Sunday, 6 January 2013

Day 87: Comparing Physical Abilities



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior to my partner's physical abilities and body condition, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge/perceive myself as physically inferior to my partner and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry at myself, because I think that I am inferior to my partner in terms of physical abilities and body condition, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compensate for that feeling of inferiority towards my partner in terms of physical body readiness with superiority as anger towards my partner, which I project through completely unrelated subjects such as past experiences, within which I feel that I have somehow been wronged by my partner and his ex.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that my partner is judging me according to my body's physical readiness and that he is judging it as inferior and less than himself. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to have a physically fit partner, and feel inferior and less than, when this is not the case, because I am defining and valuing myself in the eyes of others with my partner's looks and physical readiness, instead of realising that I am participating within a mind relationship construct, where I will feel superior and more than, when I perceive that people in my surroundings define/perceive my partner as handsome/physically fit, and will feel negative, inferior and less than, when I perceive that the people in my surroundings are defining/perceiving my partner as not handsome and physically unfit.


When and as I see myself comparing myself and my body's physical readiness and fitness to my partner's or any other person's physical fitness, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am participating within amind polarity construct, within which I will feel more than and superior, when I perceive myself to be more physically fit than the person that I'm comparing myself to, and will feel negative, less than and inferior, when I perceive myself to be physically less fit than the person that I'm comparing myself to, and within this part of the polarity I will feel ashamed and embarrassed of myself and my body, and I will want to compensate for that feeling of inferiority with superiority as a balancing act, which I will do through finding and projecting a negative point towards the person that I am comparing myself to, which I will latch onto and make myself feel and appear superior through anger/knowledge. Therefore I release the trigger point of comparison with self-forgiveness and direct myself within the situation without comparing and competing with other people in terms of physical readiness and fitness.

I commit myself to stop comparing myself to other people and competing with them in terms of physical readiness and fitness, because I realise and understand that when I do that, I make myself feel bad, less than, inferior and worthless, when I perceive myself to be less physically fit, which I will want to balance out with superiority, and on the flip side will make myself feel better and superior, within which I am empowering inequality within myself and feeding my mind as ego the energy that it needs to survive by judging myself and others in terms of physical fitness and thus creating friction within myself.

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