Tuesday, 19 February 2013

Day 118: Spitefulness towards the fashion industry for promoting thin girls



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry at and spiteful towards the fashion industry for promoting thin girls and making thin girls popular in this world, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to the thin girls of the fashion industry and envy them their appearance and want/need/desire to be/look like them. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/desire to be a fashion model, and feel inferior, less than, negative and bad because I perceived that I am not able to do so.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be sad and angry, because I perceived that I was unable to compare and compete with the girls in the fashion industry, because I am not tall and not thin.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have spiteful thoughts and angry words for the fashion industry, and blame it and hate it for apparently making me feel inferior, instead of realising that I am the one that is making myself feel inferior through comparison and competition with the images of girls from the fashion industry.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate fashion designers and blame them for the way that I feel about myself, instead of realising that I am making myself feel this way by allowing myself to have thoughts, definitions, perceptions about my body in comparison and competition with the bodies of women in the fashion industry that get chosen by those designers.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine and fantasize about how it would be to be in the spotlight and have all the attention that fashion models have, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that fashion models are happy women due to having perfect bodies.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive the bodies of fashion models as perfect, and then feel inferior, less than, imperfect and negative about myself within comparing my own body to theirs. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare my body to those of fashion models, instead of realising and understanding that I am playing into a mind construct, where I have defined my own body as imperfect, and will therefore create friction within myself and generate negative energy for my mind to survive as ego.

When and as I see myself having any kind of opinions, perceptions, definitions, thoughts about the fashion industry, fashion models and fashion designers, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am participating within a mind polarity construct, where I will feel inferior to the whole concept of fashion because I perceive myself as fat and therefore unfit and unworthy of participating with the fashion industry, and I will want/need/desire to be thin and fantasize about how superior I would feel and experience myself, if I was thin. I also realise and understand that wishing to feel superior due to feeling inferior is not equality but the ego wanting to validate and prove itself, therefore I release the points, thoughts and constructs with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath without having thoughts/perceptions about the fashion industry.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to be able to wear small clothes that models are able to wear, and perceive/define myself as unable to wear those clothes, instead of realising and understanding that most of those clothes support sexual manipulation within this world, and when I wish that I could wear those clothes, I am in fact an abuser.

When and as I see myself wishing that I could wear skimpy clothes in order to sexually manipulate men, and perceive myself as too ugly and fat to do so, I stop and I breathe. I realise that I am participating within an energetic pattern of the mind, within which I keep myself preoccupied with myself only, my own happiness/unhappiness in self-interest, and disregarding myself in equality and disregarding all that is here. Therefore I release the thought with self-forgiveness and direct myself without them.

I commit myself to stopping and removing all spitefulness that is existing in me towards the fashion industry, because I realise and understand that as long as I have any kind of energetic movement in me about the subject, I cannot take into consideration everything that is here objectively.

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