Saturday, 16 February 2013

Day 115: My relationship with sweets



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel depressed, cheated, angry, sad, resentful, frustrated and feel sorry for myself, because I perceive that I cannot eat cake/sweets, because cake/sweets will make me fat.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that eating cake will make me fat, and feel cheated out of the experience of eating cake, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive eating cake as a treat, as a special experience, and define/perceive it to be better than salty foods.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/define deserts and sweets as comfort foods and reward foods, with which I will reward myself or make myself feel better about something, whenever I feel bad.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a special intimate relationship with sweets/food, where I would in my childhood steal money from my parents in order to go to the sweet shop alone on my way to music school, and I would buy myself a treat, because I have defined those bought treats as/with happiness and equated and connected them to the experience where my mother took me out to buy sweets, and I felt happy that day and that my mother is with me only, and therefore I connected sweets with safety and security and happiness and I tried to recreate that feeling within myself by buying sweets, whenever something was wrong in my life, and I wanted to recall that feeling of safety, security and happiness.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to buy sweets every time I get my paycheck, because I used to buy sweets from my mother's paycheck, when she would send me for it, when she didn't feel like going to get it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to crave sweets, whenever I feel bad or perceive that I have problems, and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to treat myself with sweets in order to make myself temporarily feel better, instead of realising and understanding that I am giving into an addiction, a sugar addiction, with which I want to run away from facing my problems and myself within them.
When and as I see myself wanting to eat sweets in order to compensate for a bad/negative feeling within myself, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am participating within a mind polarity construct, where I have defined sweets as something that comforts me and makes me feel better, but on the flip side I perceive that they make me fat, thus I will feel bad for eating them and believe that they will make me heavier, which they essentially physically do, therefore I release the trigger point of feeling bad with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that a life without sweets is unimaginable.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to live without having sweets in my life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive/feel that I couldn't survive/live happily without sweets.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive sweets as one of life's pleasures, and therefore want/need/desire to eat them.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that it would be hard to live without eating sweets, instead of realising that sugar is the enslavement tool that keeps me addicted to food/sweets.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that it would be hard to live without sugar and that I could never do it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to bake and make sweets for 'my loved ones' in order to show them 'love' and 'appreciation', instead of realising and understanding that I am participating within amind construct of wanting to be loved and appreciated and am buying those things with sweets so I would get them in return.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that my partner and my family and friends will like me more if I feed/give them sweets.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel love for the people that give me sweets.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive/equate sweets with love.

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