be in a relationship with me, and I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to react with anger and feel inferior, when and as I perceive that my partner doesn't want to be seen to be in a relationship with me, instead of realising and understanding that I am validating myself according to how I think my partner sees me, instead of remaining here in breath with myself. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react with hatred, annoyance, anger, disappointment, frustration and resentment, whenever I see and perceive that my partner doesn't want to appear to others to be in a relationship with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react with anger, frustration, annoyance, disappointment and feel inferior, when and as I see and perceive that my partner doesn't want to touch me on his own. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to validate myself according to whether my partner wants to touch me or not, instead of realising that I am participating within a mind polarity construct, within which I will feel more than, positive and superior, when and as my partner touches me on his own, and will feel negative, less than and inferior, when and as I perceive that my partner doesn't want to touch me on his own, not realising and understanding that I am making my existence and experience within that moment dependant on energy of my mind that gets released when I judge myself as worthy and good enough for him to want to touch me, and not worthy and not good enough for him to want to touch me. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that my partner wouldn't be able to keep his hands off of a thin girl, if he had the chance of being with one, and within this thought to react with anger, resentment, frustration, hatred and feelings of inferiority.

When and as I see myself giving into thoughts of my partner rather being with a thin girl or his ex than me, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am participating within a self-judgemental pattern of feeling bad about myself for not being thin, and am envying thin girls and his ex, because I perceive that they would get more attention and care from my partner than myself, within which I will make myself feel inferior and less than. Therefore I release the trigger point and origin of the thoughts with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath towards what is best for the agreement.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to hurt my partner by telling him that I will leave him, whenever I see and perceive that he is giving into energies and not wanting to face himself in process, instead of realising and understanding that I am participating within energies myself, because I am reacting with anger as superiority towards him, because I made myself feel inferior as not respected and not cherished and valued within my perception of my partner not being prepared to face himself in self-honesty, but rather filling his energy needs with other people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be jealous of the people whom I perceive my partner would rather hang with than face himself in process, instead of realising and understanding that I am participating within comparison and competition with those people, and making myself feel inferior, whenever I perceive that my partner would rather hang with those people than with me, and making myself feel superior, whenever I perceive that my partner would rather hang with me than those people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate, despise, abhor the people that I perceive my partner would rather hang with than with me, instead of realising and understanding that I am participating within comparison and competition with those people, where I will compare myself with them and compete with them for my partner's attention.

When and as I see myself comparing myself to other people that my partner hangs with and competing with them for his attention, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am participating within a polarity construct of the mind, where I will feel inferior, less than and negative, when I see and perceive that my partner would rather hang with those people, and will feel superior, when I see/perceive that my partner would rather hang with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry at my partner, whenever I see and perceive that he likes his ex more than me, instead of realising and understanding that with this I am compensating for the negativity as inferiority that I am feeling because I validate myself according to what my partner thinks of me.

When and as I see myself validating myself through my perception of my partner's behaviour towards me, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am participating within a mind polarity construct, within which I will make myself feel superior, when and as I see and perceive that my partner is valuing my opinion and cherishes and respects me, and will feel negative, less than and inferior, whenever I see and perceive that my partner doesn't value me and my opinion, and doesn't cherish and respect me. Therefore I release the projection of my partner's behaviour towards me with self-forgiveness and direct myself according to what is best for the agreement.

I commit myself to stop validating myself according to my partner's behaviour towards me, and stop all perceptions and definitions of my partner's behaviour towards me, because I realise and understand that I am not regarding and seeing my partner as who he is as life but through my expectations of him within the polar self-validating relationship patterns of my mind, which I will remove with self-forgiveness and self-corrective application.

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