Monday, 29 April 2013

Day 145: Shit is Fucked, let's Fix it

The river caught my eye today. It was as greyish brown from the pollution as ever, but today there was some shit floating on the surface as well, and it looked absolutely disgusting.
I remembered my childhood and how rivers used to be clear, the water was see-through, and one could see the fish in it.

The sky was all grey and misty as well, from the shit that they spray it with all day long. There were no real clouds, only water vapour that has condensed onto the powdered condensation cores. On a sunny spring or summer day one can observe the man made creation of "clouds" happen: first there's blue skies, like spring and summer skies are supposed to be like, and air planes spraying long trails across the sky. Sometimes the sky is completely zigzagged with these trails. Several hours later the trails dissipate, and form a canvas of formless water vapour. The skies become grey, but there is no rainfall. Only greyness.
I remembered my childhood, when spring and summer skies were blue as the sky, with little fluffy clouds in them.

I have a new hobby. On my way home from the big shopping centre, where I can find everything, from shoelaces and tomatoes to TVs the size of a wall, I count the closed down little shops in the city. Only in my short street, with only 20 or so house numbers, there were 6 of them last month. This week I have noticed that 2 more shops closed down. The windows of apartments above the shops have dusty and sun-bleached signs "for sale" on them.

Every part of this bio-social-system is falling apart, but no one seems to notice. I glanced to my right, and saw a bunch of younger students jumping, laughing and yelling at each other, having "fun", completely oblivious to the decaying world they're in. I was like that too, before I started my Process. I just wanted to have fun, I wanted to laugh and go to parties in the weekends, so that I would rest from the tiring studying and later working all week long.
And then I started my Process of self-forgiveness, of deprogramming my mind, of birthing myself into the Physical, the Journey to Life - it has many names. Each day I stepped a little more out of the Human Drama, I stopped being a participator in it, an Actor, and became more and more an Observer. I started becoming aware of what it is that I was participating in - the slow, but sure demise of my home planet. I did this by racing along the other rats in this completely and fully accepted rat-race for "happiness". Now when I watch this world and other people exist in the sad state that I existed in even a few years ago, it's like I'm watching a scary science-fiction movie. It truly and utterly looks more and more like the Matrix and a zombie movie combined.

Slowly but surely I am Stopping my part as an actor in this movie. I realised and understood that "happiness" cannot exist without "sadness/unhappiness", therefore I am stopping both polarities within myself. What I am gaining is an awareness that I am actually a co-Creator of this existence, and therefore I have commit myself to become a Creator of a different world. One in which every being's Life is supported by the planet, and where every being supports the planet, because that's how it's supposed to be.

The sad part is that I see children, who have never known the Nature I have known - with blue skies and clouds of different forms, and rivers that show the stones on their bottoms. To them grey waters and sprayed skies are normal. Dirty empty closed shops with signs "for sale" are normal. Just like it is "normal" to us that money and happiness are the main goals in life, and that people in Africa are starving. That's just the way things have always been. Or is it?

This is how the river and sky looked in my childhood,

and this is how they look today.

Let's stop the Human Drama, and become Creators of a Decent World, which we all want so badly.
To stop one's own Drama, visit and
To stop the Global Drama, visit
To educate oneself more on both dramas, visit and poke around the forums a bit.

This world is as it is, because we are as we are. The world is collapsing, because we are collapsing on the inside. Something is terribly wrong, and we mostly don't know what it is that is wrong. It has become impossible to form successful relationships outside of facebook nowadays, have we noticed this? All newly formed relationships tend to fall apart quickly, and the old ones simply don't cut it any more. That is because our whole existence has been based on lies, we're walking Lies ourselves, we've completely become Apathy and Denial.

It's time we wake up and become self-willed co-Creators that do what is best for All.

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