Tuesday, 25 September 2012

Day 37: Wanting to let others know when I'm in a relationship


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel proud of myself, whenever a man wants to kiss me in public and show his affection to me, which means that he is not ashamed of me but proud to be with me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that my partner must be ashamed of me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that my partner is ashamed of me because of me being overweight
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire for my partner to be proud of me and be proud of being with me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid that my partner is ashamed of me and of being with me because I am overweight
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel sorry for myself because I think/believe/perceive that my partner must be ashamed of me and cannot be proud of me because I am overweight
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that my partner cannot possibly like my body and me, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry with my parnter, because IIII believe that he cannot like me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt my partner whenever he says that he likes me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire for my partner to kiss me in public and hold my hand in public, so that other people would see that we are a couple
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire for other people to know that I am in a relationship, whenever I am in one
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel superior to the rest of the world and exhilarated, whenever I am in a fresh relationship
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior to the rest of the world, whenever I am not in a romantic relationship
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to be in  a romantic relationship, where the man will be all nice to me and gentle and hug me and kiss me and appreciate me, instead of realising that I can give all those things to myself
When and as I see myself wanting to be in a romantic relationship, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that romantic relationships are a preprogrammed design, made to keep me forever occupied with finding that 'one person' who will 'make me complete', so that I wouldn't realise that I already am complete.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see/perceive myself as incomplete, when I am not involved in a romantic relationship.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that I must be involved in a romantic relationship in order to be seen/perceived as 'normal' in this world, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like I'm not normal, when I am not involved in a romantic relationship.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attach a negative connotation to the word 'relationship'
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word relationship by defining relationships as hard, when I am in fact jealous of people who can get whomever they want because they 'look good'
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that people who I define as good-looking have no problems getting a partner that they want, and witihn this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be jealous of people whom I perceive have no problems getting a partner that they want

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