Monday, 13 August 2012

Day 25: Interaction with my partner


I’ve been waking up in a bad mood lately, because my partner is avoiding communication and contact with me, and I feel hurt and betrayed because of that.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be in a bad mood and feel hurt and betrayed, when/as I see/perceive my partner not wanting to spend time with me and interact with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to spend all my free time with my partner, because I have defined it as more fun to be spending time with my partner than spending time alone.

When and as I see myself wanting to spend time with my partner, I stop and breathe. I realize that this want is of the mind, therefore I release the point with self-forgiveness and direct myself with common sense.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive the time that I spend with my partner as more fun than the time I spend alone or with other people, because there is sex involved in interaction with my partner.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look forward to the time when my partner gets home, because that increases the chances of us having sex together.

I realize and understand that wanting to spend time with my partner and have sex with him is the mind not wanting to face itself, therefore when and as I see myself thinking about having sex with my partner, I stop and breathe. I do not allow myself to go into the desire for sex. Instead I release the point with self-forgiveness and direct myself with common sense.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel hurt, disappointed, angry and betrayed, when/as I see/perceive my partner avoiding contact and interaction with me, instead of remaining here in breath and directing myself with common sense.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel hurt, betrayed, disappointed and angry, when/as I see/perceive my partner talking shit behind my back and fraternizing with other people in order to make himself superior to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience myself as resentful and vengeful towards my partner, when/as I see/perceive that he is fraternizing with other people against me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to take revenge on people that I see/perceive gossiping about me behind my back.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of people gossiping behind my back and me not being there to defend myself.

When/as I see myself going into fear and thoughts about what other people are doing when I am not there, I stop and I breathe. I realize that what other people say about me has nothing to do with me, therefore I release the point with self-forgiveness and direct myself with common sense in breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become dependent on my partner for having fun, instead of me being fun for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry with my partner because I see/perceive that he would rather spend time with other people than with me.

When and as I see myself emotionally reacting to my partner’s behavior in relation to me, I stop and I breathe. I do not allow myself to go into reaction, instead I release the point with self-forgiveness and direct myself with common sense towards what is best for all.

2 comments:

  1. Cool Hilda - obviously you realize your mind is messing with you. Is your partner a Destonian?

    ReplyDelete