Monday, 24 November 2014

Day 203: Defiance


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a point of defiance, whenever someone, especially my partner, dares me to do/not do something, where I will go and not do/do that exact thing in order to 'stand my ground' against them, instead of realising and understanding that with this action I am actually creating friction within myself and the other person, I am generating energy for myself as my mind to exist as ego, and I am not taking into consideration the other person, but I am being deliberately spiteful towards them, thus I am not standing equal to them, but I am opposing them and harming our relationship.

When and as I see myself wanting to go into a position of defiance, where I will take a dare and make it personal and will take a stance that is opposite of the other person's in order to validate myself as 'standing my ground', I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am in that moment participating within my mind as ego in order to generate energy for it to survive, I am not standing as an equal to all that is here, and I am harming myself and my relationship to the other person. Therefore I release the trigger point with self-forgiveness and I direct myself in breath and do not allow myself to go into the point of defiance towards the other.

commit myself to stopping and removing all points of defiance from myself, because I realise and understand that within defiance I am generating conflict within myself and my world for the sake of generating energy for my mind to survive as ego, thus I am harming myself and am limiting myself into a mind construct and am not standing equal to all that is here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect and equate going into defiance towards another and doing the opposite of what they are asking/telling me to do with pride. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel proud of myself, whenever I take a stance that is opposite of the one of the person that I perceive is daring me, therefore I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel superior within that pride and in my mind make myself more than/superior/better than the other person, instead of realising and understanding that I am participating within my mind's polarity construct, where I am compensating for the feeling of inferiority that I experience whenever I am being dared to do something.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior/less than/diminished, whenever I see/perceive that someone is daring me to do something, and think/believe/perceive that if I do not take their dare and do the opposite of what they want/ask, then I am a coward.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react with anger, resentment, frustration, fury, whenever I see/perceive that someone is challenging me to do something in their own emotional reaction, instead of realising and understanding that by allowing myself to react emotionally to their state, I am accepting their energetic challenge, and I am participating within my own mind's construct of inferiority and superiority, where I will try and prove myself to the other person and myself as superior, and will resort to all kinds of violent behaviour, not realising and understanding that I am harming myself and the other person in the process in order to generate energy for my mind to exist as ego.

When and as I see myself emotionally reacting to what I perceive to be another person's challenge, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am in that moment compromising myself and the other person, I am compromising our relationship, all for the sake of generating energy for my mind as ego. Therefore I stop myself with breathing, I release the trigger points and thought patterns with self-forgiveness and I direct myself in breath not allowing myself to go into an emotional energetic reaction towards the person whom I perceive to be challenging me, but I direct myself within the realisation that only I myself can make myself feel challenged and also make myself feel not challenged.

I commit myself to stopping and removing any and all emotional reaction towards people whom I perceive are trying to dare me, challenge me, because I realise and understand that only I myself can make myself feel challenged and also only I myself can stop this feeling within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like a victim, whenever I see/perceive that someone/my partner is trying to challenge me, dare me to do or not do something, or is trying to hurt me, insult me, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into the emotions of sadness and inferiority and powerlessness, instead of immediately stopping myself and not allowing myself to go into emotional reaction.

When and as I see myself feeling like a victim, going into sadness and inferiority and powerlessness, whenever I perceive that someone is trying to challenge me/dare me into doing or not doing something, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am participating within my mind's polarity construct, where I am in that moment focusing on the negative energies, with which I feed my mind as ego in order to survive. I also realise and understand that I will eventually as the mind try to go into the positive polarity of the construct by trying to return the insults, the hurtful words, with which I will try to within myself generate the feeling of superiority and being more in order to compensate for the feeling of inferiority, and with them will try to put the other person down in order to achieve that. I realise and understand that this behaviour is unacceptable and highly harmful for everyone included, and I also realise that within that I am limiting myself into one small polarity construct of my mind, where I am then not standing equal to the other person/people and all that is here. Therefore I stop myself with breathing, I release the trigger point of feeling like a victim and all thoughts that create the feeling and the potential consequential thoughts of the opposite polarity, and I do not allow myself to go into any kind of energetic reaction towards people whom I perceive are trying to challenge me and dare me to do or not do something.

I commit myself to stopping and removing all of my energetic reactions towards/within situations, where I see/perceive that someone is trying to challenge me/dare me into doing/saying or not doing/saying something, because I realise and understand that by participating within energetic reactions towards and within such situations, I am only feeding energy to my mind as ego, and I am creating a potentially dangerous, harmful and compromising situation, which is unacceptable.

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