Day 69: Wanting my partner's friends and family to like me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for past indiscretions and violent behaviour towards my partner, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior and less than and guilty for having been violent towards my partner in the past, instead of realising that with this I am participating within a timeline polarity construct, within which I will feel inferior and less than when I perceive that my partner is judging me and blaming me for my past acts of violence towards him, and I will feel neutral/positive when I perceive that my partner is not judging and blaming me for my past acts of violence towards him.

When and as I see myself judging and blaming myself for my past acts of violence towards my partner, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that judging and blaming myself for my past acts of violence towards my partner is not going to correct the past, because the past does not exist anymore - I can only direct myself towards what is best for both of us in this breath. Therefore I release the trigger point of judging and blaming myself for my past acts of violence towards my partner with self-forgiveness and do not allow myself to have any kind of violent reactions towards him within myself, because I realise and understand that with them I am making myself superior, more than and bossy, thus creating friction and separation within myself and between me and my partner and not allowing myself/us to openly communicate and cooperate, but am creating fear and distrust.

I commit myself to through writing and self-corrective application stop and remove all violent thoughts from within me, because I realise and understand that with allowing violent thoughts to exist within me, I create fear, resistance and separation, instead of equality, therefore when and as I see myself having violent thoughts and feeling the energies of violent thoughts in my chest and stomach area and my muscles tightening from them, I will immediately stop, breathe, investigate and remove the thoughts and patterns with which I have allowed myself to generate violent thoughts within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react with inferiority and feel guilty and ashamed in front of my partner's friends and family, when and as I see and perceive that they are holding on to memories of my past violent acts towards my partner and are judging/blaming me for it. I realise and understand that this is due to me judging myself and generating judgement and blame towards myself within myself, and has nothing to do with how other people perceive me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to prove myself as a 'changed person' to my partner's family and friends, instead of realising that within this I am wanting to validate myself through my perception of their opinion of me, thus I am participating within a polarity mind construct, where I will feel superior and more than and positive, when I perceive that my partner's family/friends are accepting me and are not judging me for my past acts of violence towards my partner, and I will feel inferior, less than and negative, when I perceive that my partner's friends/family are judging/blaming me for my past acts of violence towards my partner, thus I am creating separation within myself by wanting to be perceived by my partner's friends and family as 'good' and feeling 'bad', when I perceive that my partner's friends/family are perceiving me as 'bad', which I will want to compensate by projecting superiority with which I will want to achieve my partner's friends/family to perceive me as good enough for me to be with my partner.

When and as I see myself wanting/needing/desiring for my partner's friends and family to perceive me as 'good enough to be with him', I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am wanting to validate myself through the eyes of my partner's friends and family, for which I will be ready to compromise my self-expression and adjust it to what I perceive my partner's friends and family would approve of and find ok, which will be a projection of superiority, false modesty, I will want to present myself as highly educated and intelligent and pretty, and I will stop myself from talking about things that I perceive they might perceive as 'negative' in order to not cause them to dislike me and not approve of me. Therefore I will immediately remove my desire/want/need to be preceived by my partner's family and friends and other people as 'good' with self-forgiveness and I will not allow myself to adjust my self-expression to what I perceive they would like to hear and see.

I commit myself to through self-forgiveness and self-corrective application stop adjusting my self-expression to what I perceive other people would like in me, because I realise and understand that by wanting other people to like me - I am compromising my self-expression and my standing for equality by not talking about 'problems', because I wouldn't want to make people feel bad by making them aware of the problems in the world in order for them to feel good in my company and like me and want to be my 'friends' and want to help me in the future in case I need their help. I realise and understand that by adjusting my self-expression to other people - I am abdicating my self-responsibility in this world and hoping that other people will be responsible for me if they like me, and I am compromising my standing for equality and diminishing my application and manifestation of equality.

Day 68: Paranoia

This is how I write myself out when I'm in the most terrible turmoil and cannot even think straight.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience violence within myself when and as I see/perceive that my partner doesn't want to live with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rely on my partner that we will live together, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior and scared and less than, when I see/perceive that he doesn't want to live with me, and feel superior, more than and like a winner, when I see/perceive that he does want to live with me.

