Thursday, 4 September 2014

Day 192: Feeling threatened by other people's success



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel threatened, compromised and diminished by someone else's success.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior, less than and bad about myself, whenever I see that someone has succeeded in a point which I would like to or am trying to succeed in myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel jealous and envious of someone whom I perceive has succeeded in a point or points that I am trying to succeed in myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attach a positive value to the word success and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel superior, whenever I perceive that I have succeeded within something and on the flip side feel inferior, whenever I perceive that I have not succeeded.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attach a negative value to the word failure and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferiorless than and negative and bad about myself, whenever I perceive that I have failed in/with some point.

When and as I see myself feeling inferior, whenever I see/perceive that someone else has succeeded in/with something that I would like to succeed in/with as well, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that within that moment I am participating in comparison and competition constructs of my mind, therefore I immediately release the trigger point and thought pattern, I forgive myself for comparing and competing within my own thoughts, and I direct myself in breath and do not allow myself to have any energetic reactions towards the success of others. 

commit myself to stopping and removing any and all energetic/emotional reactions towards other people's successes and my own as well, because I realise and understand that any kind of emotional reactions to success spring from my own comparison and competition mind constructs, with which I abuse myself and potentially others as well while allowing my mind to run rampant with polarity constructs thus feeding it energy to survive as ego.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect and equate success with winning, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like a winner, whenever I perceive that I have succeeded at something, and on the flip side feel as a loser, whenever I perceive that I didn't succeed at something. Within this I also forgive myself for feeling like a loser in the light of another's success within a point that I myself would like to succeed in.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel sad and angry with myself and blame myself for failing or not succeeding, whenever I see/perceive that someone else has succeeded in a point that I would like to succeed within as well, instead of realising and understanding that I am judging myself and with that limiting myself within comparison and competition.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to myself in the face of another's success with the thoughts/words: "They can do it, they are strong, you cannot do it, you are weak", instead of realising and understanding that within that very moment of addressing myself as "you", I am experiencing and allowing and accepting the ultimate separation of myself from myself through energies of wants/needs/desires/competition/comparison, and I am allowing my mind as ego to have complete directive principle over me.

When and as I see myself having backchat and talking to myself about how and what I am like within comparison to another's success or failure, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am in that moment accepting and allowing myself to be severely separated from myself into multiple characters that are having a fight, therefore I stop my thoughts with breathing, I apply the necessary self-forgiveness and I direct myself in breath with awareness and do not allow myself to have inner conversations with myself.

commit myself to becoming aware of my internal conversations with myself and stopping them, because I realise and understand that in the moment of having an internal conversation with myself, I am fragmented and separated into multiple dimensions which are run automatically by my mind, and I do not have any directive principle over myself, but am abdicating it to my mind as ego which is in that moment feeding itself energy to survive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel superior, whenever I see/perceive that someone has failed in a point that I was working with as well, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel called and justified to give advice to that person and help them from the starting point of wanting to fortify and cement my feeling of superiority over them, instead of realising and understanding that I am participating within my mind's ego polarity construct of feeling positive, more than and superior in the face of someone's failure, and on the flip side will feel negative, less than, and inferior in the face of someone's success, all stemming from comparison and competition of my mind as ego with which I generate energy for it to survive.

When and as I see myself feeling superior, positive and good about myself in the face of someone else's failure, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am in that moment participating with my mind as ego in constructs of comparison and competition, therefore I release the trigger point and thought pattern with self-forgiveness and I direct myself in breath, not allowing myself to have any energetic movement within myself towards another's failure, but direct myself in equality towards doing what is best for us both within the context of what is best for all.

commit myself to stopping and removing all feelings of superiority in the face of someone else's failure, and all feelings of inferiority in the face of someone else's success with points that I am working with myself, because I realise and understand that with those feelings I am allowing separation within myself form myself and all that is here, and am not being the directive principle of myself, but am abdicating that function to my mind as ego and am feeding it energy to survive.

next point will be: misery loves company

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