Thursday, 7 February 2013

Day 108: Reactions when playing games




I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react with anger and frustration with myself, whenever I do not pull off a move while gaming, instead of realising and understanding that I am angry, because I want to impress people with my skills, and when I fail, I get angry.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that I have mad gaming skills, and become frustrated with myself, whenever I make a mistake when gaming.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become frustrated, whenever I die in a game, instead of realising and understanding that I am being energetic about something that is not real, physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become angry with other players and blame them for having failed at a game, instead of realising that I am participating within the classic abdication of self-responsibility that I am trying to avoid and get rid of within my process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to identify myself with the games that I am playing and use them as part of my self-presentation factors, instead of realising that with this I am supporting my mind as ego within validation and search for attention.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become caught up in games to the extent of losing my awareness and becoming completely lost within the world of the game, instead of breathing and remaining here and being aware that I am only playing a game.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use games in order to run away from reality, myself and my responsibilities, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play games in order to make myself feel better and forget about my responsibilities, thinking, believing and perceiving that everything will be ok and that my responsibilities and problems will sort themselves out, instead of realising and understanding that with that sort of attitude I have rendered myself into the position that I am today.

When and as I see myself wanting to run away from reality with gaming, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am trying to run away from my responsibilities and hoping that my problems will take care of themselves, thus I am no different to an addict that runs away with drugs/alcohol. Therefore I release the starting point of wanting to run away with games with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath towards solving my problems first and then having fun with games.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to challenge myself with games and want/Need/desire to be the best at gaming, instead of realising and understanding that I am participating within self-judgement and self-validation and I am competing against myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive gaming as fun, instead of realising and understanding that gaming is of the entertainment industry, designed specifically to keep me occupied with myself and enslaved in time so that I would never stand up for what is best for all.

When and as I see myself having emotional responses and energetic experiences with gaming and loosing or winning, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am not in fact having fun, but am competing with myself and others, therefore I release the points with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.

I commit myself to through writing and self-forgiveness and breathing and self-corrective application stop and remove all points of competition that I have when playing games, because I realise and understand that competition within games is the same competition that makes this planet unfriendly to Life.

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