Sunday, 23 November 2014

Day 202: Releasing the desire for falling in love




I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist and live within and as the desire for lovey-dovey feelings and emotions of 'falling in love'. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fantasize and desire and want and need to have physical contact with a boy I find cute within this emotion/feeling of 'falling in love' and think/believe/perceive that I cannot live without this experience and that this experience is the meaning of human life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive the experience of falling in love and the hormonal bliss it brings as something that I should ultimately strive for in my life.

When and as I see myself fantasizing about having a hormonal lovey-dovey relationship, when I see myself fantasizing about the excitement and exhilaration and ecstasy of 'falling in love' and kissing and having sex with a new man, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am participating within the desire for the addictive substances that my mind releases in my body whenever a new relationship like that occurs, and I also realise that this is a way of my mind countering perceived boredom and monotony, therefore I release the trigger point and thought pattern and I direct myself in breath.

I commit myself to stopping and removing all my desires for new relationships and all my desires for feeling the rush, excitement, exhilaration and ecstasy of 'falling in love', because I realise and understand that this is an addictive pattern of my mind as ego, where I look for a higher experience of myself to feel good, superior, nice, lovey-dovey, because I have not accepted experiencing myself as enough.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive the everyday living experience of myself as 'not enough', as not fun enough, and therefore look for a heightened experience of myself as myself falling in love and experiencing the lovey-dovey hormonal experience of excitement, exhilaration and ecstasy with another in order to feel better than by myself in my everyday experience of life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from myself by defining /perceiving my everyday experience of myself as not enough and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from myself by looking for/seeking a higher/heightened experience of myself as the hormonal exciting exhilarating ecstasy-like experience of falling in love with another human being and having a romantic/sexual relationship with them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive having a romantic/sexual relationship with another human being as 'more than' my everyday life experience of myself, not realising and understanding that this is how I separate myself from myself by looking for a higher experience of myself within a romantic/sexual relationship with another.

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