Day 193: Misery loves company

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel miserable whenever I perceive that I am not succeeding with something and/or when something is not going according to my plans.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, whenever I feel miserable, look to other people to support my misery, and instead of me immediately taking responsibility for the way I experience myself and correct myself with self-forgiveness and with breathing, turn to other people to justify the way that I am feeling and talk to them about my misery from the starting point of wanting them to commiserate with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel justified and elevated within feeling miserable, thus allowing myself to keep the point with which I made myself miserable at status quo and doing nothing about it, instead of realising and understanding that I am participating within my mind and feeding it energy and am with that limiting myself and taking my own power to do something practical and change the point away from myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want other people to tell me what a poor thing I am, thus empower my misery, whenever I am miserable about a point that I haven't succeeded in, in order to further justify my own inability to handle the point, instead of realising and understanding that I am severely limiting myself with this kind of behaviour.

When and as I see myself becoming miserable whenever I perceive that I am not able to handle something, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that with this emotion of misery I am limiting myself from finding a practical solution by justifying to myself that I cannot handle the point I am being miserable about and will even go as far as looking for other people to confirm this experience of myself. Therefore I immediately release the trigger point and thought pattern behind the misery with self-forgiveness and I direct myself in breath towards finding a solution to the point and do not allow myself to limit myself with feeling miserable.

When and as I see myself engaging or thinking about engaging other people into a conversation about the point of my misery, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that this is a point of abdication of self-responsibility, where I want to talk to others in order for them to help me justify my misery and empower it, thus confirm my inability to be self-responsible and find a solution to the point that I'm being miserable about. Therefore I stop myself with breathing and release the trigger point and thought pattern behind wanting to confirm and justify my misery, and direct myself in breath towards finding practical solutions and I do not allow myself to limit myself with misery and look for other people in order to justify it.

I commit myself to, whenever I am seeing myself becoming miserable, stop and remove all points I can find about the uprising emotion with self-forgiveness and self-corrective application, because I realise and understand that when I allow myself to be miserable, I am abdicating my self-responsibility and power to find solutions to whatever is bothering me and causing the misery.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to support other people's misery, whenever we talk about points that make them miserable, instead of realising and understanding that I am justifying their inability to direct the point into an outcome that would be best in the context of best for all and disempowering them from doing so, because I would prefer it if they would support my mind like that as well, if I came to them, which I realise and understand is unacceptable.

When and as I see myself engaging in conversations with people that are miserable within a starting point of validating and justifying their misery, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am supporting their mind in limiting them from actually finding solutions for their points, because I would want them to reciprocate like that if the roles were reversed, and I also realise and understand that with this behaviour I am supporting the individual's and collective inability to direct oneself and be the solution to all that is here and all that self has to handle, therefore I release from myself the point of abdication of self-responsibility that I want to empower in them in that moment and I direct myself in breath towards finding solutions, and I do not allow myself to participate with this pattern and support this abdication of self-responsibility.

I commit myself to stopping myself and directing myself towards a solution that is best for all, whenever I see myself wanting to console and support other people's misery, because I realise and understand that otherwise I am only supporting disempowerment within myself and others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into misery, whenever I feel too lazy to face and handle and direct a point, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look for other people and want to talk to them in order to justify that I cannot handle this point and that my misery is justified, when in reality I am simply being too lazy to handle the point.

When and as I see myself wanting to go into misery because I am being too lazy to handle and direct a point, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am only justifying and empowering my laziness with misery, therefore I release the trigger point and thought pattern behind the misery/laziness with self-forgiveness and I direct myself in breath towards solving and directing the point, and I do not allow myself to be lazy about it.

I commit myself to immediately stopping myself whenever I see misery arising from laziness, because I realise and understand that I am only justifying my laziness with misery and am limiting myself from directing the point, therefore I commit myself to remove the laziness and direct the point(s) into an outcome that will be best for me within the context of what is best for all.

Day 183: Blaming parents for not completing my education

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like I've never amounted to anything and within this feel inferior to other human beings, whom I perceive have done something with their lives in terms of education and survival in the system - getting what I perceive to be a good job.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that the goal in life is/should be getting the highest form of education, excel at it, get a job, excel at it, and within this I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to feel inferior/negative/less than because I perceived that I was unable to complete my schooling and get what I'd perceive to be an ideal job.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior in the presence of people who have finished their schooling, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive myself and others who have not reached/completed the highest form of education as inferior to those that have completed it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a fear of not finishing my schooling/university within myself when I was a child, when I read in a paper article that a woman didn't/couldn't finish university and left before she graduated. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to that woman, and fear that I too will not be able to finish my schooling, not realising and understanding that that is when I started creating my own reality of not graduating from university.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/define myself as a student who is not capable of concentrating enough in order to learn the information presented at school, instead of realising and understanding that with this perception/definition I was creating an excuse for myself, because I didn't want to or had the drive to study and better myself amidst the emotional turmoil I subdued to because of living with alcoholic parents.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive my childhood experience with my parents as hard and a turmoil, and use it as an excuse to not have to take responsibility for myself in the system in terms of educating myself effectively on how to survive in the system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to simply not care what happens to me in terms of education and survival within the system and justify this not caring with having too many problems at home to be able to focus on my education and learning how to survive in the system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame the fact that my parents were alcoholics for me not studying, not wanting to study, not feeling like studying and not caring what happens to me in the future if I do not study, instead of realising and understanding that with this blame I am abdicating my self-responsibility and shifting it onto my parents, not realising and understanding that I was haring myself in the process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my parents for the way I experienced myself as a child, instead of realising and understanding that I created my own inner experience and I myself allowed myself to feel like a victim and feel powerless as a child.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to as a child feel powerless and like a victim, instead of breathing here and not allowing myself to go into self-victimisation.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realise as a child that I am the sole creator of my inner experience and that only I am responsible for what I create within my mind based on the input from outside of myself.

When and as I see myself wanting to blame my parents and their drinking of alcohol and irresponsible behaviour for the experiences I have created within myself and my reality in life, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am participating within abdication of absolute self-responsibility within my mind, therefore I release the trigger point and thought pattern with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath without blaming my parents, and I take absolute responsibility for the situation I am in.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive my parents as irresponsible and neglectful because they drank alcohol, and within this feel superior to them, instead of realising and understanding that with this I am justifying/causing separation between myself and my parents.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from my parents by defining and perceiving them as bad, neglectful and irresponsible parents, instead of realising and understanding that I am with this blaming my parents and with that abdicating my self-responsibility for the way I experience myself in this world.

I commit myself to stopping and removing all my thought patterns about blaming my parents for the way I turned out, because I realise and understand that what I am is a result of what I have accepted and allowed to exist within my own mind.