Sunday, 3 February 2013
Day 105: I'm awfully grumpy in the morning
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be grumpy and bad-mooded in the morning, because I have connected and associated mornings in my mind with going to school and later going to work, which I didn't enjoy at all. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take out that bad mood and unhappiness onto and towards anyone and everyone that stands in my way in the morning - the closer the people are to me, the more I would be grumpy towards them, and as for people whom I consider to be less close to me, I would only have negative and spiteful thoughts about them, which I would verbalize towards/with people who I consider to be closer to me, instead of realising and understanding that I have just woken up from sleeping, which rejuvenated and rebooted and energized my mind, and I am participating within my mind's morning grumpiness construct, within which I would hate the whole world in the morning and feeling forced to do things that I do not enjoy doing, like going to school and going to work.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate and despise going to work and going to school, and therefore in the morning hate the world and the way it is set up, instead of realising and understanding that my anger and hatred towards the world and the system in the morning will not help or impact the situation, but will only further my own enslavement to my own mind, as I feed it energy through participating within negativity, frustration and inferiority as helplessness.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/define going to work and going to school in the morning as slavery that I do not enjoy, and perceive myself as a victim of the system for having to go to school to get an education and having to go to work to earn money for my survival, instead of realising and understanding that with these perceptions and definitions I am only furthering my own enslavement to the mind by participating in negative perceptions of these aspects of life, which I would then want to compensate for with positivity through entertainment after school and work, thus even more furthering my own inability to stand up within myself and stop and remove the system from within myself and stand and work towards creating an existence that will be best for all.
When and as I see myself being grumpy and bad-mooded in the morning, and looking for a victim to take that bad mood out on, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that my mind has rejuvenated and rebuilt and rebooted and upgraded itself through sleeping, and that I am participating within a very energetic pattern of hating the world due to having to work for my survival, and wishing/wanting/needing/desiring to be able to not have to work for my survival in a job, but could enjoy my life by doing what I would like to do and what I enjoy doing. Therefore I release the trigger point for my grumpiness through writing and self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath and do not allow myself to fall back into the pattern of grumpiness, because I realise and understand that this is not me, it is only a mind program.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel hopeless, helpless, sad and angry in the morning, instead of realising and understanding that by participating within these emotions, I am victimizing myself and abdicating my self-responsibility.
When and as I see myself feeling negativity in the morning, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am participating within my mind's search for energy, within which I can abdicate my self-responsibility and blame everything and everyone else for the way I experience myself, therefore I release the trigger point of the negativity with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.
I commit myself to through writing, self-forgiveness, breathing and self-corrective application stop and remove all my grumpiness in the morning, and remove my 'morning grump character', because I realise and understand that I have built this character to compensate with superiority as anger for the feeling of hopelessness and helplessness that I accepted and allowed myself to feel in the morning due to perceiving myself as a victim of the system.