Tuesday, 25 November 2014

Day 204: Feeling neglected by my parents


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience unhappiness due to my mother and father drinking and fighting. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my parents for giving me an unhappy childhood, not realising and understanding that I am myself within my own body generating the feeling of unhappiness and is therefore my own responsibility to deal with and remove. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my parents for me being fat due to eating in order to make myself happier and forget, not realising and understanding that it was my own decision to eat and so try to make myself happier to compensate for the feeling of unhappiness.

When and as I see myself wanting to blame my parents, especially my mother, for having had a difficult and unhappy childhood, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am in that moment participating within my mind's victimization construct, where I will shift responsibility to how I feel, how I experience myself and how I came out in life, what I've created out of my life, onto my parents. Therefore I remove the trigger point and thought pattern with self-forgiveness and I direct myself in breath not allowing myself to participate within the victimization construct, because I realize that I have created it in order to not have to take responsibility for my life and my choices.

I commit myself to removing my victimization construct from my mind, because I realise and understand that I have created it within myself in order to no to have to be held accountable for my actions, choices and decisions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my parents for not helping me identify and develop my talents into skills, instead of realising and understanding that the responsibility for developing my skills lies wholly within myself, and blaming my parents is just an excuse with which I shift responsibility onto them because I myself was too lazy and didn't give myself direction to develop my talents into skills.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry and disappointed with my parents for never helping me properly develop my talents into skills, instead of realising and understanding that with these emotions I am giving myself permission to not develop my skills on my own and limit myself to not being skilled and justify it with the emotions I have towards my parents.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my parents and my unhappy childhood for all the mistakes, bad decisions and bad choices that I made in my life, not realising and understanding that with this blame I am keeping myself in a bad place of bad choices and decisions, because I am abdicating my full self-responsibility and ability to change myself and my ways.

When and as I see myself wanting to blame my parents for not helping me develop my skills during childhood, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am participating within my mind's limiting victimization construct by shifting responsibility for developing my skills onto my parents, and I am inhibiting myself from taking responsibility to develop my skills myself. Therefore I breathe, I do not allow myself to go into the victimization construct, I remove trigger points and thoughts with self-forgiveness and direct myself within the awareness that no one is to blame for anything that happened in my life, and that I am responsible for everything that I do or not do.

I commit myself to removing all points of blame towards my parents, because I realise and understand that by blaming my parents, I am justifying to myself the status quo, I am making up excuses and justifications for it, I am abdicating my absolute self-responsibility and I am inhibiting myself from directing myself towards where I would like to be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel angry, sad, frustrated, resentful, neglected and disappointed, when I saw that my parents are not too interested in what is going on in my life, how I am doing in school, how I feel, what things I need, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to label them as bad parents and blame them for everything bad that would be happening in my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to develop a construct of feeling neglected by my parents within my mind, within which I would blame them, especially my mother, for everything that went wrong in my life, not realising and understanding that by participating in this construct, I am abdicating my absolute self-responsibility for my life.

When and as I see myself wanting to bring up in my mind the emotion of being neglected by my parents/my mother, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am in that moment participating within abdicating my absolute self-responsibility by wanting to blame my parents for how I feel - I am participating within my victimization construct. Therefore I stop, I breathe, I do not allow myself to participate within my mind and so feed it energy, but I remain in breath and remove trigger points that I see come up with self-forgiveness.

I commit myself to stopping and removing my mind constructs around feeling neglected by my parents and other people, because I realise and understand that I am with those constructs only harming and limiting myself, and inhibiting myself from taking absolute self-responsibility and directing myself towards where I want to be.

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