Tuesday, 12 February 2013

Day 112: "I'll leave you, before you leave me"



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to leave my partner, before it happens that he leaves me, instead of realising and understanding that I am participating within a mind polarity construct, where I will perceive/define myself as inferior, if it so happens that my partner leaves me, and will perceive/define myself as superior, if I leave my partner first, thus being in control instead of being the victim.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/define myself as a victim, if it would happen that my partner would leave me, and feel negative and inferior about myself, which I would then try to compensate with superiority as anger and violence towards my partner and anger at myself for trusting my partner and allowing myself to be burned again.

When and as I see myself wanting to run away and leave my partner, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that this is due to my fear of me feeling inferior and powerless, if it so happens that he leaves me first, and will perceive myself as a victim in that case, therefore I release the trigger point with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath towards what is best for me and my agreement.

I commit myself to through writing, self-forgiveness, and self-corrective application stop and remove all victimization points in my mind, where I abdicate my power and self-responsibility to fears of my partner leaving me, because I realise and understand that if I don't, I will compromise myself and our agreement by trying to compensate for that inferiority with superiority through and as wanting to control him and threatening to leave, whenever I perceive that something is not going my way.

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