When and as I see myself reacting to my partner not wanting to live with me, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I want to live with my partner so that I wouldn't have to be absolutely self-responsible, therefore I release the trigger point with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.

I commit myself to stopping and removing any and all reactions to my partner not wanting to live with me, because I realise and understand that this is stemming from me not wanting to be alone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/define my partner as a person that will never stand up within himself without my help whenever I see/perceive that he is dwindling from process, instead of realising and understanding that within this I am making myself feel superior and more than him in order to mask my being insulted, whenever I perceive that he doesn't want to stand up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire for my partner to do process in order for him to want to be with me, because he would see in common sense that it is the best option that he has, instead of realising and understanding that within this I am trying to force him to do process, which results in friction as separation and I am feeding my mind with energy.

When and as I see myself wanting my partner  to do process, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that this is due to my fear that otherwise he will not want to live with me, and if that happens, I will feel defeated and less than and inferior, which I am trying to avoid by making him do process, therefore I release the trigger point with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.

I commit myself to stopping and removing all desires to push my partner to do process, and I commit myself to embrace my partner, because I realise and understand that if I push him to do process, I will cause friction as separation between us and cause the opposite effect of the intended one.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react with anger, frustration and resentment, whenever I see/perceive other girls/people trying to persuade my partner to not be with me and to not move in with me, instead of realising and understanding that I am exerting anger as superiority, because I feel inferior to them and am afraid that they might succeed.

When and as I see myself becoming angry at other people, when I perceive that they want to persuade my partner into not being with me, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that this is coming from a point, a polarity construct within my mind, within which I compete with those people, and want to win over them, and will feel superior and more than, if I see/perceive that my partner is listening to me, and will feel inferior and less than, when I perceive that my partner is listening to them, thus I am feeding my mind energy through friction within myself, therefore I release the trigger point with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.

I commit myself to stopping and removing all reactions of anger and frustration towards people whom I perceive are trying to persuade my partner into not moving in with me, because I realise and understand that this frustration is coming from a point of competition, which I do not allow myself anymore.

I commit myself to stopping and removing any and all points of desiring validation within myself from other people, because I realise and understand that by validating myself through the eyes of others, I am powering my mind as ego through wanting to get positive affirmations from them, so I would feel superior, and will feel inferior if I don't get affirmations from them, or when I get feedback from them that I perceive as negative.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react with anger, frustration, indignancy and resentment towards people, whom I perceive to be communicating to me with a superior tone and make fun of them in my head that they want validation for their superiority, instead of realising and understanding that I am reacting from a point within myself, where I try to make myself superior to others.

When and as I see myself reacting towards people whom I perceive to be superior to me, I stop and I breathe. I realise that I am reacting like this because I feel inferior to them somehow, therefore i release the point of inferiority with self-forgiveness and idrect myself in breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior to someone who I define/perceive to be the boss in an apartment, and therefore feel like I have to listen to them , give them respect and be quiet around them, instead of realising and understanding that I am compromising myself with this.

When and as I see myself feeling inferior to x/women, and compensating it with superior backchat within myself, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am participating within a mind polarity construct, where I make myself feel inferior to people who have money and perceived power, and will compensate with nasty backchat in the style of "you're so limited" within me, thus powering my mind as ego, therefore I release the trigger point with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.

I commit myself to stopping and removing any and all points of inferiority and superiority towards x/women, and communicate myself openly with her/them, because I realise and understand that otherwise I am creating friction within myself and between us and causing separation to feed my mind as ego.

Day 67: Allowing my choices to be influenced by others (part 1)

Big headache today. Didn't write enough due to loads of work, which I couldn't do because of the headache. Couldn't properly concentrate on my writing either, so I took painkillers, made myself a little loop.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to base my life choices on the opinions of others and what they would say about a choice of mine, instead of realising and understanding that within this I am compromising myself and my well being in order to make other people happy within my wish for acceptance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel pressured about making choices that would make others happy, instead of realising that by wanting to make others happy, I am neglecting myself and my own life within my desire to be accepted by others, where I will make choices that I perceive they will like, and perceive that with this I am showing respect, not realising and understanding that I am compromising myself in order to fulfil my desire to be accepted by others.

