Saturday, 14 June 2014

Day 187: How words create my world

A few years ago my flatmate asked me to be honest with her. It was a touchy subject, and I should have anticipated that she would take my honesty hard, but I didn't, because I was caught up in my own desire to be seen as an honest person, as well as the belief that as long as one speaks the truth, nothing bad can happen, because the truth shall always prevail. (Assange and Snowden are proving this collective belief to be quite wrong.)
So while being caught up in my own conglomerate of beliefs, fears and desires, I was completely unaware of how my words would actually impact this person, whereas had I been clear of all this mental garbage, I would have clearly seen that my honesty was not going to have a positive outcome for this relationship, and sure enough, it crumbled and stopped.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to speak before considering what kind of impact my words would have on the person that I am speaking to.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become so energetically possessed as to become completely unaware of the words that I am speaking and what kind of impact they are having on the people around me.

When and as I see myself being energetic and wanting to speak, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that if I speak from an energetic reaction, I am only causing discord and chaos, because I am not directing my words in breath within the context of what is best for all, but rather trying to prove a point, therefore I release the trigger point and thought pattern with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath, and speak only when I am clear of all energetic reactions.

I commit myself to stopping myself whenever I see that I am being energetic, and within this I commit myself to really seeing myself whenever I am being possessed by anger/pride/vanity and effectively stopping myself in that moment with breathing within the realisation that speaking in that state of unawareness is going to have consequences that are not favourable.

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