Thursday, 10 January 2013

Day 88: Self-validation in partnerships



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react with anger, frustration, resentment, annoyance and explosiveness, when and as I see and perceive that my partner is not willing to face a point within himself in self honesty, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel compromised and insecure about our future together, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to run away from these kind of situations by simply moving away and forgetting about my partner, instead of realising and understanding that I am taking his unwillingness to face himself personally and would perceive it as a personal victory, if I could get him to face himself in self-honesty, with which I am participating within a polarity relationship construct of my mind, where on the flip side I will feel negative, less than and inferior and not cherished and appreciated, when I perceive myself unable to get him to face himself in self-honesty.

When and as I see myself reacting emotionally to my partner's unwillingness to face himself, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am participating within a self-validating mind pattern, where I will make myself feel good about myself for assisting my partner to face himself in self-honesty, and I will make myself feel negative, less than and inferior, when I perceive myself as unable to get my partner to face himself in self-honesty. Therefore I release the trigger point of wanting to validate myself within assisting my partner in facing himself, and I direct myself in breath towards what is best for my agreement in a given situation without emotionally reacting when I perceive that my partner is unwilling to face himself in self-honesty.

I commit myself to stopping and removing all points of self-validation within assisting my partner within facing himself in self-honesty, because I realise and understand that if I assist him from the starting point of wanting to validate myself, then I am fucking with myself and him, because I am participating within a mind polarity construct of feeling good about myself when I perceive to be effective in this, and feeling bad and negative about myself, when I perceive myself to be ineffective, thus I am powering my mind to exist as ego.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to prove to my partner that I can see his points better than himself, when he is in resistance to admit them, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist admitting points to myself, instead of realising and understanding that by being reluctant to admit points to myself, I am only unnecessarily prolonging my process and fucking around with myself within wanting to hold up an image of myself that I want to project outwards.

When and as I see myself resisting facing a point within myself, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that when I allow myself to give into the resistance towards facing a point within myself immediately, I am compromising myself and my Process, therefore I investigate the point of resistance towards facing a point within myself, remove it with self-forgiveness and immediately face and remove the point that I was having resistances towards facing.

I commit myself to not allow myself to give into resistances towards facing points within myself immediately, because I realise and understand that if I do not face a point within myself immediately and put it off for another time, I am deliberately fucking with myself and deliberately causing myself to timeloop, thus unnecessarily prolonging my process and ignoring everything that is here in my self-interest because of which I do not want to face the point.

2 comments:

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