Monday, 28 January 2013

Day 101: "It's my partner's job to keep me happy"



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that my partner should feel obliged to make and keep me happy, instead of realising and understanding that I am doing this from a point of superiority and participating within a mind polarity construct, in which I will feel superior, more than and positive, when I perceive that my partner is trying to keep me happy, and will feel inferior, less than and negative, when I perceive that my partner is not trying to keep me happy, and will connect and equate this with my partner caring or not caring for me enough for him to want to keep me happy.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to (feel like I have the right to) demand from my partner to keep me happy and satisfied, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that my partner should be able to read my mind and act accordingly to what I want, instead of realising and understanding that I am participating with superiority, because I have accepted the belief that a man should woe and court a woman, and that a woman is superior to the man, because she is the one giving sex, not realising and understanding that I am acting and behaving this way because I want/need/desire to be treated like a princess, and I have 'fallen victim' to the socially accepted programming of a man having to serve and love and cherish a woman. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to be treated as special, and for my partner to show me special appreciation, care and love, so that I would feel superior and special, instead of realising and understanding that by participating within thesethoughts, I am perpetuating my own enslavement to the self-accepted ideas and beliefs that I have picked up through stories, fairytales, television and other media.


When and as I see myself wanting my partner to make me happy and read my thoughts and do what I want him to do without me having to tell him what I want him to do, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am participating within a specialness construct, within which I believe that I should have a special connection with my partner, where I wouldn't have to communicate with words what I want, instead he would somehow magically know what I want, and I would become frustrated, angry, resentful and annoyed, when that wouldn't happen, and I would feel positive, more than and superior and connected with my partner, when that would happen. Therefore I release the trigger point of wanting to feel connected and special within my relationship with my partner, and I direct myself in breath towards what is best for our agreement and for me as all.


I commit myself to stop and remove all wants/needs/desires for my partner to make me feel special, because I realise and understand that by wanting to feel special within my relationship/agreement with my partner, I am closing myself off into a bubble of privacy with him, and excluding and ignoring everything else that is Here.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel negative, less than and inferior and sad, whenever I perceive that my partner is not willing to do what I want him to do in order to make/keep me happy, and connect and equate this with him not caring for me enough, instead of realising and understanding that I am again validating myself through my partner's actions towards me within my mind's construct of perceptions and beliefs that my partner should feel obliged to make/keep me happy and within that do what I want him to do, without me telling him what I want him to do.


When and as I see myself wanting to validate myself as superior or inferior through my partner's actions and behaviour towards me, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am with this only feeding my mind energy through causing friction within myself and between us, thus disabling myself/us to effectively communicate and share our experience together. Therefore I release the point of wanting to validate myself with my partner's behaviour towards me, and direct myself in breath without emotional reactions to my partner's behaviour.

I commit myself to stop validating myself through my perception of my partner's behaviour towards me, because I realise and understand that within this I create my perception to be negative or positive so that I would feed my mind energy and so that my ego can live on, which I do not allow anymore, therefore will I release my perception of positivity and negativity with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.

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