When and as I see myself wanting to make choices just so that I would keep other people appeased/happy in order for them to like me, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that with this I am compromising myself, I am playing into a mind construct, an energetic game where I want others to like me, for which I'm willing to compromise myself, therefore I release the trigger point with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.

I commit myself to stop making choices that would make other people happy, because I realise and understand that within doing so, I am not considering what is best for me, but am compromising myself in order to get others to like me or to not dislike me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of and worried about people's responses whenever I give them information that I perceive they will not like, because then I am fearing that they will not like me, instead of realising and understanding that I am participating within a mind relationship construct within which I wish to give people information that I perceive they will like, so that I could through their feedback feel good about myself and validate myself as one that is liked by people, and on the flip side I will fear giving people information that I perceive they won't like, and will then be afraid of them not liking me, and will feel inferior and less than.

When and as I see myself fearing people's responses to the information that I give them, because I perceive that they won't like it, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that by doing so, I am compromising myself by participating within a mind energetic construct of validating myself through other people's words and thoughts and my perceptions of their perceptions of me, therefore I release the point with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.

I commit myself to stopping and removing all points of fearing people's responses, because I realise and understand that in fearing their responses I am allowing myself to give my power away to my perceptions of their perceptions of me, thus feeding my mind with energy within a construct, where I will feel superior and more than, when I perceive that people have a positive perception of me, and will feel inferior and less than, when I preceive that people have a negative perception of me.

Day 66: Perceived security with others and secrecy within a partnership

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not fully and completely trust myself, when I am alone, but need other people around me in order to feel safe and secure, because I do not trust myself that I will be able to take care of myself financially, if I remain alone, instead of realising and understanding that I already did take care of myself, when I was alone, and by fearing to be alone and not trusting myself when I am alone, I am participating within a mind polarity construct, where I will feel safe and secure around other people and define/perceive them as support, and rely on them to take care of me and back me up financially more than I rely on myself, within which I am giving my power away to those people, and on the flip side I will feel usafe and insecure, when I do not have other people around me that I could define and perceive as support and a 'safety net' in my life.

When and as I see myself needing/wanting/desiring to be around other people and have other people around me in order for me to feel secure and safe and financially backed up, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I have defined safety and security with having money and having other people that have money around me, which is a polarity construct of my mind, within which I will feel safe and secure if/when I perceive that there is enough money as security in my vicinity and at my disposal for my survival, and will feel unsafe and insecure, when there are no other people around me with money - where I will have to rely on myself only - and will feel insecure because I do not trust myself fully and completely to be able to take care of myself financially and ensure my own survival within this world. Therefore I release the trigger point of desiring other people to be around me for support with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.

I commit myself to through writing and self-forgiveness stop and remove all wants/needs/desires for having other people around me for material and financial support, because I realise and understand that within needing other people to support me, I am not standing on my own as myself, but am giving my power away to relationships with other people, I am making myself dependent on them and I am not directing myself, but rather am allowing myself to be directed by decisions that are being made by the people that I have allowed myself to rely on.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust my partner to make decisions that will be beneficial to me and not trust my partner in general, instead of realising and understanding that I am building this distrust based on memories of past experiences with my partner, where I have allowed myself to feel hurt and wronged by my partner and his decisions, not realising and understanding that by allowing these memories of past experiences to exist within me, I am building up a mind construct of distrust and separation within myself towards my partner, within which I will need/want/desire to have control over every little thing that he does and says in order to make myself feel secure and sure that his decisions are beneficial to me and that he is not abusing my trust for his own self-interest, and I will feel positive, more than and superior, when I perceive that I have that constrol over him, and feel inferior, less than and negative, when I perceive that I do not have that constrol over him.

