Day 123: Tackling the weight loss/gain patterns

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive going out to eat with my partner/family/friends/alone as a special and pleasant activity. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel better, more than, superior and good, whenever I go out to eat with my partner, friends and/or family, as opposed to eating at home, which I have defined as normal and ordinary.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive going out for a slice of cake or other sweetness with my partner/friends/family as a bonding activity, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel cheated out of being able to have sweets, because when I have sweets, my body gains weight.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that when I gain weight, I become ugly, and think/believe/perceive that my partner thinks that I am ugly, when I gain weight, and then be sad and angry with myself and resentful towards my partner, instead of realising that I am projecting my own fears and beliefs onto my partner, which I will then believe him to be holding, and will feel inferior and less than and negative, not realising and understanding that I am participating within a mind polarity construct, where I believe that when I loose weight, I look better, and when I gain weight, I look worse/ugly.

When and as I see myself being angry with myself for gaining weight, and wanting to compromise my body by not eating, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am participating within a mind polarity construct, where I judge/define/perceive myself as inferior and less than, whenever I gain weight, and will want to compromise my body by depriving it of food, and will feel superior, more than and good about myself, whenever I loose weight, and will on this side think/believe/perceive that now I can afford to eat "normally", and will eat the foods that I eat that make me gain weight, thus capturing myself into the same cycle of weight loss and gain. Therefore I release the trigger point and thought patterns with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath towards what is best for my body, and eat what I know makes me feel ok and not bloated and heavy and tired.