Saturday, 30 March 2013
Day 136: Fear of break ups
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid that my partner will meet a new girl and that they will fall in love, and that he will break up with me, and that I will be left alone, feeling inferior, less than, negative, bad and beaten, instead of realising and understanding that I am the one that is generating these definitions and perceptions about being broken up with, and that whatever my partner might do or say has nothing to do with me. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in violent thoughts such as "I will kill him and do something bad to him if that happens", instead of realising and understanding that I am reacting to my own self-accepted inferiority in this potential situation with superiority as anger in an attempt to balance myself out within the mind polarity construct that I am participating in.
When and as I see myself becoming afraid that my partner might leave me for another girl or whatever other reason, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am participating within a self-validation mindconstruct, where I will generate constant fear of being broken up with and justify it with the belief that I am not good enough, not pretty enough, not thin enough and not young enough for my partner to like me, and I realise and understand that all of these thoughts I am generating within myself and then projecting onto my partner, therefore I release the trigger point of the fear of being left/broken up with with self-forgiveness, and direct myself in breath and not allow myself to participate within these self-destructive thought patterns any more.
I commit myself to stopping and removing all fear of being left/broken up with, because I realise and understand that a break up can only affect me, when I have allowed myself to define myself with my partner/partnership, therefore I commit myself to remove all definitions of myself with my partner and within partnerships, and stand as one and equal in breath with myself and all that is here, and not allowing myself to be dependent on another/my partner.