When and as I see myself not trusting my partner to make decisions that are benficial to me, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that this distrust is actually coming from me not trusting myself to take care of myself alone fully and completely, and I am actually relying on my relationship with my partner to take care of me, within which I am abdicating my power and self-responsibility to the relationship construct, therefore I investigate where I do not trust myself completely and fully, remove the points with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.

I commit myself to through writing and self-forgiveness stop and remove all distrust that I have towards my partner, because I realise and understand that this distrust is stemming from me not trusting myself to take care of myself in every moment of every breath and is connected to my fear of the future and not being able to take care of myself financially in the future, therefore I will remove all points/future dimensions of the mind, within which I participate, and bring myself back here into breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in secrecy manipulate my friends into manipulating my partner or another man into doing my bidding and act the way I want them to act, instead of realising and understanding that within this I am making myself superior in secrecy, and I am hiding from others in order for them to not see the nastiness of my plans, because I know that within common sense I would not pass with my behaviour.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to get men/my partner to meet with me in secrecy and hidden from other people, so that I could manipulate them emotionally into serving my self-interest, instead of realising and understanding that I am hiding behind my "right to a private conversation" in order for me to through (self)manipulation and lies have them do things and act the way I want them to in my self-interest, not realising and understanding that I am participating within a polarity construct of the mind, where I will want to feel superior to other people that I am hiding this from by manipulating in secrecy, and will feel inferior to other people, which is the cause of me manipulating in secrecy, so that I could not be overpowered or countered by other people's arguments/common sense.

When and as I see myself wanting to talk to another person in secrecy, I stop and I breathe. I check my starting point for wanting to speak to them in secret, because I realise and understand that I mostly want to speak to others privately, because I have something to hide from others/want to lie, for which I need privacy, within which I will feel secure and so compensate for feeling inferior and being afraid of other people judging me for my thoughts and words, therefore I release the desire to speak to someone in private and direct myself in breath.

I commit myself to stopping and removing all needs for privacy within myself, because I realise and understand that wanting to have privacy means that I want to lie to/manipulate other people/myself, which is a construct of the mind, within which I am looking to have power over others with manipulation.

Day 65: "I'm better than you and keep your hands off my partner"

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into an energetic state of wanting to prove myself to new people that I meet as an educated person of broad horizons and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compete and want to win over other people in our mutual company and prove myself to the new person as better than the rest of the people in our mutual company, instead of realising and understanding that I am participating within a comparing and competing construct of the mind, within which I will feel superior to others in the company when I perceive that the new person is impressed by me, and will feel inferior to others in the company when I perceive that the new person wasn't impressed by me.

When and as I see myself wanting to impress new people with my knowledge and information and broadness of horizons, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am participating within a mind construct in which I will want to experience more of myself as superiority and positivity, and with this I am separating myself from myself and all that is here, therefore I release the point with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.

I commit myself to stopping and removing any and all points of wanting to impress new people and prove myself to them as superior to others, because I realise and understand that within doing this I am separating myself from others within superiority and putting others in an inferior position, thus creating separation and friction between us, and am the cause of inequality and jealousy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to make other people in my company jealous of me and my knowledge and information and broadness of horizons by talking to new people in the company, instead of realising that with this action I am causing friction as separation from myself and all that is here.

When and as I see myself wanting other people to be jealous of me within not being able to compare to my knowledge and information and compete with my broadness of horizons, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that this need is coming from a feeling of inferiority towards the people that I want to be jealous of me, therefore I release the point with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.

I commit myself to stopping and removing all need for making other people jealous of me from within me, because I realise and understand that I am simply wanting to get back at those people, because I am jealous of them at some point, therefore I will remove that point with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react with jealousy and anger and a feeling of ownership towards my partner, when I see another woman touching him, instead of realising and understanding that I am participating within a relationship construct of the mind, where I perceive my partner as my ownership and therefore off limits to any other woman, therefore I will react with anger and spitefulness when another woman touches my partner and feel inferior to her and scared that she might want to overtake him, and I will feel secure and safe within the partnership, when other women do not touch my partner.

