Day 166: VIP

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/equate happiness with having important and famous friends, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to value people who are perceived as important and famous in this world as more than and superior to others, instead of realising and understanding that I am participating within my own mind's polarity construct, where I feel less than and inferior to people, who are perceived as important and famous in this world, and therefore wish to feel superior and more than others by making friends with those "important and famous" people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to have "famous and important" friends, so that I could define/perceive myself as important, and could easily manipulate others in self-interest, because they would perceive me as important for having important friends.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to yearn for importance, and want/need/desire to experience myself as someone important in this world, instead of realising and understanding that by wanting to be important, I am wanting to be superior and thus I am negating and not considering the equality and interconnectedness of all beings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that being important and/or having "important" friends in life will make my life easier and more comfortable, and will open up all doors for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to have "important" friends in order to be able to use those/my VIP connections to make my own life easier within the system by simply being able to say a name in relation to myself and have all doors open for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to envy and be jealous of people, whom I perceive to have important friends and/or who are important themselves, because I thought/believed/perceived that they have it easier in life, and that everyone loves and adores them for being important and/or famous.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to be adored, admired and loved myself by being an "important person", instead of realising and understanding that I am participating within a mind polarity construct, where on the flip side I make myself feel unimportant and inferior, therefore I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/define myself as unimportant and feel inferior for it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that having important friends will give me extra value in the eyes of others, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive people with "important" friends as more than, superior and more valuable than others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive famous people as more important and more valuable than others in this world, instead of realising and understanding that this is how I support inequality within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to be a member of this worlds 

"high society", so that I could make myself feel and perceive/define myself as more than and superior to others, instead of realising and understanding that I am participating in my mind's imagination, because all people are physically equal, and "more important" and "less important" are only constructs of my mind with which I support the inequality between people in this world.

Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive the human being to be more important and superior to all other beings, instead of realising and understanding that I am supporting the inequality of all living beings by allowing this perception to exist within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of not being important in this world, instead of realising and understanding that I am equating and perceiving importance as a trait that will help me have an easier life due to other people helping me and assisting me, within which I abdicate my absolute self-responsibility for my life and my survival within this system.

When and as I see myself wanting to be important and/or wanting to have important friends and/or wanting to be able to socialize with people whom I perceive to be important and famous in this world, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am participating in my mind's construct of believing and perceiving that mingling with "important and famous" people will make my life easier and more fun, which I realise is an abdication of my full self-responsibility and self-sufficiency, therefore I release the trigger point and thought pattern about "important and famous" people with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath in awareness that no being on this planet is physically more important than another.

I commit myself to through self-investigative writing and self-forgiveness stop and remove all my perceptions/definitions/beliefs of importance and about "important and famous" people, because I realise and understand that wanting to be important and perceiving some beings as more important than others, I am participating in and allowing a polarity construct of the mind in order to generate energy for it to exist as ego, in which I want to abdicate my self-responsibility due to my perception that "important and famous" people have easier lives than myself, which I realise and understand is a fuckup, because they physically breathe and move the same as me, and everything else, such as "easier and more comfortable life" than my own is just a perception of my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to be "important and famous", so that men would easier be infatuated with me, fall in love with me, and that I could experience myself as more desirable and have easy access to sex and admiration from all men. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive "important and famous" people as more desirable and sexually attractive than "regular people", instead of realising and understanding that I am participating within my mind's construct of believing and perceiving that those people have easier lives, and if I were to be sexually and emotionally involved with such people, I would have an easier life as well, which is all but an abdication of my self-responsibility.

When and as I see myself being sexually attracted to a "famous and/or important" person, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am participating within my mind's construct, where I perceive and define those people as more attractive because I perceive that they have easier lives, and am being attracted by their lavish lifestyles, which I allow myself to desire, therefore I release the trigger point and thought pattern with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath in awareness that the perceptions of my mind about those people and their lives do not reflect physical reality, only the perceptional reality of the human, which is not real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be sexually attracted by famous men and want/need/desire to have their lavish lifestyles, instead of realising and understanding that I am participating within my mind's construct of "class", which I have built up from data input from my family, the media and my surroundings, and am wanting to actualize my fantasies of having a classy lifestyle.

When and as I see myself defining and perceiving something or someone as "more classy" and "less classy", I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am participating within my mind's polarity construct, where I feel inferior to people whom I perceive to be classier than me, and superior to people whom I perceive less classy than me, therefore I release the trigger point and thought pattern with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make myself feel superior by defining/perceiving myself as more classy than others, and by telling other people/my partner  that they have no class, instead of realising and understanding that whenever I do this, I do it from a feeling of inferiority, which I then try to balance out with superiority, therefore when I notice myself wanting to feel superior to another by using class and classiness, I stop and I breathe. I investigate the feeling of inferiority with which I caused this reaction within myself, release it with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath within awareness that classiness and class are fuckups of the human mind that enforce inequality.