Day 208: Reacting to the tone of people's voices

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react with annoyance, anger, resentment, blame, furiousness and wanting to get revenge, whenever I perceive that someone is being demanding of me, instead of realising and understanding that I am feeling inferior and that I am trying to compensate with superiority as all those emotions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/define being demanding as an act of superiority, and feel inferior whenever I'm being demanded something of, and feel like a servant, a subordinate, instead of realising and understanding that I am creating this experience for myself and can stop it.

When and as I see myself reacting emotionally when I perceive that someone is being demanding of me, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am participating in my mind's polarity construct, where I have defined being demanding as an act of superiority, towards which I feel inferior and then need to compensate with power feelings of anger, resentment, annoyance, frustration, blame, fury, wanting to get revenge. Therefore I stop, I breathe, I investigate and remove the trigger point and thought pattern with self-forgiveness, and I direct myself in breath towards what is best for all with common sense.

I commit myself to stopping and removing my emotional reactions towards someone I perceive to be demanding, because I realise and understand that their beahviour doesn't influence me unless I create their influence within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/define the word 'demanding' as negative, bad, and connect and equate it with power - someone forcing me to do something - and in that feel inferior, whenever I see/perceive myself to be in the position of being demanded something of, instead of allowing myself to breathe and be stable here and not allow myself to go into an emotional reaction towards the tone with which something has been said to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react energetically, emotionally - positively and negatively - towards the tone of voice that people have when they talk to me, and go into projections of what they are feeling inside when they are talking a certain way - using my own behaviour as reference - instead of realising and understanding that I am participating within my mind of thoughts, feelings and emotions, therefore I am not aware of and equal to all that is here, and might misunderstand what is being communicated.

When and as I see myself reacting towards the tone of voice of people - positively or negatively - I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am participating within my mind and am therefore not being aware of all that is here, therefore I release the trigger point and thought pattern with self-forgiveness and I direct myself in breath towards what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react positively to people's tone of voice that I perceive to be positive, and be happy to hear them having a positive tone of voice, and feel good/positive/superior/more than, when I am in such a conversation, and work towards keeping the conversation positive and pleasant, instead of realising and understanding that I am feeding my mind as ego the energy of positive feelings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react negatively to people's tone of voice that I perceive to be negative, and be afraid to talk to them due to my perception of their tone of voice being negative, and feel bad/negative/inferior/less than when I am in such a conversation, and work towards retaliating and overpowering the person or subduing myself to the person based on the starting point of my self-interest, not realising and understanding that I am in that moment feeding my mind as ego the energy of negative emotions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to assess the direction I'll be taking within communication with people based on their feedback through their tone of voice, instead of realising and understanding that I am participating in my mind's construct of social behaviour, where I'll feel happy to communicate with people with positive voice tones and be scared to communicate with people with negative voice tones, and in that I will adjust to them and not go into the direction that is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to adjust my responses in conversations based on the feedback of the tone of voices of other people and work towards keeping them positive in order to be able to feel positive about myself, instead of realising and understanding that I am participating in my mind as ego.

When and as I see myself wanting to adjust my response based on people's tone of voice, I stop and I breathe. I check my starting point and clear it of self-interest with self-forgiveness and I direct myself in breath towards what is best for all.

I commit myself to stopping and removing all my reactions to people's voice tonalities, positive and negative, because I realise and understand that whenever I am reacting to them, I am participating in my mind with self-interest and am not being equal to all that is here.

Day 207: The 'convenience' of euthanasia for animals

A family cat is dying. I don't live with the cat, so I can't know for sure, but yesterday when visiting I didn't get the impression that it's in such a bad shape that it needs to be put down. I was cautious about this subject because I didn't want to come off as wanting to put the cat down because it is cheaper and more convenient than treatment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive/consider/regard putting animals down as more convenient for me than treatment of the animal because it is cheaper, quicker and generally less of a hassle, not realising and understanding that in that moment I am only considering myself and my own needs/wants/desires/ and not the animals.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive people, who consider money before the well-being of an animal - regardless of what their financial situation is - as heartless, and therefore feel like a heartless person because I am taking into consideration my own survival within the system when considering the treatment or euthanasia for an animal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to consider/define/perceive my own financial situation and saving money to be more important than an animals well being, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that spending money on the treatment of animals is an unnecessary and unfair expense, instead of realising and understanding that I am participating within fear of loss of money and am therefore putting money before life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be ashamed of considering my own financial situation/well-being before the health of an animal that needs medical treatment, and want to hide it from myself and others by not wanting to put an animal down even when it is needed due to not wanting to come off as if I am rushing it only to save money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of being seen/perceived as neglectful and selfish if I suggest an animal to be put down without exercising every other available option no matter how much it costs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel guilty for not being prepared to spend all of my money on the treatment of an animal, when I perceive that the treatment would not be efficient.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like a villain, like I am doing something evil and bad, whenever I need to put down an animal to relieve it of it's suffering.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to counter/balance the feeling of doing something bad when putting down an animal by calling/perceiving/defining it as an 'act of mercy', with which I would try to feel superior in order to neutralize the feeling of inferiority.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive any act of killing as 'bad', regardless of the starting point, instead of realising and understanding that the starting point is everything and accepting death as a part of life without judging it as 'bad'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/define putting down an animal as a relief for me because I don't have to worry about it being in pain anymore.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to postpone putting down an animal because I felt bad about killing it.

When and as I have an energetic emotional reaction to putting down an animal, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am participating within my 'death is bad' construct, and am therefore not able to be clear about the situation, therefore I release the trigger point and thought pattern with self-forgiveness and I direct myself in breath towards what is best for all and do not allow myself to be influenced by my own perceptions and definitions of death.

I commit myself to investigating and releasing my mind construct of 'death is bad', because I realise and understand that death is a part of life and only the mind fears death due to not knowing what is beyond it.