When and as I see myself emotionally reacting to other women touching my partner, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am participating within a mind relationship construct, within which I own my partner, and within which I make myself superior to other women and my partner by perceiving myself as the owner of my partner, therefore I release the point with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to touch other women's partners and disregard their reactions to my action of touching their partner and justify it with "I am allowed to touch him, he is not their ownership, I'm not doing anything wrong", instead of realising and understanding that I am in fact looking for that man's approval, attention and wanting to have a special relationship of trust with him, within which I will make myself feel superior, because I perceive myself as able to touch him and have this special bond with him despite the fact that he has a partner, within which I will make myself feel superior to his partner and so power my mind as ego with this energy of feeling good/positive/superior.

When and as I see myself wanting to touch other women's partners, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am participating within a mind polarity construct, within which I want to make myself superior to other people by being able to touch someone who is otherwise perceived as "off limits", therefore I release the point with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.

I commit myself to stopping and removing all needs/desires/wants to touch people, because I realise and understand that touching people is a (self) manipulation point, within which I will try to make myself feel superior and more than and positive within the notion that I am able to touch someone and don't have the generally accepted mindfuck that we people have about touching other people, thus I am making myself feel superior within the notion that I am able to overcome that mindfuck 

Day 64: "Do I bother you with my presence?"

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel insulted, whenever I see and perceive that I am bothering someone with my presence, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be bothered with other people's presences due to wanting to keep up a fake image of myself, instead of realising that I am playing a polarity game of the mind, where I will feel superior and more than, when/as I perceive to have the opportunity and possibility of presenting myself in a certain way and for people to perceive me the way I want them to perceive me, and will feel inferior and less than and consequentially angry, when I perceive that I do not have the chance and possibility for people to perceive me the way I want them to perceive me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel feel inferior and scared, when I perceive that other people find my presence bothersome, and feel superior and encouraged, when I perceive that other people like my presence, instead of realising that I am participating within a polarity construct of the mind, within which I separate myself from myself and all that is here, I generate friction for the creation of energy for my mind to survive as ego.

When and as I see myself going into inferiority or superiority about what I perceive people to be thinking about my presence, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am participating within a polarity construct of the mnd, within which I am validating myself with my perception of other people's opinions of me, therefore I release the trigger point with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel angry and disappointed at people, when/as I see/perceive that they are bothered by my presence, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior to people, who I perceive to be bothered by my presence, and then try to compensate for that inferiority with superiority, within which I will be angry at them for not saying it to me directly and call them cowards, instead of relising that I am participating within a mind construct, within which I generate energy for my ego and am abusing my physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire for people to never be bothered by my presence, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to prove myself to others as valuable company so that they would want to let me stay, instead of realising that within doing so, I am compromising myself and allowing other people's opinions and feelings to have power over me.

When and as I see myself desiring to prove myself to others as valuable company so that they would let me stay with them, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am validating myself with my perceptions of the opinions of other people, therefore I release the trigger point with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.

When and as I see myself fearing people whom I perceive to be bothered with my presence, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am giving my power away to my perceptions of  opinions of people in my vicinity, therefore I release the trigger point and direct myself in breath.

I commit myself to through writing and self-forgiveness stop and remove any and all validations of myself with my perceptions of people's opinions of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate people by talking other people into talking to them for me, and present my wishes/needs/desires/opinions as their own, in order for me to not have to face this responsibility of talking to those people directly, but use others to do my bidding and achieve my goal, because I am too afraid of facing the first people myself.

When and as I see myself wanting to manipulate someone through a third party, by manipulating the third party to do my bidding with the person I want to manipulate, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am participating within my mind's manipulative energetic games, within which I will feel superior and more than for being able to manipulate a third party into doing my bidding, and will feel inferior, whenever I perceive I am unable to do so, therefore I release the trigger point of wanting to manipulate someone through a third party with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel worried that I am bothering someone with my presence, when I am at a place that I do not consider/define/perceive as my own directly or indirectly through friends/partners/family, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of people's reactions, when and as I am visiting with someone, and I perceive that a third party involved is unhappy about my presence.

When and as I see myself becoming worried about third parties having problems with my presence, when I am visiting someone, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that by doing so, I am only powering my mind as ego with negative energies, therefore I release the trigger point and I direct myself in breath.

