Day 121: Releasing various perceptions about food

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to food in terms of using/eating food in order to make myself feel better, whenever I feel bad, instead of eating food only to support my body. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create bad feelings within myself in order to have an excuse to eat food that I make myself feel better with, instead of realising and understanding that I am compromising myself with this behaviour.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish/want/need/desire that I could be like the thin people that can eat anything and everything and not get fat, instead of realising and understanding that I am desiring this from a point of addiction to food, where I am wishing that I could be able to indulge in food without any consequences to my body/appearance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be worried about how other people/my partner perceive my appearance/body, and whether they notice my excess weight, instead of realising and understanding that this fear is coming from a desire for acceptance from others, indicating to me that I have not accepted myself.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to accept and love and care for myself unconditionally regardless of how I look, and how much I weigh. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that I am searching for this in other people, instead of giving it to myself directly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of eating in public, and of what other people will think/say about me, when they see me eating, because I perceive/think that they will judge me for eating food, when I am fat already. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge people, who are fat, whenever I see them eating, and allow backchat such as "Why are they eating, if they are fat already" to run through my mind, within which I completely disregard the fact that every human being needs to eat, and am judging them and myself according to the knowledge and information that I have in my head about food and feeding, for which I know that it is limited and wrong.

When and as I see myself being afraid of food/feeding in public/in front of my partner, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am participating within some or other judgement that I have accepted and allowed to exist within me, therefore I identify it, release it with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath towards what is best for my body and eating food without judging myself for it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that I/everyone should be eating at least three main meals a day, breakfast, lunch and dinner, instead of realising and understanding that I and all of humanity are following a belief system, supported by the working ethics and habits of humanity, about a certain time that meals should be eaten at, not realising and understanding that we are not eating directly to support our body, but have adjusted feeding times and supporting our physical bodies to the systems of managing our time in order to make money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that whenever I am hungry, I am loosing weight, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel good about myself due to this perception, whenever I am hungry, although my physical body feels bad and weak.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel bad about myself, whenever I feel full, and think/believe/perceive that I will now be gaining weight, because I have allowed myself to eat until I feel full.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to indulge in foods, for which I have realised and understood that they do not support my body, and justify it with my anger towards people whom I perceive to be able to eat anything without any significant weight gain, instead of realising and understanding that within this I am abdicating my responsibility towards my body in order to support my food addiction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that what is good food for other people, must be good for me too, and that if I eat the same amount/type of food as another, I should get similar results, instead of realising and understanding throughout the years of experience that i have with food that this is clearly not the case.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel bad and left out, because I perceive that I cannot eat certain foods without consequences , therefore feel cheated out of the experience of being able to go eating with someone else and socialize while eating, instead of realising and understanding that here I am using food towards a completely different goal than supporting my physical body, which is socializing and bonding with other people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive food and eating as a social lubricant and a means of making friends and maintaining friendships, instead of realising and understanding that within this definition I have separated myself from food and everything else within this one energetic dimension.