Sunday, 2 December 2012

Day 64: "Do I bother you with my presence?"




I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel insulted, whenever I see and perceive that I am bothering someone with my presence, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be bothered with other people's presences due to wanting to keep up a fake image of myself, instead of realising that I am playing a polarity game of the mind, where I will feel superior and more than, when/as I perceive to have the opportunity and possibility of presenting myself in a certain way and for people to perceive me the way I want them to perceive me, and will feel inferior and less than and consequentially angry, when I perceive that I do not have the chance and possibility for people to perceive me the way I want them to perceive me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel feel inferior and scared, when I perceive that other people find my presence bothersome, and feel superior and encouraged, when I perceive that other people like my presence, instead of realising that I am participating within a polarity construct of the mind, within which I separate myself from myself and all that is here, I generate friction for the creation of energy for my mind to survive as ego.

When and as I see myself going into inferiority or superiority about what I perceive people to be thinking about my presence, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am participating within a polarity construct of the mnd, within which I am validating myself with my perception of other people's opinions of me, therefore I release the trigger point with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel angry and disappointed at people, when/as I see/perceive that they are bothered by my presence, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior to people, who I perceive to be bothered by my presence, and then try to compensate for that inferiority with superiority, within which I will be angry at them for not saying it to me directly and call them cowards, instead of relising that I am participating within a mind construct, within which I generate energy for my ego and am abusing my physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire for people to never be bothered by my presence, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to prove myself to others as valuable company so that they would want to let me stay, instead of realising that within doing so, I am compromising myself and allowing other people's opinions and feelings to have power over me.

When and as I see myself desiring to prove myself to others as valuable company so that they would let me stay with them, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am validating myself with my perceptions of the opinions of other people, therefore I release the trigger point with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.

When and as I see myself fearing people whom I perceive to be bothered with my presence, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am giving my power away to my perceptions of  opinions of people in my vicinity, therefore I release the trigger point and direct myself in breath.

I commit myself to through writing and self-forgiveness stop and remove any and all validations of myself with my perceptions of people's opinions of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate people by talking other people into talking to them for me, and present my wishes/needs/desires/opinions as their own, in order for me to not have to face this responsibility of talking to those people directly, but use others to do my bidding and achieve my goal, because I am too afraid of facing the first people myself.

When and as I see myself wanting to manipulate someone through a third party, by manipulating the third party to do my bidding with the person I want to manipulate, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am participating within my mind's manipulative energetic games, within which I will feel superior and more than for being able to manipulate a third party into doing my bidding, and will feel inferior, whenever I perceive I am unable to do so, therefore I release the trigger point of wanting to manipulate someone through a third party with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel worried that I am bothering someone with my presence, when I am at a place that I do not consider/define/perceive as my own directly or indirectly through friends/partners/family, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of people's reactions, when and as I am visiting with someone, and I perceive that a third party involved is unhappy about my presence.

When and as I see myself becoming worried about third parties having problems with my presence, when I am visiting someone, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that by doing so, I am only powering my mind as ego with negative energies, therefore I release the trigger point and I direct myself in breath.

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