Day 63: "My parents never taught me to be financially self-responsible"

I commit myself to stopping and removing any and all feelings of insecurity and unsafety within myself due to money, because I realise and understand that by participating within these mind dimensions I am worrying about the future and feeling inferior and less than, through that powering my ego and not being here in breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry at my family/parents, because I perceive that they didn't take care of me financially when I was little, instead of realising and understanding that by allowing these memories as thoughts to exist within me, I am generating energy for my mind to survive as ego, to control me and have power over me.

When and as I see myself remembering any point about having grown up with no money and having to see other people have more money than my family, and within this compare our situations, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that by participating within these thoughts, I am allowing spitefulness towards people with more money than me to exist within and as me, with which I separate myself from myself and all that is here, I generate friction for the creation of energy for my mind to exist as ego, therefore I release the point with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.

I commit myself to through writing and self-corrective application stop and remove any and all thoughts/memories/patterns/constructs about money that I have within me based on the past, because I realise and understand that by thinking about money, I am participating within the basic system of energy creation for my mind, and am supporting the abuse in the world from within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry at and spiteful towards my parents, because I perceive that they never prepared me for the fact that I need to have a job and take care of myself and be financially self-responsible, instead of realising and understanding that I am simply shifting my self-responsibility onto them through blaming them, because I did see and realise and understand that I will have to get a job and take care of myself financially, I just never wanted to accept it as a fact, and therefore I would rather blame my parents for not preparing me for a job instead of taking full responsibility to take care of myself within this world and taking full responsibility for fixing this world, because I didn't like it.

When and as I see myself going into blame towards my parents for 'not preparing me for a job within this world', I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that this is simply a mind construct , within which I am abdicating my self-responsibility for taking care of myself financially, therefore I release the trigger point with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.

I commit myself to through writing and self-forgiveness and self-corrective application stop and remove all blame towards my parents and family for my current financial situation, because I realise and understand that this is only me trying to avoid being self-responsible, which I do not accept and allow within myself anymore.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry and spiteful towards my aunt, uncle, all the relatives that I perceive to have more money than me, and x, for not wanting to share theri wealth with my family, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to share my excess money with others in fear of not having enough money in the future, instead of realising and understanding that by saving money for the future, I am participating within a polarity mind construct, where I will feel superior, positive, more than and safe, when I perceive that I have enough money and have some spared for the future, and will feel inferior, less than, scared and unsafe, negative, when I perceive that I do not have enough money for the future, thus I am separating myself from myself by judging myself as inferior and less than for not having money, with which I separate myself from myself and all that is here, and generating friction within myself for the creation of energy for my mind to survive as ego.

When and as I see myself becoming angry and spiteful towards people that I perceive to have more money than me, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that by participating within these thoughts, I am supporting and enforcing the basic foundation of the system within me, therefore I release the point with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.

I commit myself to stopping and removing any and all points of anger and spitefulness towards people with money from myself, because I realise and understand that by being angry and spiteful towards people whom I perceive to have more money, I am creating separation as friction witihn myself to create energy for my mind as ego, with which I support the outer capitalistic system of abuse.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that my family should be taking care of me financially, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rely on my family to always be my financial safehaven, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like I have lost my financial security when my father died, instead of realising and understanding that by participating within these thoughts, I am abdicating my self-responsibility through blaming my family/parents for not being responsible caretakers of my financial state and making them responsible for something that I know within myself that I myself am responsible for .

When and as I see myself wishing/wanting/desiring to have a family that I would have financial safety in, or wanting to have anyone else as a financial background for myself, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that by participating within these thougths, I am giving in to fear and laziness, and not wanting to take full responsibility for taking care of myself financially, therefore I release the thought construct with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.

I commit myself to through writing and self-forgiveness and self-corrective application stop and remove any and all points of desiring to have someone else as a financial backup for myself, because I realise and understand that by participating within such points, I am abdicating my full responsibility for taking care of myself financially in this world, thus making myself inferior to those people and giving up my power to those points/people, thus powering my mind to exist as ego.