Friday, 22 February 2013

Day 119: Feeling uncomfortable around others due to being fat



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel uncomfortable around other people, because I am fat, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of other people judging me and ridiculing me for being fat, instead of realising that I am judging and ridiculing myself for being fat, which I have learned at an early age, when I was being judged and ridiculed by my peers and parents and family.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a pattern of self-judgement and self-ridiculing and self-deprecation within myself, based on the judgement, ridiculing and deprecation that I used to endure as a child, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel sad, angry and resentful, and create a self-pitying pattern, for being ridiculed for being fat when I was a child, instead of realising and understanding that within self-pity I am abdicating my self-responsibility for what I feel and what I allow within myself through thinking that I have no control over it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry and resentful towards people, whom I perceive to be making fun of me and judging me for being fat, instead of realising and understanding that this can only have an effect on me, if I allow it to have an effect on me, therefore I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel hurt and inferior and less than, whenever I perceive that other people are making fun of me and judging me for being fat.

When and as I see myself feeling uncomfortable with myself around other people for being fat and fearing their judgement, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am participating within a self-judgement construct, where I will fear that others might perceive me as inferior for being fat, because I myself am perceiving and judging myself as inferior for being fat, and will want, need and desire to be thin in order to not perceive and judge myself this way, instead of breathing and being here and not allowing myself to go into self-judgement about my appearance. Therefore I release the trigger point and pattern with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath without judging myself through the eyes of others.

I commit myself to through writing and self-forgiveness and self-corrective application stop and remove all points of feeling uncomfortable with myself around other people, and when I am alone, because I realise and understand that this discomfort is coming from a point of self-judgement, therefore I will identify and release the point immediately.

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