Monday, 29 October 2012

Day 40: Wanting to be thin


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit my intake of food with the starting point of wanting to loose weight in order to be more appealing to men and meeting the society's standards of beauty, instead of allowing myself to eat when and as I notice that my physical body is hungry and needs support.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to eat whenever I feel bad and with that console myself, instead of realising that I am harming my physical body by feeding it, when it is not feeling hungry.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from my physical body within my hatred for the way it looks.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive my physical body as ugly and not appealing to men.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from my physical body within wanting and desiring to have a thin physical body in order to be able to manipulate men with my looks and gain the hypnotic control over them that I perceived thin girls to be having over men.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that thin girls have hypnotic powers over men, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior to thin girls, because I perceive that I do not have that power, and furthermore I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish/want/need/desire to have this perceived hypnotic sexual power over men, instead of realising that with this desire I am separating myself from myself and others as me by pursuing to have power over men and be/feel superior to them and at the same time I am competing with other women in terms of who has more hypnotic sexual power over men, which is unacceptable.

When and as I see myself wanting/desiring to be able to seduce a man, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that by doing so I am separating myself from all as me with desiring to feel superior and more than, therefore I release the point with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior and less than, whenever I see a girl who is thinner than me, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior whenever I see/perceive that a thinner girl is getting more attention from men than myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that thin girls lead a much happier life than myself, instead of realising and understanding that this is a perceprion of my mind, which has lead me to believe that I should be unhappy and feel unfulfilled because I am overweight.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that thin girls have it much easier in life in terms of manipulating men into getting what they want, instead of realising and understanding that I am causing myself to feel inferior with this, and with this am separating myself from myself and all as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that I should manipulate men into doing what I want and them getting me what I want, instead of realising and understanding that I am within doing so abdicating my absolute self-responsibility.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive myself as 'not beautiful, but interesting', instead of realising that with this I am trying to compensate for my feeling of inferiority towards thin girls and girls that I perceive as 'beautiful', by trying to make myself superior to them by labelling myself and my looks as 'interesting'

When and as I see myself comparing to other girls in terms of looks and intelligence, and feeling inferior within it, I stop and I breathe. I do not allow myself to go into comparison or any kind of other judgement, instead I release the point with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.

I commit myself to stop any and all comparison with other women in terms of looks, intelligence and ability to seduce a man, because I realise and understand that seducing men is an act of separation from myself and all - an energetic need of the mind to generate friction and energy for it's own survival, which I am stopping within myself.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realise that all seduction games are based in money and survival as the undercurrent of all my energetic experiences.

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