Day 205: Stopping my judgments towards healthy living

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge and laugh at people, who consume organic foods and are interested in organic solutions and body cleanses and health tips and ayurveda and holistic medicine, instead of realising and understanding that by doing so, I have put myself in my mind onto a pedestal of 'knowing better', thus in a superior position to them, with which I generate energy for my mind to exist as ego. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to now feel ashamed of myself for investigating the same things, after being concerned that my body has become toxic after years of consumption of polluted processed food, and I also forgive myself for being ashamed of making fun of these people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge/perceive/define people who are interested and are investigating healthy living as health freaks and hypochondriacs, instead of realising and understanding that I am using this perception as a way of making myself feel superior to them, and I am on the flipside of this construct feeling inferior to them as being someone who doesn't have the money to play along in this what I perceived to be a fad. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to label/perceive/define looking for organic foods and caring about health as a fad, not realising and understanding that I have also created this perception in order to make myself feel superior.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be/become irritated and feel superior, whenever someone talks about organic food and alternative medicine, not realising and understanding that I am doing so from my own limited standpoint of having been educated within the westerner medical/pharmaceutical system, in which I learned (and adopted this knowledge as an ego point to feel superior through knowledge) only about western research and experiments, which are kept in strict separation within different disciplines, and I accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that separate disciplines are a way to take on science, not realising and understanding that everything within the physical bodies of all beings and everything in nature is interconnected.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive holistic medicine as a bunch of bullshit, not realising and understanding that I have picked this belief up from my father, and have taken on his negative view of it and made it part of my ego/personality, instead of investigating holistic medicine for myself and making my own conclusions about it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive myself to be an expert on medical/health/pharmaceutical issues due to having been educated in those fields, and thus become irritated and angry, frustrated, resentful and spiteful, whenever that knowledge is challenged, by reacting with inferiority by taking it personally by feeling that I am not being respected as an individual who was educated in these things, thus I am reacting by lashing out with superiority and try to discredit the source of information and act like my source of information is the only valid one, instead of realising and understanding that I am participating within my mind's polarity construct of superiority and inferiority, within which I am only generating energy for my mind to exist as ego, and thus am limiting myself from learning new things.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive myself to be an expert in dieting and healthy eating because I have read some books on it years ago, instead of realising and understanding that I have trapped myself into a very limited mind construct of considering only that data to be reliable, and shunning all other data as not reliable, not realising and understanding that I have allowed this to become an ego point with which I generate energy for my mind and am not taking into consideration any other type of research or even considering trying out new things for myself.

When and as I see myself in any way energetically reacting to topics about health, weight loss, diets, natural healing, organic foods, ayurveda, holistic methods, alternative medicine and anything that is related to the health of the physical body and nature, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I have allowed myself to become limited by knowledge that I took in throughout my life, and have started to shun any other knowledge that doesn't relate to and fall in with my own sources of knowledge, and that in the moment of reaction I am participating within my mind's polarity construct of inferiority and superiority around knowledge, with which I only fuel my ego with energy. Thus I stop myself, I breathe, I do not allow myself to act on the reaction, but I release the trigger point and thought pattern with self-forgiveness and direct myself within the awareness that I do not know everything, that I have much to learn and that different things work differently for different people.

I commit myself to stopping and removing all my energetic reactions towards knowledge and information about the physical body and nature, about health and dieting and medicine and pharmacy, because I realise and understand that any kind of energetic reactions towards this knowledge means that I have created a personal relationship with it in my mind, with which I generate positive or negative energy within myself to keep my ego going, and am thus limiting myself and not allowing myself to expand by taking in new knowledge and information.