Day 114: My relationship with food

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think about food the first thing in the morning, when I wake up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think about food and eating it to make myself feel better, whenever I perceive that I have a discord and problems with my partner.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the attitude of "I don't care how much weight I gain", whenever I perceive that I have a problem with my partner and want to eat in order to make myself feel better, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to punish my partner by gaining weight and not looking my best for him anymore.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to restrict my food intake in order to loose weight for my partner so that my partner would be satisfied with my looks.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid that I gain weight every time I think about food.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel frustrated that I have to be careful about what I eat.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ask myself how people who have no problems with weight live their life without thinking about food.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/define my morning coffee as a treat and running away from reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel frustrated, whenever my partner looks at me and then think/believe/perceive that he doesn't like the way I look.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worry and think about what food is made of, what kind of ingredients it has and how many calories it has.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge/define food as bad and something that will harm me if I eat it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be ashamed of eating in front of my partner and think/believe/perceive that he is judging me for the amount of food I'm eating, instead of realising that I am judging myself about the amount of food that I am eating.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for the amount of food I eat, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to eat more than my body needs in order to make myself feel good with food.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that I must eat everything that is on my plate, because children in Africa are starving, instead of seeing the fallacy of this statement.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive tortilla chips with nachos to be a reward food and a food that I can enjoy when watching a movie.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect and equate food that I eat while watching a movie with having great pleasure.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to eat while watching a movie and think/believe/perceive that this is making both experiences more enjoyable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect and equate food with enjoyment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use and abuse food in order to create a feeling of enjoyment within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel happy and satisfied, whenever I eat food.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive eating food as a social activity and an activity that will bring me and my partner closer together.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from food in defining it as something that I enjoy, that brings me joy, and also as something that brings me grief, because I believe that I get fat when I eat food.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame food and hate food, because I become fatter when I eat it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to envy and be jealous of people, whom I perceive to be able to eat all the food they want and not get fat, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry with my partner and blame him and accuse him that he doesn't understand why I am fat, because he doesn't have the same problems with food that I have.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive my relationship with food as 'problematic'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/define food as my biggest problem in life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive myself as a food addict, instead of realising and understanding that within this I am giving into the pattern of hopelessness and abdication of self-responsibility, because "I cannot do anything about being fat, I am a food addict"

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that I cannot loose weight no matter how hard I try, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be frustrated, because I perceive that I cannot loose weight.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to loose weight in order for my partner to like me, instead of realising and understanding that I am playing into the construct of being afraid of loosing my partner, if he doesn't like the way I look.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel feelings of shame and disgust with myself, whenever I take twice to eat, and think believe and perceive that my partner and people in my surroundings are going to judge me for it, instead of realising and understanding that I myself am judging people who take food twice and enjoy their food as guilty of being fat and being pigs that indulge in food without consideration for their weight.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to loose awareness of the food that I am eating when watching something or reading something while eating.