Tuesday, 4 September 2012

Day 32: Self-forgiveness on being responsible for my creations - part 2


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to talk to other people about my process from the starting point of wanting to persuade them that doing process is awesome, so that I would have 'company' and 'someone to talk to about it', instead of realising how I am trying to make myself superior and more than within doing so.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire for people to praise me because of the progress that I have made with process, instead of realising that I do not need anyone's confirmation on my progress but my own.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to brag about how I have regained control over my body, instead of realising that I am trying to make myself superior and more than other people within that.
When and as I see myself wanting to brag to others, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that this is stemming from wanting to prove myself as superior, because I feel inferior, therefore I investigate the point, release it with self forgiveness and direct myself in breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to 'get throutgh to people' and make them do process, instead of realising that this is yet again a point of superiority to ballance out inferiority, therefore when and as I see myself wanting to persuade others to do process, I stop, breathe and release the point with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react with dismay and hopelesness, when/as I see/perceive others not wanting to apply themselves, and within that I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the thought »I cannot do this myself, alone, I need other people to do it too, because we need to implement the EMS«
When and as I see myself feeling alone and lonely in terms of not having anyone to talk to about implementing the EMS, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that we are in no way near any kind of practical action in terms of implementing the EMS, therefore I release the point with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel more than and superior, when/as I see/perceive someone worshiping me for my progress, instead of realising that I am defeating the whole point of process within doing so. When and as I see myself wanting to feel or feeling superior to others due to process, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am compromising myself and others with these thoughts, therefore I release them with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to have the protection of a group and be able to rely on the group members for support, instead of realising that within doing so I am abdicating my absolute self-responsibility.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to balem other people for understanding me wrongly, instead of taking full responsibility to express myself in a way so that they do not understand me wrongly.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider how other people will understand me when and as I express myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to express myself in such a way so that I could feel superior and more than others.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire for other people to tell me how different I am from others.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to be perceived as 'different', instead of realising that this is only my mind's construct of enslavement, designed to never allow me to realise myself as equal and one with everything.
When and as I see myself wanting to be different, special and more than others, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am in no way different than other people, therefore I release my want with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel guilty, when/as I see/perceive someone misunderstanding me, instead of realising that guilt is absolutely useless, and that I can only prevent this by taking into consideration how other people will understand me, when I express myself. Therefore when/as I express myself, I carefully consider how others will accept it, and express myself accordingly.
When and as I see myself wanting to talk to others about process, I stop and I breathe. I do not allow myself to talk from a point of wanting to appear superior, instead I release it with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.

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