Thursday, 6 September 2012

Day 33: The desire for exposing people


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to expose people, whom I perceive have hurt me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be spiteful and vengeful towards people, whom I perceive have hurt me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that I have the right to expose people when/as I see/perceive them hurting me, instead of realising that I am generating my own feelings of hurt and want to blame another/others for it, with which I am abdicating my absolute self-responsibility.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that other people can hurt me, instead of realising that only I can allow myself to be hurt.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that the perception that others have hurt me is coming from my mind, which is trying to abdicate my full self-responsibility.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to make others 'think bad' about people whom I perceived have hurt me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as 'feeling hurt', whenever I see/perceive people not acknowledging me as an equal.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as 'feeling hurt', whenever I see/perceive people disregarding me as an equal.
When and as I see myself becoming 'hurt', I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that this is an emotion that I am generating myself within myself, therefore I release the trigger points with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.
I commit myself to stop feeling hurt and blaming others for making me feel this way, as I realise and understand that I am solely responsible for the way that I am experiencing myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame/judge people, when/as I see/perceive them disregarding me/not acknowledging me as an equal.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become angry, annoyed, scared, resentful and vengeful, when/as I see/perceive people disregarding me as an equal.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire for other people to acknowledge me as an equal, instead of realising and understanding that only when I treat others as equals will I be acknowledged as an equal too.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take it personally and feel less than and inferior, when/as I see/perceive people not acknowledging me as an equal.
When/as I see/perceive others not acknowledging me as an equal, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that it is me who is making me feel unequal, therefore I release the point of inequality with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire for my partner to regard me as an equal, instead of realising that I have to regard him as an equal first, in order to get acknowledged as an equal.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to gossip and talk shit about other people in order to impress my partner and make him like me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think about other people and look for their mistakes, so I could point them out to my partner and within that make myself superior and more than, so that he would like me more.
When and as I see myself thinking/talking about other people, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am thinking and talking about others so that I would not have to face myself and my own shit, therefore I immediately bring the point back to self, apply self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.
I commit myself to stop focusing on others and focus only on myself and my own process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior and less than, when/as I see/perceive my partner/other people not wanting to talk to me and interact with me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into anger, blame, judgement, resentment and vengefulness, when/as I see/perceive my partner/others not wanting to talk to me and interact with me, instead of simply remaining here in breath and not allowing myself to go into inferiority.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior and afraid of 'loosing communication', when/as I see/perceive my partner/other people not wanting to talk to me and interact with me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of not being able to effectively communicate with my partner/other people.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to validate myself and make myself superior within communication with my partner/other people, instead of realising that I am creating friction and resistance within doing so, this defeating my purpose of equalising myself.
When and as I notice myself wanting to make myself superior and more than within communication with my partner/other people, I stop and I breathe. I do not allow myself to go into superiority, as I realise and understand that this is my inferiority complex due to being fat manifesting itself in the opposite polarity, therefore I release the trigger points with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.
I commit myself to stop all inferiority, fear and superiority within myself when communicating with other people, as I realise and understand that they only create friction and resistance within communication, which disables me to share myself and communicate myself effectively.

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