Thursday, 14 March 2013

Day 129: Wanting to have a tiny waist




I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to have a tiny waist like all the women in cartoons, magazines and movies that I have compared to, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior, less than, negative and bad about myself, because I perceived that I didn't have a tiny waist, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be jealousof all the women that I perceived to be thinner than me and had a thinner waist, and wish/want/need/desire to have a waist like them. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge, perceive and define my waist as too big, and I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to feel bad, because I perceived tiny waists to be pretty and I perceived myself as unable to show off my waist as a sexual mating call.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/define/judge a waist that has fat on it as ugly, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/judge fat hanging over one's waist and over my own waist of my pants as unattractive and ugly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that other people find my waist to be too big and ugly, instead of realising that I am the one that is defining it as such and feeling bad about it, based on my comparison with the thin women in media and my surroundings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be/become angry, frustrated, resentful, annoyed with myself and sad, because I perceive that my waist is not good enough to attract male looks, instead of realising and understanding that I am participating within a mind polarity construct that I have built up based on pictures of women from the media and the word of mouth of people that said that a thin waist is an attractiveone, and a 'fat' waist is unattractive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive a woman's waist as her sexual attribute, with which she can lure and seduce men, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge/perceive/define myself as inferior and less than, because I perceived that I am not able to lure and seduce men, because I perceived my waist to be too unattractive and big/fat to be able to do so, instead of realising and understanding that I am participating within mind constructs of sexual manipulation, with which I keep myself occupied in my mind, creating energy for my mind to exist as ego with these definitions, and disregarding all that is here by trapping myself within this single mind dimension of wanting to have a tiny waist to be sexually attractive in order to manipulate men with sex into providing me with safety in this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to check and observe my waist in my reflection, whenever I pass a mirror or a window, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel bad, less than, inferior and negative, whenever I perceive my waist to be too big, when I am not dieting and starving myself in order to be thin to be able to sexually manipulate men, and on the flip side I would feel goodabout myself, when I would see/perceive my waist to be adequately proportional to the rest of my body and good enough to be able to attract men, instead of realising that I am participating within self-judgement and creating energy through creating yet another definition for my mind to exist as ego.

When and as I see myself having any thoughts about my waist, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am participating within a mind construct, where I will compare my waist to those of other women, and will feel inferior, if I perceive that my waist is bigger/larger/more fat than another's, and will feel superior and more than, if I perceive that my waist is smaller/thinner than another's. I also realise and understand that I am defining waists as a sexual factor/attribute, therefore I will release the thoughts with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.

I commit myself to through writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application stop and remove all thought patterns and constructs and perceptions that I have about my waist and other people's waists, because I realise and understand that all the definitions that I have built up throughout the years are only perpetuating and feeding my mind as ego.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be jealous of men with tiny waists, and perceive it as a waste of waist on a man, because a man doesn't have to sexually manipulate with his waist.

Ridiculous!!!

No comments:

Post a Comment